The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Court Part 2"A family learns their father is a serial killer
21 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Smurph,
I was so hoping James would speak him mind in the court...DANG! I am sure His sobbing must have been contrived and I agree with James, he cares only for himself. Maybe he cried because he was going to jail when he thought he was so clever to avoid that. Too bad they can't put him in solitary confinement for the rest of his life. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Hi Smurph,
I was so hoping James would speak him mind in the court...DANG! I am sure His sobbing must have been contrived and I agree with James, he cares only for himself. Maybe he cried because he was going to jail when he thought he was so clever to avoid that. Too bad they can't put him in solitary confinement for the rest of his life. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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I plan to post the next chapter this afternoon. James talks to the court in this one.
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Yippie!
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
Well, the bastard got what was coming to him. I would have liked a round of applause from the spectators after he was sentenced.
I expected more from James?
Ron
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Hi Smurphy
Well, the bastard got what was coming to him. I would have liked a round of applause from the spectators after he was sentenced.
I expected more from James?
Ron
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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James has plenty to say. I plan to post that chapter this evening.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
1. The silence in the courtroom was unnerving. Unable to take my eyes off the photograph staring at me, I felt her hand reach into my chest and squeeze my heart. {what a powerful emotional effect for James,}
2. The sight of tears streaming down his face angered me. I knew in my heart that they were not tears of remorse. I had no doubt they were nothing more than self-pity. How pathetic. What was it about people like him? They can commit the most horrendous crimes then, when facing judgment, have the audacity to cry. [James is relating to the known manipulative of his father's audacity. It is the same deceptive way he ruled his family. Maybe just part of a twisted game.}
3. The questions, "Is this statement true?" and "How do you plead?" received ten tearful yes and guilty responses. I wondered if I was the only one who noticed that he refused to look at a single photograph. Although the process seemed to take hours, time also flew by so quickly that I was not prepared when the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say before pronouncing sentence. {much like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. They know they are caught and the know they are guilty, but they refuse to look up and remain cowed all the way to their punishment. great description.}
4. The defendant's entire body trembled violently as he stood with his head bowed. The heart wrenching sobs coming from the spectators, Mac, Mr. Hurley, and me drowned out the sound of his pathetic blubbering. {this pargraph more than any oter show the anguish that swept through the court room what John Mathews siad and his emotional response to his sentence was so weak compared to the damage he had caused to the collective consciousness of the famies involved that it meant nothing at all. Many in the courtroom, including James, will need a lifetime to recover]
Valerie, when they make the movie, theaters can make a fortune from the tissue concession. I wish I could give you a big reward for every chapter in you book It jst keeps getting better.
On question; Will James haxve an opportunity to speak for his father and if he does whatcan he say?
Love and Irish Hugs,
roger
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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1. The silence in the courtroom was unnerving. Unable to take my eyes off the photograph staring at me, I felt her hand reach into my chest and squeeze my heart. {what a powerful emotional effect for James,}
2. The sight of tears streaming down his face angered me. I knew in my heart that they were not tears of remorse. I had no doubt they were nothing more than self-pity. How pathetic. What was it about people like him? They can commit the most horrendous crimes then, when facing judgment, have the audacity to cry. [James is relating to the known manipulative of his father's audacity. It is the same deceptive way he ruled his family. Maybe just part of a twisted game.}
3. The questions, "Is this statement true?" and "How do you plead?" received ten tearful yes and guilty responses. I wondered if I was the only one who noticed that he refused to look at a single photograph. Although the process seemed to take hours, time also flew by so quickly that I was not prepared when the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say before pronouncing sentence. {much like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. They know they are caught and the know they are guilty, but they refuse to look up and remain cowed all the way to their punishment. great description.}
4. The defendant's entire body trembled violently as he stood with his head bowed. The heart wrenching sobs coming from the spectators, Mac, Mr. Hurley, and me drowned out the sound of his pathetic blubbering. {this pargraph more than any oter show the anguish that swept through the court room what John Mathews siad and his emotional response to his sentence was so weak compared to the damage he had caused to the collective consciousness of the famies involved that it meant nothing at all. Many in the courtroom, including James, will need a lifetime to recover]
Valerie, when they make the movie, theaters can make a fortune from the tissue concession. I wish I could give you a big reward for every chapter in you book It jst keeps getting better.
On question; Will James haxve an opportunity to speak for his father and if he does whatcan he say?
Love and Irish Hugs,
roger
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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I plan to post that chapter this afternoon. James has plenty to say but not what his father asked for. I am so pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from Showboat
Excellent conclusion to this part of the story, very well done. Myself, I'd prefer the death penalty any day over living in prison for the rest of my life.
My only thoughts are the multiple thousands of tax payer dollars that will go toward keeping that piece of trash and all those like him, alive.
Great job, a virtual sixer!
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Excellent conclusion to this part of the story, very well done. Myself, I'd prefer the death penalty any day over living in prison for the rest of my life.
My only thoughts are the multiple thousands of tax payer dollars that will go toward keeping that piece of trash and all those like him, alive.
Great job, a virtual sixer!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks for the sincerely appreciated virtual 6. I am so pleased you liked this one.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I thought James was going to speak? Did I miss something?
Only when the Judge spoke did he finally lift his eyes. (I am pretty sure judge used this way has a lower case 'j')
Although not bound by law to honor your plea agreement, i will respect the wishes of the victims' families and do so.." (I)
He looked at the defendant with nothing less than hatred then continued. (comma after continued)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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I thought James was going to speak? Did I miss something?
Only when the Judge spoke did he finally lift his eyes. (I am pretty sure judge used this way has a lower case 'j')
Although not bound by law to honor your plea agreement, i will respect the wishes of the victims' families and do so.." (I)
He looked at the defendant with nothing less than hatred then continued. (comma after continued)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks, once again, for catching the spags. You have a great eye.
Comment from hellion5
Revised review:
Excellent scene! I love what you did with the ending--it makes perfect sense and drives home the injustice of it all. Great job--
Sue
Original review, 4 stars
This is a very well-written, realistic depiction of this type of courtroom scene. The only thing I questioned, though, is why the spectators were sobbing at the end. I would think they would be cheering because this lunatic was never going to get out of prison. If not, I would expect silence instead of sobbing.
I love your use of imagery, especially this one:
I felt her hand reach into my chest and squeeze my heart.
And this one:
choking on the giant, inappropriate ball of
Some things that caught my eye:
the sound of unexpected fear when he--it seems you're saying the fear is unexpected by the narrator. If that's the case, I think moving the "unexpected" to before the word "sound" would be better.
against the easel I could see--easel, I could
I John Martin Mathews stabbed and--the name is an independent clause and needs to be isolated with commas
at Mr. O'Brien then back to--O'Brien, then
his face with the handkerchief,--I think this would be stronger if you end the clause at face.
victims families and do do.."--do, do--the comma makes it clearer that he's stammering--unless, of course, it's supposed to be do so? I kind of like the stammering idea better, though.
hatred then continued--hatred, then--you either need a comma or a conjunction
with murder",--murder,"
Hope this helps--
Sue
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Revised review:
Excellent scene! I love what you did with the ending--it makes perfect sense and drives home the injustice of it all. Great job--
Sue
Original review, 4 stars
This is a very well-written, realistic depiction of this type of courtroom scene. The only thing I questioned, though, is why the spectators were sobbing at the end. I would think they would be cheering because this lunatic was never going to get out of prison. If not, I would expect silence instead of sobbing.
I love your use of imagery, especially this one:
I felt her hand reach into my chest and squeeze my heart.
And this one:
choking on the giant, inappropriate ball of
Some things that caught my eye:
the sound of unexpected fear when he--it seems you're saying the fear is unexpected by the narrator. If that's the case, I think moving the "unexpected" to before the word "sound" would be better.
against the easel I could see--easel, I could
I John Martin Mathews stabbed and--the name is an independent clause and needs to be isolated with commas
at Mr. O'Brien then back to--O'Brien, then
his face with the handkerchief,--I think this would be stronger if you end the clause at face.
victims families and do do.."--do, do--the comma makes it clearer that he's stammering--unless, of course, it's supposed to be do so? I kind of like the stammering idea better, though.
hatred then continued--hatred, then--you either need a comma or a conjunction
with murder",--murder,"
Hope this helps--
Sue
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags and for the suggestions. I agree with your comment about silenced instead of tears. However, I witnessed one sentencing of a serial killer and the audience was sobbing at the end.
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People do strange things! I can't imagine ever feeling sorry that someone who has confessed to doing such things is going away forever. But, that's just me--
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They aren't crying because they felt sorry for him, they are crying because he got off easy.
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Ah, that makes much more sense! Throw in a word about that for clarification and it's perfect the way it is! BTW, let me know when you're done looking this over so I can revise my review--
Comment from debskatz
Hey Smurphgirl,
Though this is the first chapter I've read, I still enjoyed reading it. I didn't need the previous material in order to enjoy this chapter. It read well and effortlessly. Did find a few spag:
I(,) John Martin Mathews stabbed - found this twice
honor your plea agreement, (I) will respect
nothing less than hatred(,) then continued.
Again, I enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Hey Smurphgirl,
Though this is the first chapter I've read, I still enjoyed reading it. I didn't need the previous material in order to enjoy this chapter. It read well and effortlessly. Did find a few spag:
I(,) John Martin Mathews stabbed - found this twice
honor your plea agreement, (I) will respect
nothing less than hatred(,) then continued.
Again, I enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags. I sincerely appreciate it. I am also impressed you liked this despite not having read previous chapters.
Comment from c_lucas
Although this is a brilliantly written piece of fiction. I felt angry over the sentence. The murder should be skinned alive and dropped into a vat of iodine. Excellent writing.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Although this is a brilliantly written piece of fiction. I felt angry over the sentence. The murder should be skinned alive and dropped into a vat of iodine. Excellent writing.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Maybe a vat of kerosine and set on fire would do nicely.
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No Fire. The burning sensation of iodine lasts longer than rubbing alcohol.
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Okay, I'll go with the iodine.
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It's guaranteed to get a response.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a remarkable chapter...
you've done so well to paint
the scene for your readers and
describe emotions.... most impressive.
a couple of minor things...
aluminum -- aluminium
Although not bound by law to honor your plea agreement, (I) will respect the wishes of the victims(') families and do do.." ???
Plea agreement is agreeed -agreed
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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This is a remarkable chapter...
you've done so well to paint
the scene for your readers and
describe emotions.... most impressive.
a couple of minor things...
aluminum -- aluminium
Although not bound by law to honor your plea agreement, (I) will respect the wishes of the victims(') families and do do.." ???
Plea agreement is agreeed -agreed
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags. I'll tell you the same thing I just told Brooke...I flunked English Grammar in high school. I had to take it twice and didn't do much better the second time around.
Comment from adewpearl
On the floor, leaning against the easel, - add comma
It was a photograph one - of one
Very effective, Valerie, as the charges are read and responded to.
James's reaction to everything his father says and does is compelling
Although not bound by law to honor your plea agreement, will respect - I will
wishes of the victims' families - add the apostrophe for plural possessive
and do do - and do so
Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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On the floor, leaning against the easel, - add comma
It was a photograph one - of one
Very effective, Valerie, as the charges are read and responded to.
James's reaction to everything his father says and does is compelling
Although not bound by law to honor your plea agreement, will respect - I will
wishes of the victims' families - add the apostrophe for plural possessive
and do do - and do so
Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags. Did I ever mention I flunked English grammar in high school? No excuse, but just thought I'd mention it.
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I came close to failing physics - all that mysterious math...
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Now, physics makes perfect sense to me. Don't ever get me started on black holes...I'll go on for hours and bore you to death.