The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Two Days of Hell"A family learns their father is a serial killer
20 total reviews
Comment from Janie King
You are going to leave me here until tomorrow evening, in this state? Maybe this jerk is going to get his due but then he had a crazy father that did who knows what to him..this is bazaar...type girl..type...and post quickly..good-night and God bless.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2012
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You are going to leave me here until tomorrow evening, in this state? Maybe this jerk is going to get his due but then he had a crazy father that did who knows what to him..this is bazaar...type girl..type...and post quickly..good-night and God bless.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2012
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I'm typing as fast as my little finger will let me. Glad you liked this one.
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Liked is a strange word for this story...it's so bazaar...it's not something I would ever just pick up to read...but since it was you I decided to try to deal with it..it is fiction..I keep telling myself that..this is fictioanl..this didn't really happen..maybe some of it is based on something that happened but it didn't all happen to this one family...it is well-written...just out of curiosity what made you decide to want to write this kind of story? God bless.
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I come from Washington State which has the highest umber of serial killers in the US. I recall watching the television and listening to the families being criticized and accused of knowing the truth but hiding it. I felt so sorry for them. This is a book I've been thinking about writing for many years. I agree 'enjoy' is an odd word to use, doesn't really apply. But I am stuck on finding a better one.
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I din't mean that negative by any means..you're doing a great job..it has definitely held my interest..the fact you came from the state with the most serial killers and you watched what their families suffered make it make perfect sense3 why you felt the need to write a book to basically show their side and what they go through. I do commend you for the project. God bless.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Sasha...I really looked for things wrong, and couldn't find anything...of course, I am not that great a reviewer! The only thing I see is maybe? add the word 'but' after penalty in the last sentence? I promise to buy this when you get it done Sasha. Love you! Susan
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2012
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Hi Sasha...I really looked for things wrong, and couldn't find anything...of course, I am not that great a reviewer! The only thing I see is maybe? add the word 'but' after penalty in the last sentence? I promise to buy this when you get it done Sasha. Love you! Susan
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2012
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Congratulations on your award!!! long overdue. Glad you liked this one. I'll take a look at that last sentence.
Comment from writerwish
Great from beginning to end. Interest stays with me till end and doesn't stop. When I read second wife was older, maybe eight, I thought you made a mistake. Pervert! Two spags:
James, you(r) father
Mac's expression soften(ed)
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Great from beginning to end. Interest stays with me till end and doesn't stop. When I read second wife was older, maybe eight, I thought you made a mistake. Pervert! Two spags:
James, you(r) father
Mac's expression soften(ed)
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Pefvert is an understatement. I am thrilled this keeps your interest and thank you so much for the awesome 6 stars.
Comment from hyway94
What can a person do when he has a father and grandfather like he has. I know that he is going to put the screws to his father when he goes to court. Sure makes me feel good.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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What can a person do when he has a father and grandfather like he has. I know that he is going to put the screws to his father when he goes to court. Sure makes me feel good.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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You are on the right track but the question is how is is going to do it.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Wow, this is some family we're dealing with. It must be hard to keep your head around all the intricacies of relationships.
I would like to see some sort of change of font for the different speakers and for the diary entries, just to make it easier for the reader to follow.
There is a small mistake somewhere... but I lost it! Giddy
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Wow, this is some family we're dealing with. It must be hard to keep your head around all the intricacies of relationships.
I would like to see some sort of change of font for the different speakers and for the diary entries, just to make it easier for the reader to follow.
There is a small mistake somewhere... but I lost it! Giddy
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I'll go back over it again. I have begun to go cross eyed I've read this so many times.
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I know the feeling! G xx
Comment from nomi338
This story is interesting but just a tad too brutal and blood thirsty for my taste. The structure is tight and I can find no flaws in the story. The narrative is straight forward and the story never bogs down. I only object to the violence and that is a personal choice which has nothing at all to do with the quality of the story.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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This story is interesting but just a tad too brutal and blood thirsty for my taste. The structure is tight and I can find no flaws in the story. The narrative is straight forward and the story never bogs down. I only object to the violence and that is a personal choice which has nothing at all to do with the quality of the story.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I understand completely. I don't much care for blood and gore stories but don't mind murder mysteries as long as there is not too much description or details.
Comment from words
I feel that once again James's father is setting him up. If James gives the information that will insure his father's death penalty ...then James will probably end up estranged from his family and his dad wins ... again.
Did you do research on the bride kidnappings? What an horrific tradition.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I feel that once again James's father is setting him up. If James gives the information that will insure his father's death penalty ...then James will probably end up estranged from his family and his dad wins ... again.
Did you do research on the bride kidnappings? What an horrific tradition.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Yes, it is a rare and not often practiced tradition. It was quite common in war time throughout the centuries. But there are still the occasional story about it still happening.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha. Although I still don't get it how James can understand and translate the journal, I believe he could with his high IQ and photographic mind and eidetic memory. Thanks for enriching me with this info. Btw may I ask why there's a sudden change of POV from I to James?
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Hi, Sasha. Although I still don't get it how James can understand and translate the journal, I believe he could with his high IQ and photographic mind and eidetic memory. Thanks for enriching me with this info. Btw may I ask why there's a sudden change of POV from I to James?
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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He is incapable of forgetting anything. Once he reads it, it is there forever. The same goes for seeing and hearing things. It is rare but there are a few documented cases of people actually having this ability. I'll check the POV. Thanks for pointing that out.
Comment from c_lucas
It appears that one would want James on their side. James may just get his revenge. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Error
"That's a question I need to ask you (your) mother
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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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It appears that one would want James on their side. James may just get his revenge. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Error
"That's a question I need to ask you (your) mother
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you liked this one.
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You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from adewpearl
I spoke with Dr. Drake, who informed - add comma
It was given to me, and - add comma
What a horribly sickening story for James to be reading about his own psychotic grandfather
It sure explains a LOT about his dad
The answer, James, was looking for - drop both commas - I'm not even going to guess why you put them there LOL
I sat across from Mac, who had - add comma
tell us is your dad, and I doubt - add comma
They died from child birth - childbirth
that's a possibility, but where - add comma
If he killed Marie Anne in S County, they can - add comma
agreement won't stand, and if - add comma
That is one interesting ending after a most dramatic journal reading
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I spoke with Dr. Drake, who informed - add comma
It was given to me, and - add comma
What a horribly sickening story for James to be reading about his own psychotic grandfather
It sure explains a LOT about his dad
The answer, James, was looking for - drop both commas - I'm not even going to guess why you put them there LOL
I sat across from Mac, who had - add comma
tell us is your dad, and I doubt - add comma
They died from child birth - childbirth
that's a possibility, but where - add comma
If he killed Marie Anne in S County, they can - add comma
agreement won't stand, and if - add comma
That is one interesting ending after a most dramatic journal reading
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Who knows why I do anything...especially with commas. Thanks for catching all the mistakes. Yes, the ending is a bit odd but it will make sense eventually.
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you know, I hope, I never make fun of the feeble-minded, only the talented :-)
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I have actually been called feeble minded...for some reason it didn't upset me.