The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "More Questions "A family learns their father is a serial killer
21 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, smurphgirl, you did a great job writing this chapter where james and mack have a heart to heart talk and james finds more questions than answers
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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this is very well written, smurphgirl, you did a great job writing this chapter where james and mack have a heart to heart talk and james finds more questions than answers
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Smurph,
I hate it when you laeave me hanging! I was hoping to find out what Mac was hiding from James, it may be nothing like he said they haven't learned anything of his aunt and I wonder who she really is. With no records to go on we may never know. James is so frustrated by this whole thing and I find myself feeling sorry for him. I hope the truth comes out soon as I wait for the next chapter. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Hi Smurph,
I hate it when you laeave me hanging! I was hoping to find out what Mac was hiding from James, it may be nothing like he said they haven't learned anything of his aunt and I wonder who she really is. With no records to go on we may never know. James is so frustrated by this whole thing and I find myself feeling sorry for him. I hope the truth comes out soon as I wait for the next chapter. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I am posting another chapter today. Sorry for dragging this out.
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Yippy!
Comment from Showboat
Hi Sasha,
This whole case just gets tougher for everyone concerned. I have a terrible feeling that poor James is going to regret asking for this kind of info.
Very good one, my friend,
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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Hi Sasha,
This whole case just gets tougher for everyone concerned. I have a terrible feeling that poor James is going to regret asking for this kind of info.
Very good one, my friend,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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He's a tough kid and determined to get to the bottom of what made his dad into a killer. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha, what a finding. This is something new, right, as I don't recall information like this in the last version. I was as surprised and curious as James!. You insert narration in conversation in the best way possible...:)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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Hi, Sasha, what a finding. This is something new, right, as I don't recall information like this in the last version. I was as surprised and curious as James!. You insert narration in conversation in the best way possible...:)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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This is new. There is a lot more to come and I do hope it keeps your interest.
Comment from words
I was just thinking that real life is always stranger than fiction ... and your story reads like a "real life" tale.
It reminds of those headlines that we read about children kept locked in basements for years and the neighbors not even knowing they existed. Or the quiet guy who turns our to be serial killer and all of his friends saying that he was "so nice".
This is a chillingly real story.
Hugs
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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I was just thinking that real life is always stranger than fiction ... and your story reads like a "real life" tale.
It reminds of those headlines that we read about children kept locked in basements for years and the neighbors not even knowing they existed. Or the quiet guy who turns our to be serial killer and all of his friends saying that he was "so nice".
This is a chillingly real story.
Hugs
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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While it is clearly fictional, I have taken bits and pieces of real stories and incorporated it into this book. Glad you like it.
Comment from Janie King
Holy Moses..now a complete different name, Rmanian decent..no grave site for mother , missing sister and he still hasn't talked to his mother and Aunt yet...girl..I'm drowning in impatience..type..type..post! (Haha) God bless.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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Holy Moses..now a complete different name, Rmanian decent..no grave site for mother , missing sister and he still hasn't talked to his mother and Aunt yet...girl..I'm drowning in impatience..type..type..post! (Haha) God bless.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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I am typing as we speak....
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good girl...God bless.
Comment from bob cullen
This is superbly written. Your two characters in this excerpt are fleshed out wonderfully well. Having not read anything prior to this chapter, a situation I'm about to rectify, I was immediately drawn into the story.
Your dialogue is sharp and sits comfortably with both Mac and James.
On the basis of this chapter I rate you with the very best this site has to offer
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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This is superbly written. Your two characters in this excerpt are fleshed out wonderfully well. Having not read anything prior to this chapter, a situation I'm about to rectify, I was immediately drawn into the story.
Your dialogue is sharp and sits comfortably with both Mac and James.
On the basis of this chapter I rate you with the very best this site has to offer
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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My goodness, what a wonderful compliment. I am thrilled that you enjoyed this chapter, especially knowing you are coming in in the middle.
Comment from missy98writer
James is learning powerful revaluations and ah moments about his serial killer father. Your latest chapter is exceptionally well written with excellent descriptive writing. I liked what you've written, especally this: "Realizing again that my entire life was based on a lie, I paused to catch my breath. I suddenly felt tears well up in my eyes thinking about Mom. Knowing she was the product of more than twenty-years of meticulous brain washing caused me to wonder if I would ever know the person she was before Dad got hold of her." So far this is your best written. Stunning imagery you've created with actions of the main character, James, who's much wiser than his years. I like how you write from the prospective of the family of a serial killer. I've always wondered why serial killers can be married and have kids, but Dr Jekyl is lurking behind the persona of My Hyde. recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers as a 'must' read for a smashing good time. I'd encourage you to keep moving forward with your entertaining story, my friend. I hope to catch your next chapter. I bid you a lovely day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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James is learning powerful revaluations and ah moments about his serial killer father. Your latest chapter is exceptionally well written with excellent descriptive writing. I liked what you've written, especally this: "Realizing again that my entire life was based on a lie, I paused to catch my breath. I suddenly felt tears well up in my eyes thinking about Mom. Knowing she was the product of more than twenty-years of meticulous brain washing caused me to wonder if I would ever know the person she was before Dad got hold of her." So far this is your best written. Stunning imagery you've created with actions of the main character, James, who's much wiser than his years. I like how you write from the prospective of the family of a serial killer. I've always wondered why serial killers can be married and have kids, but Dr Jekyl is lurking behind the persona of My Hyde. recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers as a 'must' read for a smashing good time. I'd encourage you to keep moving forward with your entertaining story, my friend. I hope to catch your next chapter. I bid you a lovely day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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Thanks you so much. I am thrilled you liked this one and sincerely appreciate you generous compliments.
Comment from denisebrow
Interesting read. Hooked me on going back and reading your other chapters. My only comment is in regards to you using "heavy hands" and "iron hands" they are too similar. I also picked up on "sip of cold coffee" and later you added "sip of coffee". Great Job
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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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Interesting read. Hooked me on going back and reading your other chapters. My only comment is in regards to you using "heavy hands" and "iron hands" they are too similar. I also picked up on "sip of cold coffee" and later you added "sip of coffee". Great Job
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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I'll go back and take a look at your suggestions. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from c_lucas
You have a rarity in Mac. A tought street-wised cop with a heart. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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You have a rarity in Mac. A tought street-wised cop with a heart. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012
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Yes, Mac is special. I am pleased you liked this one.