Velocity
Introspection and Reflection...20 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
and a round we go in the merry-go-round. i find your poem quite unique. it surely is interesting. to find who you are takes some reflection. and finally your ressurection.
thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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and a round we go in the merry-go-round. i find your poem quite unique. it surely is interesting. to find who you are takes some reflection. and finally your ressurection.
thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hi there rjuselius,
thanks for the cool review, it is appreciated.
cheers
grant
Comment from Penny 4 your thought
This is a rather insightful self evaluation, and a very well written poem. Your words paint a picture for your reader. All in all a solid five. Penny for your thought
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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This is a rather insightful self evaluation, and a very well written poem. Your words paint a picture for your reader. All in all a solid five. Penny for your thought
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hey there Penny,
I am glad you enjoyed the poem and hope you can enjoy some of my other work also.
cheers
grant
Comment from Carrie Carson
Great job in the first two lines, already I feel a sense of world weary. Good flow, consistent pace.
Couple of lines, I didn't quite get, totally just one opinion from a not formally trained poet. "His shelter sought no longer safe" Are you saying his home was longer a sanctuary? "a strength within, with strength begin" not sure of what that means. "so soft of skin, while boots sink in", ditto.
I like too the sense of determination to tackle the world again.
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Great job in the first two lines, already I feel a sense of world weary. Good flow, consistent pace.
Couple of lines, I didn't quite get, totally just one opinion from a not formally trained poet. "His shelter sought no longer safe" Are you saying his home was longer a sanctuary? "a strength within, with strength begin" not sure of what that means. "so soft of skin, while boots sink in", ditto.
I like too the sense of determination to tackle the world again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Thanks Carrie for the review.
Most of it is a big metaphor if that helps your understanding?
cheers
grant
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I figured it was me...another cup of coffee, I think. Thank you for not taking offense on a personal level.
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not a problem!!
I have thick skin!
grant
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not a problem!!
I have thick skin!
grant
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not a problem!!
I have thick skin!
grant
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not a problem!!
I have thick skin!
grant
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not a problem!!
I have thick skin!
grant
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now how did all THAT just happen????
Comment from peggles
I enjoyed this very much
A well developed voice is always a pleasure to read
I enjoyed the way you have used such expressive language
The quality of your poetry is lovely
And a pleasure to read
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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I enjoyed this very much
A well developed voice is always a pleasure to read
I enjoyed the way you have used such expressive language
The quality of your poetry is lovely
And a pleasure to read
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hi again peggles!
Thanks for joining me again.
Glad you are still enjoying my stuff.
cheers
grant
Comment from LilHippie
Oh my God! This is an exquisite poem. So well written, I love the two rhymes within sentences, that adds so much impact to an already powerful piece that touches the heart. I cannot even imagine anyone reading this and not giving it six stars (if they have it). So beautiful, so honest and deep. Such emotion, absolutely beautiful! I love "Along the road to recompense, the charlatans appear,so soft of skin, while boots sink in, compounding all his fear." This is outstanding. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Oh my God! This is an exquisite poem. So well written, I love the two rhymes within sentences, that adds so much impact to an already powerful piece that touches the heart. I cannot even imagine anyone reading this and not giving it six stars (if they have it). So beautiful, so honest and deep. Such emotion, absolutely beautiful! I love "Along the road to recompense, the charlatans appear,so soft of skin, while boots sink in, compounding all his fear." This is outstanding. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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thank you so much for the fantastic words Hippie munchkin!! lol
I love it when a reader is able to really dig in and find something that is special to them o a personal level.
Again, thank you.
cheers
grant
Comment from tinams
I found this poem very interesting, and could relate to many of the sentiments it encompassed. 'The wilderness can lose a man or he himself be found' rang very true as I have encountered the wilderness several times. Also 'Within my heart, another start because I know I can' struck a chord as I have managed to make a new start each time I have found myself in the wilderness. Well done :)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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I found this poem very interesting, and could relate to many of the sentiments it encompassed. 'The wilderness can lose a man or he himself be found' rang very true as I have encountered the wilderness several times. Also 'Within my heart, another start because I know I can' struck a chord as I have managed to make a new start each time I have found myself in the wilderness. Well done :)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hi there tinams,
thank you for the great thoughts and for taking the time to comment.
It is appreciated.
cheers
grant
Comment from Chris Tee
Although with a nostalgic tone, this is an absolutely magic poem that we have here. Well done with this splendid piece. It was a pleasure to read and review this work
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Although with a nostalgic tone, this is an absolutely magic poem that we have here. Well done with this splendid piece. It was a pleasure to read and review this work
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hello Chris Tee,
I am glad that you enjoyed it!
Thanks for commenting.
cheers
grant
Comment from Janice Canerdy
During a lifetime, we all, I suppose, reinvent ourselves several times--some out of necessity, some out of boredom (maybe). This is a very well-written and thought-provoking poem. Also, I like ballad stanza!
grammar: should be "to him" I know the change would mess up the rhyme scheme.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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During a lifetime, we all, I suppose, reinvent ourselves several times--some out of necessity, some out of boredom (maybe). This is a very well-written and thought-provoking poem. Also, I like ballad stanza!
grammar: should be "to him" I know the change would mess up the rhyme scheme.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hi Janice,
thanks for the great comments.
I have a habit of just inventing new rules because I don't like the existing ones. Often I prefer the sound of something and if I think the meaning will carry to the reader then I just do as I want..lol a real rebel I am!! hehe
cheers
grant
Comment from psalmist
This is quite excellent. Terrific flow that glided over the tongue as I read it out loud. Excellent rhyming, and I really like the additional internal rhyme in the third line of each quatrain. I also like the repetition you used in the third line of the first verses. Simply, yet beautifully told, the struggle growing and maturing, yet also the promise and hope of realizing our dreams, becoming all we can be. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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This is quite excellent. Terrific flow that glided over the tongue as I read it out loud. Excellent rhyming, and I really like the additional internal rhyme in the third line of each quatrain. I also like the repetition you used in the third line of the first verses. Simply, yet beautifully told, the struggle growing and maturing, yet also the promise and hope of realizing our dreams, becoming all we can be. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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hi there psalmist,
thankyou very much for your astute comments, I appreciate the thoughts.
cheers
Grant
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
I truly have missed your words, my friend. This is so beautiful, Grant. The rhythm of it is divine. I love the bookends of this piece, very well done. I have to wonder what people will think of those periods and then the lower case on the next lines, I wonder if you might do better with it if you left punctuation out?? I'm thinking that might just be your rebellious spirit at play, ;)
Miss you, my friend.
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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I truly have missed your words, my friend. This is so beautiful, Grant. The rhythm of it is divine. I love the bookends of this piece, very well done. I have to wonder what people will think of those periods and then the lower case on the next lines, I wonder if you might do better with it if you left punctuation out?? I'm thinking that might just be your rebellious spirit at play, ;)
Miss you, my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012
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Hello sweetness!
Yes it seems that you know me only too well hon...
I am trying hard to kick my muse up the bum and will be making an effort to write more this year!
xx
G
