The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "The Cabin"A family learns their father is a serial killer
20 total reviews
Comment from words
I can not imagine going to that cabin alone ... I know that I would not have been able to spend the night by myself.
Our James has quite a bit of grit.
Another engrossing write.
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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I can not imagine going to that cabin alone ... I know that I would not have been able to spend the night by myself.
Our James has quite a bit of grit.
Another engrossing write.
Hugs,d
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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He may be smart but not necessarily wise. He was hunting for answers but had no idea what he would find.
Comment from Alaskastory
'The Cabin' is a perfectly told chapter. It is so gripping, I was riveted. You added fascinated detail, Sasha.
I thought in an early chapter it said Janes and his brother had not been to the cabin in about 5 years instead of the two said here: 'It had been more than two years since my last visit to the cabin..'
Great chapter! Marie
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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'The Cabin' is a perfectly told chapter. It is so gripping, I was riveted. You added fascinated detail, Sasha.
I thought in an early chapter it said Janes and his brother had not been to the cabin in about 5 years instead of the two said here: 'It had been more than two years since my last visit to the cabin..'
Great chapter! Marie
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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It should only be two years, I will go back and correct that if I said 5. I am pleased you found this one gripping.
Comment from Showboat
Ah, Sasha, ya gotta really feel for this kid. Being brilliant doesn't have anything to do with your maturity level and he's just a kid. My stomach was in knots while I read this.
Excellent,
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Ah, Sasha, ya gotta really feel for this kid. Being brilliant doesn't have anything to do with your maturity level and he's just a kid. My stomach was in knots while I read this.
Excellent,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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You are so right. In many ways, it hinders it. Yes, he is just a kid and slowly getting swallowed up in a world beyond his capabilities.
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
This is a tremendous write.
It was obvious something nasty was hiding in that cabin - even so, the revelation came as a complete shock.
James continues to amaze.
Ron
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Hi Smurphy
This is a tremendous write.
It was obvious something nasty was hiding in that cabin - even so, the revelation came as a complete shock.
James continues to amaze.
Ron
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Poor kid is about ready for a complete breakdown. Glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Smurph,
You kept the tension at a feverish pitch and I was on the edge of my seat as I read your words. I was so afraid James would find more bodies and sadly he did. What a shock but then I think he knew somewhere deep inside his mind he expected to find them. His anguish is palpable and I felt it as strong as if it were my own. His cry "Dear Sweet Jesus, will this ever end?" is stunning. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Hi Smurph,
You kept the tension at a feverish pitch and I was on the edge of my seat as I read your words. I was so afraid James would find more bodies and sadly he did. What a shock but then I think he knew somewhere deep inside his mind he expected to find them. His anguish is palpable and I felt it as strong as if it were my own. His cry "Dear Sweet Jesus, will this ever end?" is stunning. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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If it were me, I would be having a heart attack or a well earned breakdown. Glad you like this one and thanks so much for the awesome 6 stars.
Comment from Janie King
oh dear, you can't leave me here very long...and what can this crazy secret be that his mom and aunt won't share..maybe his grandfather was a murder too...Holy Moses..type girl, type and post..I told you have have an overactive imagination. God bless.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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oh dear, you can't leave me here very long...and what can this crazy secret be that his mom and aunt won't share..maybe his grandfather was a murder too...Holy Moses..type girl, type and post..I told you have have an overactive imagination. God bless.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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I am typing as fast as my little fingers will let me. I will post another chapter tomorrow.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You did another wonderful job of writing the emotion and setting up the scene for James to find the bodies. This is really good.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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You did another wonderful job of writing the emotion and setting up the scene for James to find the bodies. This is really good.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Thank you. I am thrilled you liked this one.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha. What a horrifying scene. Good for James he did not pass out and can still call Mac on the phone. Can't wait for the next chapter, I'm sure Mac will scold James...:) Btw, is your computer okay now?
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Hi, Sasha. What a horrifying scene. Good for James he did not pass out and can still call Mac on the phone. Can't wait for the next chapter, I'm sure Mac will scold James...:) Btw, is your computer okay now?
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Juan Ramon has my computer as we speak. I should have it back tomorrow in perfect working order. Oh, yes. Mac is not going to be happy with James.
Comment from c_lucas
Question: Where is James storing all his purchases. I don't believe he has a car available. Where is Charlie and the uncle? Where did James car come from?
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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Question: Where is James storing all his purchases. I don't believe he has a car available. Where is Charlie and the uncle? Where did James car come from?
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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In the previous chapter I mentioned that Uncle Terry was taking Charlie to Victoria for a few days. James is driving his Dad's car. The Humvee.
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That works. I thought the uncle was taking Charlie to the cabin. My error.
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In the original version that's what he did. All three went to the cabin. I changed it in this version.
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Okay. I was confused. Sorry, Charlie
Comment from adewpearl
His vice-like grip - vise-like
hiding something, but - add comma
much more than the basics; - use a colon instead of a semicolon
As I pulled up to the fence, I - add comma
The porch railing laid - lay
Although, I couldn't see - drop the comma
I slowly walk over to see - walked
You build suspense well as James pokes around in the garden
I tried to get up, but - add comma
Horrified, my knees buckled - misplaced modifier - his knees are not horrified
A well-written, emotionally-charged chapter
Brooke
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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His vice-like grip - vise-like
hiding something, but - add comma
much more than the basics; - use a colon instead of a semicolon
As I pulled up to the fence, I - add comma
The porch railing laid - lay
Although, I couldn't see - drop the comma
I slowly walk over to see - walked
You build suspense well as James pokes around in the garden
I tried to get up, but - add comma
Horrified, my knees buckled - misplaced modifier - his knees are not horrified
A well-written, emotionally-charged chapter
Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
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My knees get horrified all the time....lol Thanks for catching the spags and helping with ALL the commas.
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You're a hoot :-)