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The Heir Apparent

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The DA Makes His Announcement"
A family learns their father is a serial killer

20 total reviews 
Comment from Belinda
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Again I can understand why Charlie is disappointed and why the media use their scissors to suit their purpose and their public. Sad, isn't it? James shows how precocious he is in this matter. A thought provoking chapter.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Thanks you so much. I am so pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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I am so involved in the story I'm still angry over the reporters and now I worry about James surviving the cabin. You are setting it out beautifully and I look forward to each chapter.Giddy

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Don't tell anyone, but I am really having fun with this. I may need to take a day off and give my poor brain a break. My apartment looks like a crime scene. I have maps, diagrams, and schematics taped to all the wall above my computer. There is just so much for me to remember that I have had to made myself a cheat sheet. Complain, complain...silly me.
reply by Giddy Nielsen-Sweep on 04-Mar-2012
    It's not a cheat sheet, it's a smart sheet! G
Comment from bookishfabler
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Okay, here I see the background. Thank you.

realizing normal in my family wasn't exactly what I had in mind. (i'm not completely sure, but, this sentence seems off to me, and I can't put my finger on why.

Charlie certainly needed a change of scenery, and a trip to Victoria would be great. But I had other plans.
"I agree, Charlie needs to get away, but I am going to the cabin."
(editor, just move the sentence down)

hope this kinda helps a bit.
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    I agree, that sentenced is confusing. I will go back over it and try to make sense of it.
Comment from Janie King
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Oh dear, there's still this thing with Mary Ellen..the question his dad asked makes me wonder shere she may show up again..this could get grusome...oh dear..type away girl..I hope you post early in the day..reading scary stuff just before bed gives me nightmares. God bless.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    I certainly don't want to cause you bad dreams...so rest assured I generally shy away from gruesome stuff. Not a big fan of blood and gore. Of course, the imagination often fills in the gaps. Glad you continue to enjoy and follow this story.
reply by Janie King on 02-Mar-2012
    that's the problem I have a vivid imagination..I don't need much help to paint a whole scene..haha..god bless.
Comment from hyway94
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Boy this guy is hell on wheels. when he sets his mind to do something you're not going to stop him. I've really been thinking about this story and I don't know if I could turn on my father like that no matter what he did. You just don't stop loving someone that fast.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Most people feel the way you do. I, unfortunately don't. If my father, or any member of my family tortured and murdered 12 people, I would turn them in. I know that sounds harsh, but love just doesn't excuse turning a blind eye...at least that's how I feel.
reply by hyway94 on 02-Mar-2012
    sI think you have the wrong idea. I didn't mean I won't turn him in but I wouldn;t stop loving him either.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Yes, love is a difficult thing to just stop. I guess it would depend on the person and what he did. If my father were Stalin or Hitler, I am not sure I could continue loving him knowing what he had done.
Comment from c_lucas
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(LOL) I have a piss poor memory and had to resort to the dictionary...Eidetic memory. I'm impressed. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    There is a lot of controversy about the reality of eidetic memories. Many believe that some savants such as rain man had one but it is a very difficult thing to prove or disprove.
reply by c_lucas on 02-Mar-2012
    You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from cheyennewy
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Hi Smurph,

I think that despicable man should be hanged by this thumbs until he died. He is manipulating Mr. Douglas and everyone else involved. You have done such a fabulous job in causing your readers to feel emotional in your story. Not everyone can do that. ****** Well done...blessings, chey

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Thank you, thank you. I sincerely appreciate your continued support of this book.
Comment from Tim-San_Diego
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Shows promise.

Excerpt kind of starts in the middle of the action and many attitudes like the narrator's scorn and distrust of her father are unexplained and seem somewhat unnatural. Hopefully flashback scenes and further character development exists earlier on to build the foundation for these. Also... minor point, but found character name "Aunt Em" to be distractingly reminiscent of "Wizard of Oz".

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 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    This is not a stand alone work. It is part of a book which earlier chapters answer all of your questions and addresses all the points you mention. Aunt Em is a nickname for Emily given to her by her sister and family.
Comment from axelbeariter
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However, the local stations were apparently not as pleased with what I had to say. After editing everything out, except the portion where I apologized to the families of the victims, it was finally aired at six o'clock./And of course they would deny media bias. Is it the same in Mexico?----Unlike the public who openly expressed their opinion on what they felt was the appropriate punishment for my father,/I'm not sure if who is correct. That would sound clunky. I'd suggest you get an opinion from a higher authority (unless you know you are right) that you could find on line. Let me know which is the correct word----Charlie certainly needed a change of scenery and a trip to Victoria would be great. But I had other plans.
"I agree, Charlie needs to get away, but I am going to the cabin."
"Why in the world would you want to go there?"
"You know I have an eidetic memory. Mac could use me up there. I remember exactly what the cabin looked like the last time I was there. I could point out any changes or spot things that are different..."
"James, I don't think that's a good idea and besides, I doubt Mac would permit it."
I shook my head. "It's not up for debate, not with you or with Mac."/You need to separate these breakless paragraphs----Another great chapter.



 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Thanks for the suggestions. I 'll check out the correct use of 'who' and see what I come up with. Glad you like the chapter.
Comment from adewpearl
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CBS aired my entire speech, and - add comma
I suspected Mom and Charlie were hoping for life in prison, but - add comma
I viewed it as cruel, and - add comm
Mr. Douglas stood on the top step of the courthouse; exactly - I would use a comma there
You convey James's thoughts about his father most effectively
Charlie certainly needed a change of scenery, and - add comma
Brooke

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 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Thanks for catching the commas...as always. I am pleased you liked this chapter.