Gima The Beginning
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Gima: Escape "fantasy adventure
18 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
Oh BD, are they really free? I known you know if they are. LOL. This story is so complex and I can't believe I am reading it. LOL so very good.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
  |
Oh BD, are they really free? I known you know if they are. LOL. This story is so complex and I can't believe I am reading it. LOL so very good.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
-
They're out of Sadie's. There is so much more to tell. Thank you for the review and sticking with the story.:) BD
Comment from purrfect tale
Funny, I didn't feel a bit sorry for the two guards. I'll be looking forward to finding out how Trell ends up alone when he goes topside.
Notes:
The fore-officer(,) has decided what he wants - comma not needed
Jami(,) leap like cats - comma not needed
Oh, my what a motley sight we all are - move comma from after Oh to after my- Oh my here is treated like one phrase.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
|
Funny, I didn't feel a bit sorry for the two guards. I'll be looking forward to finding out how Trell ends up alone when he goes topside.
Notes:
The fore-officer(,) has decided what he wants - comma not needed
Jami(,) leap like cats - comma not needed
Oh, my what a motley sight we all are - move comma from after Oh to after my- Oh my here is treated like one phrase.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thank you for the typos. I change my thoughts in mid-stream and not my punctuation. LOL Was this chapter boring? I'm thinking someone should have died and I was too much of a coward to sacrifice a character.(the guards are just tokens, not meaningful sacrifices for the 'cause.') Just wondering?:) ellen
-
No, the chapter was perfect the way it is. If you have death and mayhem in every chapter it loses its impact.
-
No one is reviewing it. Lots of looks but few reviews. Something is missing.It's not even as long as the others.
When I meant to kill someone. I meant earlier. I feel that I missed a window and the making of a marter, a hero for future chapters. I'll have to get it in somehow, soon.
Comment from Janie King
I really do a test read of a few lines but I just can't get over the hurdle of this kind of action/violence whatever you want to call it so I'm wimping out again but I don't feel I'm cheating by rating because I know your writing is qualified. God bless.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
|
I really do a test read of a few lines but I just can't get over the hurdle of this kind of action/violence whatever you want to call it so I'm wimping out again but I don't feel I'm cheating by rating because I know your writing is qualified. God bless.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thank you, Janie. I did do two fun poems, but this book is a bit harsh in place.:) love and hugs ellen
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
I should not have enjoyed that - it's not my thing - but I did. Really well written and had me picturing everything that was happening. The dialogue was good and gave a feeling of the guards disgust for the Vertants. Your descriptions are excellent and I will have to read more of this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
 |
I should not have enjoyed that - it's not my thing - but I did. Really well written and had me picturing everything that was happening. The dialogue was good and gave a feeling of the guards disgust for the Vertants. Your descriptions are excellent and I will have to read more of this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Why did you give it a four if you have no corrections. You seemed to only say positive things and want to read more. You enjoyed it. I'm confused as to why it is a four. Please tell me how to improve this to a five. Thank you.:)
Comment from hellion5
Fantastic imagery. Love the thoughts running through the Vertant line.
No spag although I wonder, should the nicknames--weavil head, etc-- be capitilized?
That was all I found.
Great job--
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
|
Fantastic imagery. Love the thoughts running through the Vertant line.
No spag although I wonder, should the nicknames--weavil head, etc-- be capitilized?
That was all I found.
Great job--
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
The phrase weavil head wasn't a nick-name. It was supposed to be like when we call some one butt-head. I guess I should hyphenate it. Thank you for the heads up on that and the generous five star review.
-
I got that, I just couldn't figure out what to call them. Some people capitalize and some don't, so I thought I'd ask, hoping you would know which is correct. I guess you did! Thanks--
-
I did go back in and add the hyphen. Thank you. It should read better now. Great review tip, hellion5.
Comment from livingwords
This continues to be an enthralling piece. You've created such an unusual world and have remained consistent with your characters and actions. You must have a place in your brain that retains this world. Excellent. Dan :))
Can't six ya
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
|
This continues to be an enthralling piece. You've created such an unusual world and have remained consistent with your characters and actions. You must have a place in your brain that retains this world. Excellent. Dan :))
Can't six ya
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
I have lots of worlds in my brain, Dan. LOL It's the real one that I find difficult to relate to. LOL Thank you for the fantastic adjective --'enthralling' -- to describe this chapter, Dan. It's a lovely review.:) ellen
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
An amazing chapter, you've certainly a unique style of your own, which grabs the interest and holds it throughtout.
is "ass" correct, Ellen - over here that's a donky...
arse - just wondering.
The small juicy ones he gulps down whole followed by a wet, snorty sneeze. Finished, he licks his five-fingered paws clean, farts a thank-you and belches a straight toothy smile. - Love these descriptive lines that pop up.
Margaret
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
|
An amazing chapter, you've certainly a unique style of your own, which grabs the interest and holds it throughtout.
is "ass" correct, Ellen - over here that's a donky...
arse - just wondering.
The small juicy ones he gulps down whole followed by a wet, snorty sneeze. Finished, he licks his five-fingered paws clean, farts a thank-you and belches a straight toothy smile. - Love these descriptive lines that pop up.
Margaret
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Hi, Margaret. I thought it is an ass. I'll check. I know that an ass is also a donkey. We don't pronounce it with the 'r' if it is supposed to be spelled arse. I think I'm correct for America though. I like the arse spelling better and Mr. Arnst would probably prefer 'arse.' I see him as sort of a proper gentleman. :) thank you again. I'm almost back to the Valley. Next post!
Comment from James McCorkle
You draw a good word picture of the captives being led away to whatever punishments have been devised for them when giving a loud audience a show of blood. Turning the tables on their not too clever guards certainly proved to be an easy task, and now they are free. No longer en route to Ticum's and the Games. What will they do next? Where will they go? Will they succeed in escaping fully? James McCorkle.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
|
You draw a good word picture of the captives being led away to whatever punishments have been devised for them when giving a loud audience a show of blood. Turning the tables on their not too clever guards certainly proved to be an easy task, and now they are free. No longer en route to Ticum's and the Games. What will they do next? Where will they go? Will they succeed in escaping fully? James McCorkle.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
-
Thank you for your questions and review. The answers are written but not yet posted. LOL I have 25K words to go. This was a partial chapter for FS readers. The other half will be up as soon as I earn some posting money. I do appreciate your reading and spending the time to write a review. :) barking dog
-
Keep sharing you gift of writing. It will boost your own morale too. James.
-
Thank you.:)BD
-
A pleasure to enjoy a good read always. James.
-
Just keep tapping those keys and wonder at the results. James.
-
I've lost momentum the past couple days. And I have to review to post again. I try to give full reviews and it makes me very tired mentally but I feel if someone writes a piece that they deserve a helpful response. Dumb I guess when so many reviews are careless fluff or cut and paste. Your review showed me that you really read it and what you wanted to know. That is helpful. So many look and don't review. I even made this post short and paid more money. I'll not do that again. I hate cutting a chapter. The second half always seems incomplete when it's posted later. It is because it's detached from a continuous flow of thought. Oh, well. I'm new to this place and learning. That counts for a lot. Most of the FS writers are very helpful. Thank you for your replys.:)BD
-
When I review I read and try to feel what the writer is endeavouring to say. It's the only fair way to go. As you say some folks just cut and paste. Chat's cheating. James.
-
JUst keep writing and checking your efforts. Anything goes here, and it is worldwide, so you can reach away out and touch someone. James.