High-Tick For Dummies
An almost true story55 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
Oh, I'm so glad I found this one and I apologize for being so late to review it. You had me laughing almost immediately but I was trying NOT to quote everything until this gem: "For two days I watched half a dozen football games and ate all my meals from my glorious new laptop. On the third day, I discovered the damn thing could be opened, and lo and be told, my dinner tray was a genuine computer!"
HILARIOUS!! "Well, in case you haven't already tried it, let me warn you that laptops make lousy waffle irons." I thought this line was a little too stupid or too much perhaps, after the really good previous guffaw. Just a thought. "I picked it up, and sure enough, the TV part was all lit up with these cute, colorful little doodads. I stared at them for a long time. That was really fun and educational. Then it was time for dinner." HaHaHa. Pretty silly stuff, but I enjoyed it Lee. I loved the whole "Italian" to "Boldish" bit. I'm still laughing.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Oh, I'm so glad I found this one and I apologize for being so late to review it. You had me laughing almost immediately but I was trying NOT to quote everything until this gem: "For two days I watched half a dozen football games and ate all my meals from my glorious new laptop. On the third day, I discovered the damn thing could be opened, and lo and be told, my dinner tray was a genuine computer!"
HILARIOUS!! "Well, in case you haven't already tried it, let me warn you that laptops make lousy waffle irons." I thought this line was a little too stupid or too much perhaps, after the really good previous guffaw. Just a thought. "I picked it up, and sure enough, the TV part was all lit up with these cute, colorful little doodads. I stared at them for a long time. That was really fun and educational. Then it was time for dinner." HaHaHa. Pretty silly stuff, but I enjoyed it Lee. I loved the whole "Italian" to "Boldish" bit. I'm still laughing.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Jude. Yes, it is silly stuff, and once I get silly, I always go over the top. It felt good to write something inane.
I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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Oh, I understand completely!! Well, I'm off to have my tooth pulled. YIKES
Comment from viaux
This is the funniest thing I've read on this site yet. But it is FICTION. By the way, up until about five years ago, I was still typing on my mother's old Hermes until my kids objected--saying I needed to join today's world, and it is so much easier using a laptop, isn't it?
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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This is the funniest thing I've read on this site yet. But it is FICTION. By the way, up until about five years ago, I was still typing on my mother's old Hermes until my kids objected--saying I needed to join today's world, and it is so much easier using a laptop, isn't it?
Comment Written 25-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Thank you, vaiux. And you're right, I edit myself constantly as I write, and with a word processor, I just couldn't do it. I'm glad we both caught up to some of the high-tick stuff. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Tillom Gliss
I know that when I meditate, exercise or eat right regularly that I feel lighter, stronger, better, faster, wiser, cooler, smarter (okay not wiser and cooler but definitely smarter) yet I don't...do those things...regularly, that is. They're good for me, I know it, but I don't. That goes the same for reading your work, Lee. After reading it I feel better, stronger, lighter, wiser and cooler, yet, I don't come by often enough! This was a shot of bee pollen at the end of a bland day and I thank you, once again, for sharing with us all your gift.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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I know that when I meditate, exercise or eat right regularly that I feel lighter, stronger, better, faster, wiser, cooler, smarter (okay not wiser and cooler but definitely smarter) yet I don't...do those things...regularly, that is. They're good for me, I know it, but I don't. That goes the same for reading your work, Lee. After reading it I feel better, stronger, lighter, wiser and cooler, yet, I don't come by often enough! This was a shot of bee pollen at the end of a bland day and I thank you, once again, for sharing with us all your gift.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Ah, Jo, I don't know how you could possibly be cooler or wiser.
I'm delighted to hear from you any time you can stop by.
Thank you for this really sweet and generous review. I hope all is well with you. Peace, Lee
Comment from IndianaIrish
Your wonderful sense of humor is always a treat ... kinda like an all-day sucker. I love all your Leeisms and can never get enough. Anyone over the age of 40 and who has no life, understands how these dabnabbit things work. You can always place an ad for a cute young thing to come over to give you lessons. I'm sure a few minutes of computer foreplay and you might pick up some pointers. I am however surprised and disappointed that you didn't try to use your laptop for a lapdance...not by you, silly, by the girls down at the club.
Fun read and I enjoyed the laughs you gave me.
Indy
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Your wonderful sense of humor is always a treat ... kinda like an all-day sucker. I love all your Leeisms and can never get enough. Anyone over the age of 40 and who has no life, understands how these dabnabbit things work. You can always place an ad for a cute young thing to come over to give you lessons. I'm sure a few minutes of computer foreplay and you might pick up some pointers. I am however surprised and disappointed that you didn't try to use your laptop for a lapdance...not by you, silly, by the girls down at the club.
Fun read and I enjoyed the laughs you gave me.
Indy
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much, Indy. Pointers? I'm glad you enjoyed. I tried to get it to dance on my lap, but it just sat on it.
And it can't climb a pole, neither. Thanks again, Peace, Lee
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Yeah you know pointers ... Like Seger says "points sitting way up high"
Comment from writer c
Lee, I'm spitting chuckles out over this one. I swear, I love one good riff after another, but crimmy, give me time to take a breath! Love the Asiago flourishes..gotta know the accordian and frommage for this one (for the former, Lawrence Welk every weekend as a kid). When you post, I read all the reviews because you add more humor there, and there are some damn site funny people who respond. I'm glad to see this funny piece from you, dear one. Hugs
Carol
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Lee, I'm spitting chuckles out over this one. I swear, I love one good riff after another, but crimmy, give me time to take a breath! Love the Asiago flourishes..gotta know the accordian and frommage for this one (for the former, Lawrence Welk every weekend as a kid). When you post, I read all the reviews because you add more humor there, and there are some damn site funny people who respond. I'm glad to see this funny piece from you, dear one. Hugs
Carol
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Sis! You're the only one who mentioned the 'cheesy' flourishes!
Accordians and cheese? C'mon! Myron Floren, right? Yeah, Carol, I needed to write some nonsense. I'm delighted you stopped by, and had a chuckle or two. I know I missed at least one of your posts. Sorry. I'm getting my balance back. Thanks, Carol.
Peace, Lee.
Comment from BethShelby
LOL This is Humpwhistle at it's best. I think you're quite literate in space age technology, but every line held a new chuckle. Still some of it rings true, at least for me. I never bothered learning how to program a remote and my new I-pad hasn't been opened many times. The Elements program I thought I had to have to edit my photos is so much gibberish it gives me a headache just thinking about it. The machine I bought to convert old LPs to CDs is still in the box after three years. I figure if we wait long enough, everything will be voice controlled and we can just give the command it and it will happen automatically.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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LOL This is Humpwhistle at it's best. I think you're quite literate in space age technology, but every line held a new chuckle. Still some of it rings true, at least for me. I never bothered learning how to program a remote and my new I-pad hasn't been opened many times. The Elements program I thought I had to have to edit my photos is so much gibberish it gives me a headache just thinking about it. The machine I bought to convert old LPs to CDs is still in the box after three years. I figure if we wait long enough, everything will be voice controlled and we can just give the command it and it will happen automatically.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Beth. I truly am the anti-geek. I use my laptop as a typewriter that magically faxes. Beyond that, my computer laughs at me. Thanks again, Beth. Peace, Lee
Comment from Realist101
Hi Lee! This is a bravely written, (as you mentioned the unmentionables! reminding me of the 'truck balls' my son has hanging from the back bumper of his big old truck, for criminy's sake)-- and funny post, I hurt again (not badly, just a little) ... trying to hold my gut as I had to laugh at this. :) This would make a great skit on Sat. Night Live. I wish I had a laptop! I could save my back by sitting somewhere comfortable! FS needs a post like this every day. Wish I had a six for you too! x. Susan
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Hi Lee! This is a bravely written, (as you mentioned the unmentionables! reminding me of the 'truck balls' my son has hanging from the back bumper of his big old truck, for criminy's sake)-- and funny post, I hurt again (not badly, just a little) ... trying to hold my gut as I had to laugh at this. :) This would make a great skit on Sat. Night Live. I wish I had a laptop! I could save my back by sitting somewhere comfortable! FS needs a post like this every day. Wish I had a six for you too! x. Susan
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Hey, Suse. I'm glad you enjoyed this, but I hope I didn't cause you any pain. The funny thin, Susan, my laptop need an external modem (which is not portable), so I'm pretty much chained down, too. Thank you. Peace, Lee
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OH? So, I can't get a laptop and just go around and sit where I'm comfortable??? NOT good. I wanted to try exchanging this desktop for one...I hurt just having to sit on this hard chair for hours. And any little ache from laughing Lee, is so worth it to read your hilarious escapades. Such fun...."High Tick" WHO but you could think of that?? LOL! S.
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Most laptops have internal modems, Suse. You just need to have your internet provider give you wireless service. Then you'll be good to go wherever you want. I can use my laptop in other locations, but I can't access the net unless I'm plugged into my modem. Mine is a cheap laptop---but it plays the hell out of Lady of Spain. Lee
Comment from Cooper Watt
Fun story, brother.
Irreverent and humorous -- definitely your winning combination.
I question the phrase hunting & poking. Where I come from it hunt & peck, not hunt & poke -- but tomAto, tomAHto....
Also, not sure I like this: Heck, what would Mortimer Snerd need with a computer, anyway? But I leafed through it anyway. <-- the double use of "anyway" is distracting. You might try to re-word the second sentence, or simply dump the first anyway.... Anyway, it's to you.
It's so easy to picture an older feller looking at a laptop computer and thinking: What the jumpin' jimminy jesus is that?! Funny stuff.
Talk to you soon,
Coop.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Fun story, brother.
Irreverent and humorous -- definitely your winning combination.
I question the phrase hunting & poking. Where I come from it hunt & peck, not hunt & poke -- but tomAto, tomAHto....
Also, not sure I like this: Heck, what would Mortimer Snerd need with a computer, anyway? But I leafed through it anyway. <-- the double use of "anyway" is distracting. You might try to re-word the second sentence, or simply dump the first anyway.... Anyway, it's to you.
It's so easy to picture an older feller looking at a laptop computer and thinking: What the jumpin' jimminy jesus is that?! Funny stuff.
Talk to you soon,
Coop.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Hey, Coop! Sometimes I can't help myself. You're right about 'anyway', and I fixed it. I went with hunt & poke just because everybody expects peck---I'm a contrarian. Glad you enjoyed, man. Peace, Lee
Comment from dbmccarter
I am giving you the six stars because this really spoke to me and I didn't even have to turn the computer upside down. Now I know what age group you are in. I have a Dummies book too and I'm still too dumb for it. Usually I learn something from something else I did wrong. Great fun with a lot of truth. I hate to get personal, but could you explain "decorative testicles" or not.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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I am giving you the six stars because this really spoke to me and I didn't even have to turn the computer upside down. Now I know what age group you are in. I have a Dummies book too and I'm still too dumb for it. Usually I learn something from something else I did wrong. Great fun with a lot of truth. I hate to get personal, but could you explain "decorative testicles" or not.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Thank you so much, dbmccarter, for this galaxy of stars. About my testicles, you've seen Christmas ornaments, right...
Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment from FlamingSpade
Wonderful and applies to me, too. Half of the stuff I don't want to post gets posted before ready and others I want to post get tossed aside. It is a necessity I'm afraid. I have sim type in photo that was left to me by grandmother. Nice
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Wonderful and applies to me, too. Half of the stuff I don't want to post gets posted before ready and others I want to post get tossed aside. It is a necessity I'm afraid. I have sim type in photo that was left to me by grandmother. Nice
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2012
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Thank you, FlamingSpade. I'm pleased to know I'm not the only anti-geek. Peace, Lee