Gima The Beginning
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Gima: Trell and Booth # 11"fantasy adventure
16 total reviews
Comment from Gerry.Robertson
Hmmm as one who wrote a short peice about taking over Hell, I think maybe I got the easier down under. Really would not like to meet Sadie! However I feel I must read more. It has been a while since I read this kind of material, close to 30yrs actually... For some reason it reminds me of Julian May's work, The Golden Torc, or am I of line, as I said a long time. Was a enjoyable read and one that is indeed titilating, though maybe not before bed time lol.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Hmmm as one who wrote a short peice about taking over Hell, I think maybe I got the easier down under. Really would not like to meet Sadie! However I feel I must read more. It has been a while since I read this kind of material, close to 30yrs actually... For some reason it reminds me of Julian May's work, The Golden Torc, or am I of line, as I said a long time. Was a enjoyable read and one that is indeed titilating, though maybe not before bed time lol.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you Gerry for reading and review. I love your comments. No one seems to want to meet Sadie. Poor Vermel. :) Part 2 is posting soon. I had to split the chapter in half for FS. Again thank you for your time in reading and reviewing this.:)barking dog
Comment from c_lucas
Erotic houses are available, even in outer space. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Erotic houses are available, even in outer space. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you, Charlie for your kind words. I left out a great deal in order to post on FS. But this gives the general gist of what Sadie's is all about. I am hoping that the readers can fill in the blanks with their own imaginations. I find graphic descriptions often unnecessary. Our minds can create the omitted horrors. :) ellen
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You're welcome, Ellen. You have chose the right path. Charlie
Comment from irishauthorme
It was a pleasure to read this well-grounded story. Your descriptions of the locations and the characters are full and satisfying. Anyone offended by your imaginative writing should just go read something else. Sadie is a proper villain, suited to running her pleasure house.
Good structure, way above average for fantasy.
irish
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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It was a pleasure to read this well-grounded story. Your descriptions of the locations and the characters are full and satisfying. Anyone offended by your imaginative writing should just go read something else. Sadie is a proper villain, suited to running her pleasure house.
Good structure, way above average for fantasy.
irish
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your fine words in review. I'm glad you find Sadie a 'proper villian' and that the descriptions are satisfying. Were you able to fill in the blanks as to what is going on in this place? I wanted the reader's imagination to fill in the horrors that Trell and the other's experienced. Thank you again, irish :) ellen
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I was impressed by the detail you have intiated into the chapters of your story, I read them all. You paint a great picture of where, and who, the characters are.
I also liked the 'nitty gritty' sex and violence. To me those additions add needed reality to your tale. Too many fantasy stories are written for a younger audience who is not supposed to know anything about sex or profanity-and who are they kidding? It would take work and editing, but your story would make a great movie. Cheers, irish
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Wow, you went back and read all of those first(not so good) chapters. Thank you for candidly telling me what you thought of them. I laid back a bit on these last two with Trell at Sadies because of some of the responses here. I can always add more descriptive scenes in later, but it seems that their imaginations are doing a good job of filling in the blanks. I guess most folks thing this type story is only for young kids like what? ten. LOL Kids now a days know everything and it would be lame to not have the 'nitty gritty.' I would love to have a publisher say it'd make a good movie. That is a thrilling thought. I just started writing seven months ago and this is my first try a novel/book. Shit, I am just learning how to punctuate. LOL Again, thank you for your comments.
Now, how does this get to be a movie? LOL 'Trell's Memories(part 2) is about ready to post. Still, editing for a smooth read and continuity with these new Vermel vocabulary words.
Comment from litroc1700
very nice, though this chapter may not have been the best its stil pretty good thank you for the great works, warm regard litroc1700
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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very nice, though this chapter may not have been the best its stil pretty good thank you for the great works, warm regard litroc1700
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your review, litroc1700.
Comment from purrfect tale
mold-blossom oil,? - OMG, I've only read the first line and I'm LMAO. Have to control myself to continue reading. Oh no, Sadie wants to go see upper-earth. I wouldn't want to be around when she showed up. I'm enjoying this look back at Trell's life.
Notes:
You are to do as the viewer's request(,)
prime-cut ready for display(,)
For her age(,) she is alluring
By law(,) they must believe the dictates of the State's Ministerial Office(,)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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mold-blossom oil,? - OMG, I've only read the first line and I'm LMAO. Have to control myself to continue reading. Oh no, Sadie wants to go see upper-earth. I wouldn't want to be around when she showed up. I'm enjoying this look back at Trell's life.
Notes:
You are to do as the viewer's request(,)
prime-cut ready for display(,)
For her age(,) she is alluring
By law(,) they must believe the dictates of the State's Ministerial Office(,)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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It is a crazy world down there. What? You don't want to meet Sadie? She might be a lot of fun if she ever finds her cobra that is. LOL Thank you for the corrections. I never get them all. :) barking dog
Comment from Gungalo
Whew BD, it is really a great story in that it takes us through the underworld of the civilization. The haunts these peopel frequent are wild and carefree. The poor boys, To be used so. Sigh....
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Whew BD, it is really a great story in that it takes us through the underworld of the civilization. The haunts these peopel frequent are wild and carefree. The poor boys, To be used so. Sigh....
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2012
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Thank you for my first review on this chapter. It's nice to know that this is only a dream/memory. Its a bad place, he came from. I'm hoping that the reader's own mind will fill in the perversions and for some that might make it more horrifying that if I describe the goings ons. From your last comment, it sounds like you mind did that:)Have a bright Sunday, G. :)BD
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Mais oui! It's a chapter that invites that sort of thing BD!!!