Reflections For The New Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "It Was In The Simple Things"25 total reviews
Comment from Laurie Clayton
And what an absolutely stunning
result, such wonderful imagergy,
especially those you create of a child
and her mother, the collecting of weeds
to give as a gift, such vivid truths.
Very nicely composed.
Laurie
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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And what an absolutely stunning
result, such wonderful imagergy,
especially those you create of a child
and her mother, the collecting of weeds
to give as a gift, such vivid truths.
Very nicely composed.
Laurie
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks!
Comment from fastdigits
With quill and ink you whisper
such delights, a blanket of gold
for a sunflower field, what imaginary
beauty you bring to the screen with
words that have voice, coming from
deep inside you, thoughts that were
unheard, now flowering and nurtured
with the voice of a true poet.
Well done
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
 |
With quill and ink you whisper
such delights, a blanket of gold
for a sunflower field, what imaginary
beauty you bring to the screen with
words that have voice, coming from
deep inside you, thoughts that were
unheard, now flowering and nurtured
with the voice of a true poet.
Well done
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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What a precious review. You warmed my heart. Thank you.
Comment from rama devi
second review
Thanks for letting me know you fixed spags. I forgot to mentiojn i love the right side justification of the text. Nice.
First review (FOUR stars)
Great free verse with wonderfully extended metaphor and fine imagery--tone, theme and imagery all cohere well. good flow and phrasing, except for a spot or two--like in first stanza:
Buried treasures
sit tightly nestled
beneath my creative journal,
today, I'll call a tomb stone.
I read this aloud and it feels slightly bumpy in the last two lines. Suggest revising. Also, I think tombstone is one word.
More observations, including both applause and suggestions-
*
once moist
Suggest hyphen-
once-moist
Traveling forward
along my creative journey,
I know treasured truth
must be derived from Life.
Yes, very true--and it is evident in your poems, too.
Viewing a sunflower field
blanketed in gold,
I see a robed chorus,
faces turned upward
and arms reaching
toward a periwinkle sky.
See what I mean? The above stanza is exquisite! A robed chorus! Brilliant.
Recalling days of yester-years (yesteryear,)
This is sweet (Also-note one spag:)
handfulls (handfuls) of weeds
to lovingly give
my momma.
This is wonderfully descriptive and depicts the scene well:
Her thankful smile
taught me gratitude
for the simpler things,
calmer days and sincere love,
as she hummed choruses
and snapped linen on the line,
while summer closed her doors and
harvest sang a victory song.
AWESOME line-harvest sang a victory song
Lovely conclusion:
A blessing has emerged today-
As I gave up the search
for hidden gold,
opened the eyes of my heart
and found it was here
all along~
Yes indeed!
This poem has originality and insight. Enjoyed it. Needs some fine tuning, thus the rating,. Happy to amend when fixed.
Nice presentation as well.
lOVE YA,
rd
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
|
second review
Thanks for letting me know you fixed spags. I forgot to mentiojn i love the right side justification of the text. Nice.
First review (FOUR stars)
Great free verse with wonderfully extended metaphor and fine imagery--tone, theme and imagery all cohere well. good flow and phrasing, except for a spot or two--like in first stanza:
Buried treasures
sit tightly nestled
beneath my creative journal,
today, I'll call a tomb stone.
I read this aloud and it feels slightly bumpy in the last two lines. Suggest revising. Also, I think tombstone is one word.
More observations, including both applause and suggestions-
*
once moist
Suggest hyphen-
once-moist
Traveling forward
along my creative journey,
I know treasured truth
must be derived from Life.
Yes, very true--and it is evident in your poems, too.
Viewing a sunflower field
blanketed in gold,
I see a robed chorus,
faces turned upward
and arms reaching
toward a periwinkle sky.
See what I mean? The above stanza is exquisite! A robed chorus! Brilliant.
Recalling days of yester-years (yesteryear,)
This is sweet (Also-note one spag:)
handfulls (handfuls) of weeds
to lovingly give
my momma.
This is wonderfully descriptive and depicts the scene well:
Her thankful smile
taught me gratitude
for the simpler things,
calmer days and sincere love,
as she hummed choruses
and snapped linen on the line,
while summer closed her doors and
harvest sang a victory song.
AWESOME line-harvest sang a victory song
Lovely conclusion:
A blessing has emerged today-
As I gave up the search
for hidden gold,
opened the eyes of my heart
and found it was here
all along~
Yes indeed!
This poem has originality and insight. Enjoyed it. Needs some fine tuning, thus the rating,. Happy to amend when fixed.
Nice presentation as well.
lOVE YA,
rd
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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I made the edits.I thank you rd for the heads up. I should have caught those spags but I love you for finding them for me! haha. I appreciate you and your review. Glad you enjoyed it nevertheless.
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Thanks dear--made a second review. Love, rd
Comment from HPicasso
A most beautiful poem with a wonderful message. Lovely image, imagery an metaphor. Good poem and I love the field of sunflowers.. Exquisite artwork. In culture the sunflower is the national flower of Russia, Peru and Ukraine and the state flower of the US state of Kansas.
Thanks for sharing your creativity! Congratulation!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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A most beautiful poem with a wonderful message. Lovely image, imagery an metaphor. Good poem and I love the field of sunflowers.. Exquisite artwork. In culture the sunflower is the national flower of Russia, Peru and Ukraine and the state flower of the US state of Kansas.
Thanks for sharing your creativity! Congratulation!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks H P
Comment from waihekebach
Beautifully written poetry Jewell.
The sunflowers are stunning and yes they would be inspiring.
A pleasure to read.
Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Beautifully written poetry Jewell.
The sunflowers are stunning and yes they would be inspiring.
A pleasure to read.
Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks, waihebach.
Comment from bluerose675
Oh Jewell this is just beautiful! I loved every word of it and the visuals are wonderful. I don't think you have writer's block at all ;) This really touched me for some reason, maybe it's the way I'm feeling at the moment, or maybe it's just that I could relate to it so much. I love the picture you chose :)Well done!!!
Norma :)
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Oh Jewell this is just beautiful! I loved every word of it and the visuals are wonderful. I don't think you have writer's block at all ;) This really touched me for some reason, maybe it's the way I'm feeling at the moment, or maybe it's just that I could relate to it so much. I love the picture you chose :)Well done!!!
Norma :)
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Norma you certainly bless me with your review!
I started this poem with writer's block, and thought it was going to be rather dark
I had no idea where this would go!
With no changes, I posted, as is. How funny that it's been such a hit.
Thanks SO much!
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Inspiration came like a whirlwind. Very lovely free verse poem. I love the reflective quality of the lines. I love the mention of the Lord,the memories of Momma. Your final revelation of the true wealth we find in our hearts and life.Very well written.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Inspiration came like a whirlwind. Very lovely free verse poem. I love the reflective quality of the lines. I love the mention of the Lord,the memories of Momma. Your final revelation of the true wealth we find in our hearts and life.Very well written.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks, so much!
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Jj,
This is one of your best poem and that is saying a lot. I love the theme and expressive words. I love...toward a periwinkle sky and wish I had thought of it first. I hate to pick a favorite line as I like them all. A most beautiful poem with a wonderful message. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Hi Jj,
This is one of your best poem and that is saying a lot. I love the theme and expressive words. I love...toward a periwinkle sky and wish I had thought of it first. I hate to pick a favorite line as I like them all. A most beautiful poem with a wonderful message. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 26-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Aaaaw chey, but you thonk of ALL the good lines already! Thanks so very much!
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You are so welcome!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, jewell, great job writing this poem about the inspiration that dug you out of your writer's block and set you on a course of wonderful words
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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this is very well written, jewell, great job writing this poem about the inspiration that dug you out of your writer's block and set you on a course of wonderful words
Comment Written 25-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you jax!
Comment from missy98writer
Jewell,
I'm always inspired by music or a song. Your poem is superbly written. You did a great job of writing lines that accommodate the poetic structure without being forced. Excellent word structure and effective metaphor cap off your poem. Your did a very good job using alliteration: "treasured truth." Lines I liked: "Viewing a sunflower field blanketed in gold, I see a robed chorus, faces turned upward and arms reaching toward a periwinkle sky." I enjoyed your phrases: "along my creative journey, derived from life, I danced in autumn's fragrant revelry, sung a victory song, say a prayer of thanks for buried memories, watch with anticipation's wonder, as I gave up the search for hidden gold and opened the eyes of my heart." What a poignant and moving poem on a poets search for her memories of her mother. The art work you used of the sunflowers is exquisite. Your poem is top notch. I'd recommend this poem to other reviewers and lovers of the written word: Thanks for sharing your creativity have a nice day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2011
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Jewell,
I'm always inspired by music or a song. Your poem is superbly written. You did a great job of writing lines that accommodate the poetic structure without being forced. Excellent word structure and effective metaphor cap off your poem. Your did a very good job using alliteration: "treasured truth." Lines I liked: "Viewing a sunflower field blanketed in gold, I see a robed chorus, faces turned upward and arms reaching toward a periwinkle sky." I enjoyed your phrases: "along my creative journey, derived from life, I danced in autumn's fragrant revelry, sung a victory song, say a prayer of thanks for buried memories, watch with anticipation's wonder, as I gave up the search for hidden gold and opened the eyes of my heart." What a poignant and moving poem on a poets search for her memories of her mother. The art work you used of the sunflowers is exquisite. Your poem is top notch. I'd recommend this poem to other reviewers and lovers of the written word: Thanks for sharing your creativity have a nice day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2011
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Missy dear, you've blessed my socks off with this review! You're the best!