Old Decrepit Woman Revised.
Written about a painting I saw.177 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
What a wonderful photograph of the old decrepit woman. This is a somewhat sad story/poem, very descriptive and well written. I liked the way that you wrote the poem around Poseidon. I know we cannot avoid death, it is the way that it comes. Wonderful writing.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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What a wonderful photograph of the old decrepit woman. This is a somewhat sad story/poem, very descriptive and well written. I liked the way that you wrote the poem around Poseidon. I know we cannot avoid death, it is the way that it comes. Wonderful writing.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Aussie.
Comment from Jowsza
Wow! While reading the poem there's a question that keeps on bugging me... "Did the poet wrote this for someone?" And your note answered my question. Surprisingly you just got the idea out of a painting. You're a real artist! Good job on this one!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Wow! While reading the poem there's a question that keeps on bugging me... "Did the poet wrote this for someone?" And your note answered my question. Surprisingly you just got the idea out of a painting. You're a real artist! Good job on this one!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you JM.
Comment from Tomoso
Yes, an interesting poem with a wonderful,vivid piece of artwork accompanying it. I liked: "Old decrepit woman, here comes putrid Poseidon.
Poor Daughter of Eve, prepare yourself for death."
The author's notes did help explain what an Ekphrastic piece of art was,otherwise I was lost.
Thanks for the read
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Yes, an interesting poem with a wonderful,vivid piece of artwork accompanying it. I liked: "Old decrepit woman, here comes putrid Poseidon.
Poor Daughter of Eve, prepare yourself for death."
The author's notes did help explain what an Ekphrastic piece of art was,otherwise I was lost.
Thanks for the read
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Tomoso.
Comment from ulster3
Hello, Justin.
This is a great work of art on a work of art. You acknowledge that this woman is old and decrepit, but at the same time you speak of her in a reverent way. It is not flattering to be old and decrepit, but yet you make her lovely...even as she approaches her death.
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Hello, Justin.
This is a great work of art on a work of art. You acknowledge that this woman is old and decrepit, but at the same time you speak of her in a reverent way. It is not flattering to be old and decrepit, but yet you make her lovely...even as she approaches her death.
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Rebecca.
Comment from cheery blossom
Hey. Were you writting about me? I am 91 yeard old, but I don't feel like this lady at all. I am still trying to go strong and I love life- My body is wearing out, my mind don't think as well as it once did.but my feelings tells me I am still alive and ready for whatever. I do like3 your poem, It is well written and does paint an accurate picture of the very old. (except for me, ha ha).The six stars is because your poem hit the nail on the heaD. Cheery.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Hey. Were you writting about me? I am 91 yeard old, but I don't feel like this lady at all. I am still trying to go strong and I love life- My body is wearing out, my mind don't think as well as it once did.but my feelings tells me I am still alive and ready for whatever. I do like3 your poem, It is well written and does paint an accurate picture of the very old. (except for me, ha ha).The six stars is because your poem hit the nail on the heaD. Cheery.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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thank you Cheery.
Comment from Nanette Tron
This is an interesting piece written about a fictitious Mexican women. I am an American with Hispanic descent. I am thankful for my American upbringing after reading this Mexican piece. Thank you for making me thankful and making
me think . I give you three thumbs up from Nanette.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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This is an interesting piece written about a fictitious Mexican women. I am an American with Hispanic descent. I am thankful for my American upbringing after reading this Mexican piece. Thank you for making me thankful and making
me think . I give you three thumbs up from Nanette.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Nanette but you only gave me two.
Comment from DALLAS01
Thanks for the author notes for clarification. Some great lines here. Just one question re the line below:
Still shivering in your silence as you hold your bruised and beaten baby (is she too old to have a baby?
Like a raisin losing its breath. (this is great metaphor)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thanks for the author notes for clarification. Some great lines here. Just one question re the line below:
Still shivering in your silence as you hold your bruised and beaten baby (is she too old to have a baby?
Like a raisin losing its breath. (this is great metaphor)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Dallas. The baby is her grand child.
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Gotcha
Comment from Paradox Tremors
A great piece of work my friend. And until today, I didn't know what a "Ekprhastic" poem was until now. I feel for the old woman as the innocent ones are the first to die. Keep up the great work my friend.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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A great piece of work my friend. And until today, I didn't know what a "Ekprhastic" poem was until now. I feel for the old woman as the innocent ones are the first to die. Keep up the great work my friend.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you paradox.
Comment from boberto
I think I dated her a few years back--they all get better looking at closing time.
There are times I like repetition--often use it myself. Still haven't decided if I like it used as much as you have in this verse. I do like the descriptions and analogies. They paint a vivid verbal picture.
boberto
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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I think I dated her a few years back--they all get better looking at closing time.
There are times I like repetition--often use it myself. Still haven't decided if I like it used as much as you have in this verse. I do like the descriptions and analogies. They paint a vivid verbal picture.
boberto
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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thank you boberto.
Welcome.
Comment from Rama Rao
A very moving poem which made good reading. This is a new structure rarely seen in this site. You used the word Mexican sands= but the artwork shows a woman of South Asia. I am ready to bet my bottom dollar she may be Indian.
Of course this has nothing to do with the poem, and it'd be better to change the artwork to complement your poem. Just to avoid conflicting thoughts in the reader.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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A very moving poem which made good reading. This is a new structure rarely seen in this site. You used the word Mexican sands= but the artwork shows a woman of South Asia. I am ready to bet my bottom dollar she may be Indian.
Of course this has nothing to do with the poem, and it'd be better to change the artwork to complement your poem. Just to avoid conflicting thoughts in the reader.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2011
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Thank you Ramarao.