Reflections For The New Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Art of Loveliness"15 total reviews
Comment from suneagle
An intriguing poem to me, but perhaps not for the reasons you intended. I was firstly distracted by the odd use of "Obsolete" followed by words that seemed to have nothing to do with obsolete. A semi-colon is meant "to separate closely related independent clauses". (http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/semicolon.htm) However, I perceive no such relationship at the beginning of your poem. Quite the contrary.
Another factor that concerned me was the use of "expel" in the second last line. Did you mean, 'extol'?
Otherwise your poem was beautiful in word choice and imagery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
   |
An intriguing poem to me, but perhaps not for the reasons you intended. I was firstly distracted by the odd use of "Obsolete" followed by words that seemed to have nothing to do with obsolete. A semi-colon is meant "to separate closely related independent clauses". (http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/semicolon.htm) However, I perceive no such relationship at the beginning of your poem. Quite the contrary.
Another factor that concerned me was the use of "expel" in the second last line. Did you mean, 'extol'?
Otherwise your poem was beautiful in word choice and imagery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2004
Comment from MoonRays
This is amazingly beautiful. I agree with you, that a truly lovely person makes others around her beautiful also.
"Obsolete; delightful in beauty, " -- I don't understand how the person in this poem is obsolete, because that's kind of a derogatory term for me, and everything else is glowing praise.
|
This is amazingly beautiful. I agree with you, that a truly lovely person makes others around her beautiful also.
"Obsolete; delightful in beauty, " -- I don't understand how the person in this poem is obsolete, because that's kind of a derogatory term for me, and everything else is glowing praise.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2004
Comment from El Romantico
When it comes to your work I don't even know what to say anymore. Here is my favorite part: Learn from the lovely one. Allow her to take you captive,
instead of running away inferior, so that she may show you how you too may have the gift of loveliness." Learning is a never ending journey. Being taken captive is an honor. Running away should not be an option. The gift of loveliness can only come from within but can be revealed by the love of someone special. I can see that there is still hope for me to learn loveliness from you. Thank you for being so talented.
|
When it comes to your work I don't even know what to say anymore. Here is my favorite part: Learn from the lovely one. Allow her to take you captive,
instead of running away inferior, so that she may show you how you too may have the gift of loveliness." Learning is a never ending journey. Being taken captive is an honor. Running away should not be an option. The gift of loveliness can only come from within but can be revealed by the love of someone special. I can see that there is still hope for me to learn loveliness from you. Thank you for being so talented.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2004
Comment from genielassie
beautiful, very descriptive poem. It appears as if it is a white rose that is the focus of the poem, which makes it more lovely to me as that is favorite color of rose. Best wishes... ~Jean~
|
beautiful, very descriptive poem. It appears as if it is a white rose that is the focus of the poem, which makes it more lovely to me as that is favorite color of rose. Best wishes... ~Jean~
Comment Written 28-Nov-2004
Comment from Curlyrider
LOL, okay, listen to this. I mis-read the title of the poem and the author's notes (yeah, pretty stupid, I know). I thought you were talking about "lonliness" and not "loveliness". Crazy, huh? So I'm reading this poem thinking you're nuts, that the girl sure doesn't sounds lonley, quite the opposite. So I'm an idiot and you're a good writer. Wow, I need to get more sleep.
-Curly
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
LOL, okay, listen to this. I mis-read the title of the poem and the author's notes (yeah, pretty stupid, I know). I thought you were talking about "lonliness" and not "loveliness". Crazy, huh? So I'm reading this poem thinking you're nuts, that the girl sure doesn't sounds lonley, quite the opposite. So I'm an idiot and you're a good writer. Wow, I need to get more sleep.
-Curly
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2004