Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Old Man's Secret"A collection of my poems
17 total reviews
Comment from strandregs
Joke or no joke I always entertain a feeling of expectation when I get a ding dong Steve's got another one.don't worry I also accept you are only human and can't always supply the goods -that's when they are bads(noun)/new word in English language.
to the story: Couple of weeks ago there was, true story,
the birthday of this 100 yr old geezer. guess what your joke was accurate except for his dad being in the other room he wasn't , you'd have to excavate to find him.
anyway this old man he walked around you wouldn't have thought he was more than 75 and looking good , talking to people, not fat, not thin, no glasses, no walking stick,
no hearing aid, just amazing. something for you to look forward to.
just keep writing and entertaining those dancing girls ,
that's my philosophy.sorry can't find anything to improve on,
Zelick
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Joke or no joke I always entertain a feeling of expectation when I get a ding dong Steve's got another one.don't worry I also accept you are only human and can't always supply the goods -that's when they are bads(noun)/new word in English language.
to the story: Couple of weeks ago there was, true story,
the birthday of this 100 yr old geezer. guess what your joke was accurate except for his dad being in the other room he wasn't , you'd have to excavate to find him.
anyway this old man he walked around you wouldn't have thought he was more than 75 and looking good , talking to people, not fat, not thin, no glasses, no walking stick,
no hearing aid, just amazing. something for you to look forward to.
just keep writing and entertaining those dancing girls ,
that's my philosophy.sorry can't find anything to improve on,
Zelick
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Zelick.
This was just a quick off-the-cuff idea. I guess there's a mine of ideas in old jokes....
More centenarians around these days and yes, some of them are amazingly fit-looking!
BTW I expect the dancing girls to entertain ME!
Steve
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If you have time see what you think of my "shack the Technician" I swear I didn't know it was older than me.Zelick
Comment from barkingdog
It's all in the genes, baby!
You have even meter and a fine rhyme going here. It is all so funny. George can't even have his 100th party without his DAD being drunk again.
Your clever listing of many alcoholic beverages brought many tastes from my memory which of course added to the piece.
So you not only have sight, but taste and then the sounds (thumping) from up stairs.
Your many alliteration add flow to the piece.
Really, enjoyable. Thank you, kiwisteveh.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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It's all in the genes, baby!
You have even meter and a fine rhyme going here. It is all so funny. George can't even have his 100th party without his DAD being drunk again.
Your clever listing of many alcoholic beverages brought many tastes from my memory which of course added to the piece.
So you not only have sight, but taste and then the sounds (thumping) from up stairs.
Your many alliteration add flow to the piece.
Really, enjoyable. Thank you, kiwisteveh.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks, bd
Just a bit of fun to revive this old story...
Steve
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It was a new one to me.
Comment from DIS-illusioned
--Very nice picture image to complement your poem's theme.
--"One hundred years Old George achieved,
The fuss could barely be believed;"
It is a feat, and I can only hope I make it there too.
--""Temperance," was his stern reply,
"I've spent my life completely dry."
Well, that's a bit extreme now, ain't it, Pops? Went from temperance (which I see as moderation) to cold dry no booze! Come on! :)
--Good rhymes and flow to the piece.
--"My bloody father's drunk again!"
Ah! Nice twist! :) So, how old is this 'drinking' father, a thousand? :) I think I'll like him better. :)
Nice, humorous one here.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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--Very nice picture image to complement your poem's theme.
--"One hundred years Old George achieved,
The fuss could barely be believed;"
It is a feat, and I can only hope I make it there too.
--""Temperance," was his stern reply,
"I've spent my life completely dry."
Well, that's a bit extreme now, ain't it, Pops? Went from temperance (which I see as moderation) to cold dry no booze! Come on! :)
--Good rhymes and flow to the piece.
--"My bloody father's drunk again!"
Ah! Nice twist! :) So, how old is this 'drinking' father, a thousand? :) I think I'll like him better. :)
Nice, humorous one here.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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'Temperance' can be moderation but can also be total abstinence which is what silly old George practised!
Just a bit of fun to revive this old story...
Thanks for reviewing!
Steve
Comment from ksherwoodrn
Cute, cute poem woven into a story that brings a smile. Love the picture and the ending...nice job with an old joke turned new....kathleen
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Cute, cute poem woven into a story that brings a smile. Love the picture and the ending...nice job with an old joke turned new....kathleen
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Thanks, Kathleen
Just a bit of fun - glad it brought a smile.
Have a good day.
Steve
Comment from Fishcake
That made me laugh out loud! Expertly written, no critique with this. I loved the British humour. I thought that George had passed away in the poem at the end and found it amusing that it was his dad. Might have made a twist had it been morale, upright, self righteous and tee total George!!!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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That made me laugh out loud! Expertly written, no critique with this. I loved the British humour. I thought that George had passed away in the poem at the end and found it amusing that it was his dad. Might have made a twist had it been morale, upright, self righteous and tee total George!!!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Glad I raised a laugh - that's the whole point really!
Yes, he was an uptight, self-righteous old geezer, wasn't he!
Steve
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Yes!!! I really got the feeling that you were a Brit, am I right? Not many on this sight.
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Guess again - I thought the name was a bit of a give-away - you might have to brush up on your birds...
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent poem! Sweet and humorous. I like the reference to the telegram from the queen, and can just imagine this feisty old gentleman enjoying his birthday.
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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Excellent poem! Sweet and humorous. I like the reference to the telegram from the queen, and can just imagine this feisty old gentleman enjoying his birthday.
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Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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....until his father spoiled the occasion - drunken old sod!
Thanks for stopping by!
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Great little rhymer with a sense of humour and a great beat. I enjoyed the pace and all the names of different drinks. Reminded me of a few good adventures. LOL! Fun stuff.
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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Great little rhymer with a sense of humour and a great beat. I enjoyed the pace and all the names of different drinks. Reminded me of a few good adventures. LOL! Fun stuff.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2011
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Alas, I don't do those 'adventures' any more....
Still fun to write about though.
Steve
