Don't Fence Me In
A story of survival23 total reviews
Comment from JudithMarie
I love this story! It started clouded with sadness then a shout of "YES!" at the end. Your words and underlying suspense leads me through. I have no idea where I am being taken, but I get a hint then I smile at the clever twists at the end. The bully gets his due...great drama. Cynthia realizes she is strong enough survive and breaks through to a more perfect life. I applaud her and your creative writing! Great entry!
reply by the author on 05-May-2011
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I love this story! It started clouded with sadness then a shout of "YES!" at the end. Your words and underlying suspense leads me through. I have no idea where I am being taken, but I get a hint then I smile at the clever twists at the end. The bully gets his due...great drama. Cynthia realizes she is strong enough survive and breaks through to a more perfect life. I applaud her and your creative writing! Great entry!
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 05-May-2011
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Thank you Judy, Your support and encouragement are truly a blessing. -Judy
Comment from glpar
I did enjoy it. I liked the way you began then let it flow through to the end. I started out thinking she was going to stay in an abusive situation and we glad to see the twist in the end. Good job
reply by the author on 05-May-2011
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I did enjoy it. I liked the way you began then let it flow through to the end. I started out thinking she was going to stay in an abusive situation and we glad to see the twist in the end. Good job
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 05-May-2011
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Thanks for the comments and I am glad you liked the story. -Judy
Comment from Veekz
I love how you've worked the fence into this piece, it works extremely well. It's a catalyst to so many other positive steps she is starting to take in her life :)
All the best in the contest!
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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I love how you've worked the fence into this piece, it works extremely well. It's a catalyst to so many other positive steps she is starting to take in her life :)
All the best in the contest!
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you very much for the kind words and encouraging rating. -Judy
Comment from Larrypic11
I enjoyed your story of a woman finally setting herself free from a bad marriage the best way she could. Evil men make for god storytelling. Good luck. Larry
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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I enjoyed your story of a woman finally setting herself free from a bad marriage the best way she could. Evil men make for god storytelling. Good luck. Larry
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you very much Larry. I do appreciate the 5 stars as well as you comments. -Judy
Comment from adewpearl
Juanita, her good friend, would say - add the second comma
You don't know the half of it, Cynthia thought - add comma
as the rotund, Peter Flannigan, - drop the commas
it's 9:00 a.m. sharp - add the apostrophe in it's
forced his shoulders back, extending - add comma
I just love the ending and I love Cynthia! What an inspiring story for any woman who has ever put up with such a man. Brooke
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Juanita, her good friend, would say - add the second comma
You don't know the half of it, Cynthia thought - add comma
as the rotund, Peter Flannigan, - drop the commas
it's 9:00 a.m. sharp - add the apostrophe in it's
forced his shoulders back, extending - add comma
I just love the ending and I love Cynthia! What an inspiring story for any woman who has ever put up with such a man. Brooke
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thanks you, Brooke, for the comma assistance. I am always afraid of putting too many in my writing, that I err the opposite way. I appreciate your comments and am glad you liked this. -Judy
Comment from lola29
Judy, I love this story. It's very uplifting and inspiring, especially for women who have suffered at the hands of a bully. This is a winner in my book.
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Judy, I love this story. It's very uplifting and inspiring, especially for women who have suffered at the hands of a bully. This is a winner in my book.
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you Lola, your comments mean a lot to me. -Judy
Comment from Jan Earnshaw
Excellent story about abusive/neglectful spouses. It is way more common than many believe. Suggestion: I might take a bit more time foreshadowing what the picket fence means - i.e. that she is taking a stand and kicking whatshisname out. You don't see it until the very end. Not even her girlfriend has any idea of why she is putting up that fence. But maybe that is what you intended? Great work!
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Excellent story about abusive/neglectful spouses. It is way more common than many believe. Suggestion: I might take a bit more time foreshadowing what the picket fence means - i.e. that she is taking a stand and kicking whatshisname out. You don't see it until the very end. Not even her girlfriend has any idea of why she is putting up that fence. But maybe that is what you intended? Great work!
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you, and I did intend to keep the suspense until the end. I appreciate your comments and encouragement. -Judy
Comment from Lizizme
Heck yeah! Go Cynthia. Great piece. Puts the reader right in the scene and holds on. Only suggestion is the two "would say"s. One at the end of the first paragraph then the other at the beginning of the second. I know in some places the play on words would be fine, but since it is in two separate paragraphs it cut the flow a bit. Otherwise, woo hoo on this. Good stuff!
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Heck yeah! Go Cynthia. Great piece. Puts the reader right in the scene and holds on. Only suggestion is the two "would say"s. One at the end of the first paragraph then the other at the beginning of the second. I know in some places the play on words would be fine, but since it is in two separate paragraphs it cut the flow a bit. Otherwise, woo hoo on this. Good stuff!
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you, let me take another look at your suggestion. I appreciate your kind review -Judy
Comment from nomi338
I love this story! For most of my life I have felt that women of the world whenever possible should do whatever they can to remove lazy, good for nothing men from their lives. No woman should clutter up their life with a man who is just taking up space. You see ladies he is just blocking a good man from moving in. Bravo my dear I am you fan!
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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I love this story! For most of my life I have felt that women of the world whenever possible should do whatever they can to remove lazy, good for nothing men from their lives. No woman should clutter up their life with a man who is just taking up space. You see ladies he is just blocking a good man from moving in. Bravo my dear I am you fan!
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Oh, thank you so much. Wow, I am humbled with the six stars. You made my day. -Judy
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My pleasur. Good job.
Comment from Katiesherrill
Very nice, It read even easier today with the changes that you made. I love the ending too, how you showed the reader the complete story of how she got the house. You totally followed the contest rules too. Great job.
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Very nice, It read even easier today with the changes that you made. I love the ending too, how you showed the reader the complete story of how she got the house. You totally followed the contest rules too. Great job.
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
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Thank you very much for the review and encouragement to keep writing. -Judy