The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Some Things Are Best Left Alone"A family learns their father is a serial killer
31 total reviews
Comment from moyramouse
I am sorry not to have a 6 star for this chapter. You have kept it tight and it was so well observed. Mum and James interacted just as you would have expected and James suddenly ordering his Mum to tell, was a spine tingling moment.
So part of the story has come out, but there is still more. Mum has had a hard life and James is right to think that the damage his father has done will not be easy to heal. The position of Mother and child were reversed very ably in this chapter and it will also impact on James. An excellent read. xmouse
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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I am sorry not to have a 6 star for this chapter. You have kept it tight and it was so well observed. Mum and James interacted just as you would have expected and James suddenly ordering his Mum to tell, was a spine tingling moment.
So part of the story has come out, but there is still more. Mum has had a hard life and James is right to think that the damage his father has done will not be easy to heal. The position of Mother and child were reversed very ably in this chapter and it will also impact on James. An excellent read. xmouse
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much. I am thrilled you liked this one. Yes, there is still more to come.
Comment from MS Writer
Very well done. Interesting and keeps a reader's interest because of how you have presented the dialogue and the story. Great read. I did find a few things you may want to look at.
I didn't sound judgemental,
?judgmental
is there is even
?one too many "is"
shoved it way and
?shoved it away and
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Very well done. Interesting and keeps a reader's interest because of how you have presented the dialogue and the story. Great read. I did find a few things you may want to look at.
I didn't sound judgemental,
?judgmental
is there is even
?one too many "is"
shoved it way and
?shoved it away and
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thanks for catching the spags. I am pleased you continue to enjoy this dark story.
Comment from lola29
OMG! What a horrible secret to have to keep locked inside about your sister being your mother. This is really getting deep into psychological disorders. Great chapter!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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OMG! What a horrible secret to have to keep locked inside about your sister being your mother. This is really getting deep into psychological disorders. Great chapter!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thanks, I am thrilled you liked this one. Lots more secrets to come, too.
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
After the last chapter I was expecting a few fireworks - but this was a 4th of July display.
The skeletons are really rolling out of the cupboard. The Mom/Sister relationship is a stunner. What a weird family - I can't get enough of them!
Ron
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Hi Smurphy
After the last chapter I was expecting a few fireworks - but this was a 4th of July display.
The skeletons are really rolling out of the cupboard. The Mom/Sister relationship is a stunner. What a weird family - I can't get enough of them!
Ron
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Yes, they are not your ordinary family. Glad you are enjoying this dark story.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
OMG - such dark family
secrets.. so intriguing!!!
the knot in my stomach exploded into a raging inferno sending [stomach] acid - I don't think you need this 2nd "stomach" here...
She abruptly shoved it (a)way
So enjoyable, Sasha.
Margaret
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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OMG - such dark family
secrets.. so intriguing!!!
the knot in my stomach exploded into a raging inferno sending [stomach] acid - I don't think you need this 2nd "stomach" here...
She abruptly shoved it (a)way
So enjoyable, Sasha.
Margaret
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thanks for catching the spags. I am thrilled you are enjoying this very dark story.
Comment from Halfree
I have been waiting for a breakthrough in the telling of this story. The previous chapter,while good,seemed clinical. This one really stepped into the heart of the story. The paragraph with " ...mom fading..." masterful writing. Sure, I can point out some areas that might stand some editing, but that's a personal style thing and might not be valid. Keep at this, Write it and let it age, edit... I believe you have a winner. Enjoyed the read...waiting for next chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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I have been waiting for a breakthrough in the telling of this story. The previous chapter,while good,seemed clinical. This one really stepped into the heart of the story. The paragraph with " ...mom fading..." masterful writing. Sure, I can point out some areas that might stand some editing, but that's a personal style thing and might not be valid. Keep at this, Write it and let it age, edit... I believe you have a winner. Enjoyed the read...waiting for next chapter.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thank you very much. I especially like your, write it and let it age,and edit... Great advice.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha, this is unbelievable. Dark secrets kept by mom for ages. Poor mom is really a victim of so many heartaches. A robot in dad's hands. You peel the secrets layer per layer and leave us hungry for more! Amazingly written.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Hi, Sasha, this is unbelievable. Dark secrets kept by mom for ages. Poor mom is really a victim of so many heartaches. A robot in dad's hands. You peel the secrets layer per layer and leave us hungry for more! Amazingly written.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thank you very much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from words
I was so glad to come home and find your post.
This one was dark, but so intriguing.
Where is the aunt/grandmother ... where is his father's sister's mother ... was the grandfather also a killer.
The dark possibilities are endless.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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I was so glad to come home and find your post.
This one was dark, but so intriguing.
Where is the aunt/grandmother ... where is his father's sister's mother ... was the grandfather also a killer.
The dark possibilities are endless.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much. I am pleased you liked this one. I guess I caught a lot of people off guard with this one. I got a kick out of you calling this one 'dark' since I think the whole book is 'dark'...more surprises to come as James continues his search for the truth.
Comment from RebelRose
Wow. I never saw that coming ... his sister is also his mother. Very interesting. Now the secrets are coming out and I am looking forward to reading about more. This is a great chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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Wow. I never saw that coming ... his sister is also his mother. Very interesting. Now the secrets are coming out and I am looking forward to reading about more. This is a great chapter.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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Thanks. I am glad I caught you off guard. Plenty more to come as the story progresses.
Comment from Showboat
You never need to apologize for your characters, not ever. If the reafer doesn't like it, they move on, but the author is always right in this instance. It's your book and it's your plot. If the reader doesn't like the character, they're invited to leave!
Steps down off soapbox. GREAT chapter, ergo the six.
The stories are rough, my friend, dealing with a rough subject. Label them appropriately and forget it!
Great chapter!
Hugs,
Gayle
soothe each other's pain.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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You never need to apologize for your characters, not ever. If the reafer doesn't like it, they move on, but the author is always right in this instance. It's your book and it's your plot. If the reader doesn't like the character, they're invited to leave!
Steps down off soapbox. GREAT chapter, ergo the six.
The stories are rough, my friend, dealing with a rough subject. Label them appropriately and forget it!
Great chapter!
Hugs,
Gayle
soothe each other's pain.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2011
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And if only I could spell!!! Thanks so much for the awesome 6 stars and the uplifting 'lecture'. I always look forward to and appreciate your comments.
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Me too! "Reafer"...good grief. Reader!
xoxo