The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "A Talk With Mom"A family learns their father is a serial killer
34 total reviews
Comment from missy98writer
Sasha,
your latest chapter of The Crack in the Mirror is very well written and riviteing. I can't believe the re-write is on twenty-four. James is getting hell from the family. James kicked them out to talk to his Mom. His mother is still shell shocked, but I think he did tell her something that would help. James is right that his father turned his Mom into a frightened well-trained robot. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Another superb chapter. I can't wait to read more. I hope your doing better, my friend. Smile.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Sasha,
your latest chapter of The Crack in the Mirror is very well written and riviteing. I can't believe the re-write is on twenty-four. James is getting hell from the family. James kicked them out to talk to his Mom. His mother is still shell shocked, but I think he did tell her something that would help. James is right that his father turned his Mom into a frightened well-trained robot. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Another superb chapter. I can't wait to read more. I hope your doing better, my friend. Smile.
Melissa.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for your great review. Yes, I am feeling MUCH better.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh, you've left me hanging...
what is she going to tell him...
quickly, write the next chapter please....
before confronting Mom(,) was
I looked at Charlie, Aunt Em, and Uncle Martin and politely, - here, rather than list the names again, might I suggest...
I looked at each of the others in turn and politely,
["]"James...."
room next door(,) I interrupted,
She didn't bother to get a glass. She popped the metal tab, tipped her head back, and in four or five large, loud gulps, she emptied the can. - lots of "she" here - might I suggest...
She didn't bother to get a glass but popped the metal tab, tipped her head back and in four or five large, loud gulps, emptied the can.
Mac (had) said the exact
Margaret
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Oh, you've left me hanging...
what is she going to tell him...
quickly, write the next chapter please....
before confronting Mom(,) was
I looked at Charlie, Aunt Em, and Uncle Martin and politely, - here, rather than list the names again, might I suggest...
I looked at each of the others in turn and politely,
["]"James...."
room next door(,) I interrupted,
She didn't bother to get a glass. She popped the metal tab, tipped her head back, and in four or five large, loud gulps, she emptied the can. - lots of "she" here - might I suggest...
She didn't bother to get a glass but popped the metal tab, tipped her head back and in four or five large, loud gulps, emptied the can.
Mac (had) said the exact
Margaret
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thanks for catching the spags. I can use all the help I can get. Glad you liked this one. I hope to post the next chapter today.
Comment from raw form
All I can say is I wish this chapter was longer it felt like it got cut off in the middle but still a good read nonetheless.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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All I can say is I wish this chapter was longer it felt like it got cut off in the middle but still a good read nonetheless.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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I may go back later and combine it with the next chapter. I agree it is very short.
Comment from moyramouse
Oh how could you leave us with such a cliff hanger!!! James is very forceful in this scene but he still manages to come over as more concerned rather than angry, which shows us what a strong character he has. His head is already swimming with what he and Mac have discussed and he needs to discover some facts from Mom. You have given us lots of clues to lead us to know that Mum definitely knows more than she is letting on and it isn't going to be anything good. Her trance-like state shows that she is somewhere unpleasant. James is right to be concerned, but in the end it may be therapeutic for her to speak of what she has buried for years. xmouse
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Oh how could you leave us with such a cliff hanger!!! James is very forceful in this scene but he still manages to come over as more concerned rather than angry, which shows us what a strong character he has. His head is already swimming with what he and Mac have discussed and he needs to discover some facts from Mom. You have given us lots of clues to lead us to know that Mum definitely knows more than she is letting on and it isn't going to be anything good. Her trance-like state shows that she is somewhere unpleasant. James is right to be concerned, but in the end it may be therapeutic for her to speak of what she has buried for years. xmouse
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Mom is definitely not in a good place right now but hopefully talking will help. Glad you liked this and the next chapter will be longer and more in depth. I hope to post it today.
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
Well this is probably the shortest chapter in your book - but quite a tease.
Mom is about to let something out of the bag - and I for one can't wait to find out what!
Ron
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Hi Smurphy
Well this is probably the shortest chapter in your book - but quite a tease.
Mom is about to let something out of the bag - and I for one can't wait to find out what!
Ron
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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You'll be happy to know that the next chapter will be much longer and hopefully posted today.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I was delighted to see another chapter posted. This story is so intriguing, I hate to see the chapters coming to their end.
The writing is powerful, so powerful one is not aware of time passing.
Giddy
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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I was delighted to see another chapter posted. This story is so intriguing, I hate to see the chapters coming to their end.
The writing is powerful, so powerful one is not aware of time passing.
Giddy
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much for the enthusiastic review. I am so pleased you liked this one. I plan to post another longer and more in depth chapter tomorrow. Thank you so much for the awesome 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate them.
Comment from whitteron
S
I know all the secrets my own family had, but no seriel killers that I know of. I can't wait to see what sailed this monster down the river. Nice tension, good dialogue.
Where is the little sister, these days? is she still in the hospital?
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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S
I know all the secrets my own family had, but no seriel killers that I know of. I can't wait to see what sailed this monster down the river. Nice tension, good dialogue.
Where is the little sister, these days? is she still in the hospital?
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Yes, Susan is still in the hospital. Actually, only three days have passed since she was admitted. I probably need to clarify the time line better for the reader. Glad you liked this one. I plan to read your post after I take a nap....I am exhausted, I had a really busy day. I plan to post a longer more in depth chapter tomorrow about what Mom has to say.
Comment from Alaskastory
'A Talk With Mom' is a short chapter that gives a good view of mother and son. Impatience and determination comes out harshly to aunt, uncle and brother, but only his mom rebukes him. I look forward to when she truly opens up.
A really good chapter, Sasha. lol, Marie.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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'A Talk With Mom' is a short chapter that gives a good view of mother and son. Impatience and determination comes out harshly to aunt, uncle and brother, but only his mom rebukes him. I look forward to when she truly opens up.
A really good chapter, Sasha. lol, Marie.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thanks for the positive review. James's behavior is not his usual together/organized self. His family is not really sure how to deal with him. I cover this in a future chapter but am impressed that you saw this already.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Valerie:)
"James, some things are best left alone." Those words seem to echo through this story and reverberate with greater and greater intensity each time James hears them. Somehow Mom seems to have bypassed her conscious mind and reached deep inside where long maintained denial has locked away some awful secret
Has James destroyed his the last vestiges of his mother's sanity or is the truth about to come out. Surely when Mom finishes what she is saying, James and your readers will understand the fateful words, "James, some things are best left alone." I think it is time for the whole truth as Mom knows it.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Hi Valerie:)
"James, some things are best left alone." Those words seem to echo through this story and reverberate with greater and greater intensity each time James hears them. Somehow Mom seems to have bypassed her conscious mind and reached deep inside where long maintained denial has locked away some awful secret
Has James destroyed his the last vestiges of his mother's sanity or is the truth about to come out. Surely when Mom finishes what she is saying, James and your readers will understand the fateful words, "James, some things are best left alone." I think it is time for the whole truth as Mom knows it.
Love and Irish hugs,
Roger
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Yes, it is definitely time for the truth but whether it will be the whole truth is yet to be determined. Glad you liked this one. I plan to post a longer, more in depth chapter tomorrow.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
This one made me say Wow!
Very powerful.
Can feel the emotions swirling all around.
Good descriptions.
I like the dialogue.
It's so interesting.
Good way to end the chapter as well.
Katie
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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This one made me say Wow!
Very powerful.
Can feel the emotions swirling all around.
Good descriptions.
I like the dialogue.
It's so interesting.
Good way to end the chapter as well.
Katie
Comment Written 05-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much. I am thrilled you liked this one.
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You're welcome.
Katie