The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Be Careful What You Ask For"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
I love this paragraph..."I was assigned to the Belltown Murder case before we knew it was the work of a serial killer. As time passed and the number of victims grew, I honestly feared we would never catch him. Then, you walked into the station. A tall, gangly, freckle-faced nerd, with the social skills of a wart hog, an IQ that made everyone in the room feel like a kindergarten dropout, and handed us your father on a silver platter."
If I didn't have a clear picture of James before, I surely do now. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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I love this paragraph..."I was assigned to the Belltown Murder case before we knew it was the work of a serial killer. As time passed and the number of victims grew, I honestly feared we would never catch him. Then, you walked into the station. A tall, gangly, freckle-faced nerd, with the social skills of a wart hog, an IQ that made everyone in the room feel like a kindergarten dropout, and handed us your father on a silver platter."
If I didn't have a clear picture of James before, I surely do now. Great job.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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I am so pleased you like my description of dear sweet James. I am also pleased you continue to enjoy this story.
Comment from raw form
Like peeling layers off of an onion the truth will unfold for james. as I have said before I am really enjoying your story its just so compelling. I'll see you next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Like peeling layers off of an onion the truth will unfold for james. as I have said before I am really enjoying your story its just so compelling. I'll see you next chapter.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much. I am pleased you continue to enjoy this.
Comment from marcii
James didn't learn a lot more about his Dad and his family but he knew that Mac will help him find out more. It sure would be hard to deal with all this. Wonder how much his mum and aunt can really tell him as his Dad sure knew how to hide things.
I continue to really enjoy your story.
Marcii
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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James didn't learn a lot more about his Dad and his family but he knew that Mac will help him find out more. It sure would be hard to deal with all this. Wonder how much his mum and aunt can really tell him as his Dad sure knew how to hide things.
I continue to really enjoy your story.
Marcii
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Hopefully, we are about to find out. I am pleased you continue to enjoy this.
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
When I read your first few lines I thought you had been reading too many of my Mike and Molly adventures. Was James off to seek the Arc of the Covenant?
Not so, the intriguing talk between Mac and James makes one wonder if Mac is telling all? Or even making some of it up? This is a real mystery in every sense.
Ron
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Hi Smurphy
When I read your first few lines I thought you had been reading too many of my Mike and Molly adventures. Was James off to seek the Arc of the Covenant?
Not so, the intriguing talk between Mac and James makes one wonder if Mac is telling all? Or even making some of it up? This is a real mystery in every sense.
Ron
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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That's my hope. I am so pleased you enjoyed this and yes, I think Mike is rubbing off on me.
Comment from moyramouse
I liked James' reaction to Mac revealing his feelings to him. You got the mixture of embarrassment and interest balanced just right. Plus we saw that he realized it was something very special for Mac to talk to him in this way. When Mac does start to speak to James about the case, you defuse the charged emotional atmosphere with the laughter and James' comment about sainthood. He hasn't really told James anything that he didn't know, as his father's background was a mystery anyway, all he now knows is that his father wasn't the man he thought he was. Mom and Aunt Em know something, you have given us hints in the past, now James is going to confront them and ask for some answers. A really good chapter. xxmouse
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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I liked James' reaction to Mac revealing his feelings to him. You got the mixture of embarrassment and interest balanced just right. Plus we saw that he realized it was something very special for Mac to talk to him in this way. When Mac does start to speak to James about the case, you defuse the charged emotional atmosphere with the laughter and James' comment about sainthood. He hasn't really told James anything that he didn't know, as his father's background was a mystery anyway, all he now knows is that his father wasn't the man he thought he was. Mom and Aunt Em know something, you have given us hints in the past, now James is going to confront them and ask for some answers. A really good chapter. xxmouse
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Thank so much for your enthusiastic review. I am pleased you continue to enjoy this.
Comment from Joan E.
Your allusion to the Arc of the Covenant is a dramatic way to lead us way to into the story and you follow it quickly with a wonderfully visual "plate" metaphor with plenty of alliteration to make it unforgettable! Then you popped in the young guy's "sarcasm" and the "puppy dog" simile for comic relief--sometime for everyone and for all moments! I also like the suspense you've created about learning more surrounding his dad's mysterious years outside Blaine. -Joan
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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Your allusion to the Arc of the Covenant is a dramatic way to lead us way to into the story and you follow it quickly with a wonderfully visual "plate" metaphor with plenty of alliteration to make it unforgettable! Then you popped in the young guy's "sarcasm" and the "puppy dog" simile for comic relief--sometime for everyone and for all moments! I also like the suspense you've created about learning more surrounding his dad's mysterious years outside Blaine. -Joan
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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I once knew a detective very much like Mac and he had a sense of humor most would not have expected from someone dealing with such horrific overtones. We would spend hours talking and our conversations were much like those I use between Mac and James. We both found comic relief a means of dealing with the harsh subject matter. Many don't understand this type of relationship but I find it quite interesting. I am so pleased you see this and also that you enjoy it. Most of my characters are based on people I have known personally or done research on. Thanks for the enthusiastic review, I always look forward to your comments.
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They always say "write what you know"--you combine that concept with the product of your imagination in a perfect balance. Many thanks for sharing the result and for this gracious response. -Joan
Comment from animatqua
This continues to be a real heart stopper. I keep wanting to urge the story into the next chapter like someone cheering a race horse forward to the finishing line.
If this was a hard copy book, I would have it devoured by now.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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This continues to be a real heart stopper. I keep wanting to urge the story into the next chapter like someone cheering a race horse forward to the finishing line.
If this was a hard copy book, I would have it devoured by now.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2011
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That's my one complaint about this site, you can only post two chapters a day making it a slow read. I am thrilled you are enjoying this and plan to post a minimum of one (hopefully two) chapter a day until completed. Thanks so much for the awesome 6 stars, they are sincerely appreciated.
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I can understand why the site only allows two posts a day, but it really is limiting!
Comment from Readywriter52
It seems that Mac know many things about James' father that aren't true. His father lied about his home and family. Mac doesn't know where his mother is or his sister. James' father remains a mystery.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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It seems that Mac know many things about James' father that aren't true. His father lied about his home and family. Mac doesn't know where his mother is or his sister. James' father remains a mystery.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Yes, there are more questions than answers but James is determined to get the truth not matter what it takes. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from MizKat
smurphgirl - I haven't read any of your other chapters, but this on sure held my interest. You really tell a good story and I love crime books. Wonderful work, fantastic job. Kat
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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smurphgirl - I haven't read any of your other chapters, but this on sure held my interest. You really tell a good story and I love crime books. Wonderful work, fantastic job. Kat
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much. Knowing you have not read any previous chapters and still like this means a lot. I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Comment from Cletus Hardiman
Thank you for the nice story I just read. It was an easy read--the type I like! I cannot think of anything I would change to make it better. Looks like you've already done that! Clete
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you for the nice story I just read. It was an easy read--the type I like! I cannot think of anything I would change to make it better. Looks like you've already done that! Clete
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you very much. I am pleased you liked it.
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Yes, I did! And, you are welcome! Clete