The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Quid Pro Quo Part 2"A family learns their father is a serial killer
27 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh, I'm so glad to
see my favourite author
is back writing
her book - I enjoyed
this chapter.. Sasha.
of his hand(,) signaling he - comma
Margaret
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Oh, I'm so glad to
see my favourite author
is back writing
her book - I enjoyed
this chapter.. Sasha.
of his hand(,) signaling he - comma
Margaret
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thanks you so much. It is great to be back too.
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
It's such a pleasure to be reviewing another chapter in this magnificent book. You had me worried when you were ill. Thanks for the progress reports!
This chapter is really tightly written - great dialogue and descriptions. We have an expression - opening up a can of worms - it seems the more James finds out - more and more unanswered questions appear. This is really building up to an explosive climax.
Ron
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Hi Smurphy
It's such a pleasure to be reviewing another chapter in this magnificent book. You had me worried when you were ill. Thanks for the progress reports!
This chapter is really tightly written - great dialogue and descriptions. We have an expression - opening up a can of worms - it seems the more James finds out - more and more unanswered questions appear. This is really building up to an explosive climax.
Ron
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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thanks so much. I am pleased you liked this 'sort' but necessary chapter.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Valerie)
I am almost as frustrated as James. Clearly there are a whole lot of family secrets that were hidden from James. What happemed to his father's sister? Why did his father avoid any connections to his past? Was there more unusual or bad behavior in his father's past?
I want to know what Mac knows and soon.
What suspense you have created,. Outstanding Chapter and once more, I wish I could give you six stars, but as always, I still have some virtual Irish hugs for you.
Roger
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Hi Valerie)
I am almost as frustrated as James. Clearly there are a whole lot of family secrets that were hidden from James. What happemed to his father's sister? Why did his father avoid any connections to his past? Was there more unusual or bad behavior in his father's past?
I want to know what Mac knows and soon.
What suspense you have created,. Outstanding Chapter and once more, I wish I could give you six stars, but as always, I still have some virtual Irish hugs for you.
Roger
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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I am thrilled you liked this one. I was bit worried about it being so short, but sometimes short is better.
Comment from animatqua
This continues to keep me on edge. Of course I want to know the secret hiding in James' family. Of course I want to know what made his dad a killer. This is, I think, the heart of the story and very suspenseful.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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This continues to keep me on edge. Of course I want to know the secret hiding in James' family. Of course I want to know what made his dad a killer. This is, I think, the heart of the story and very suspenseful.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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Yes, it actually IS the heart of the story and sorry, but it will not be revealed immediate. Have to work up to it, but from this point the story will move at a faster pace.
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I understand. I need to get the reader really in love with my characters in the book I'm now posting. Then they can understand what happens after the battle.
Comment from Halfree
Good story development. Think this is the best of your writing in this story. Everything is natural and the conversation is believable. You've got this one under control and I can feel the tension, tinged with doubts and questions building. Ain't got no six but this chapter deserves it. Glad to see you back and up to form.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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Good story development. Think this is the best of your writing in this story. Everything is natural and the conversation is believable. You've got this one under control and I can feel the tension, tinged with doubts and questions building. Ain't got no six but this chapter deserves it. Glad to see you back and up to form.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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In the final manuscript I plan to combine both part one and two. I am very pleased that you liked this one. The story will start to move at a faster pace from this point on.
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Kepp at it.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This may be a short chapter, but it has an ominous ring to it.
I am impressed by the way you have manipulated the conversation, to gradually eke out just enough information for the reader to add a few building blocks to the character of James's father.
Giddy
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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This may be a short chapter, but it has an ominous ring to it.
I am impressed by the way you have manipulated the conversation, to gradually eke out just enough information for the reader to add a few building blocks to the character of James's father.
Giddy
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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That's what I was hoping for. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Whoa!
You are right!
I must have plugged into the collective brain eh?
Never really knowing someone...
Great chapter.
Chilling...
Good dialogue.
I like the descriptions.
Good way to end the chapter.
I am enjoying your story.
Katie
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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Whoa!
You are right!
I must have plugged into the collective brain eh?
Never really knowing someone...
Great chapter.
Chilling...
Good dialogue.
I like the descriptions.
Good way to end the chapter.
I am enjoying your story.
Katie
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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That was just too weird! Your poem was the first thing I read after posting this. Yup, we must have plugged into the collective brain (just love that description). Glad you liked this one.
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I love it! I did like it. :)
Comment from Deejharrington
Another extremely well written chapter. The dialog was believable and held the readers interest from beginning to end. I believe, that James will never let it go until he knows everything about his father.
deb
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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Another extremely well written chapter. The dialog was believable and held the readers interest from beginning to end. I believe, that James will never let it go until he knows everything about his father.
deb
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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You are right. James is one determined kid. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Alaskastory
'Quid Pro Quo Part 2' shows James' determination and possibily Mac relenting a little bit. You make me see it is important for James to air his feelings about his dad, and for him to realize his mom's life went too. This piece is so well written, I cannot suggest a single change.
This is a really good read, Sasha.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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'Quid Pro Quo Part 2' shows James' determination and possibily Mac relenting a little bit. You make me see it is important for James to air his feelings about his dad, and for him to realize his mom's life went too. This piece is so well written, I cannot suggest a single change.
This is a really good read, Sasha.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much for your continued support of this book. Things should start moving at a faster pace now.
Comment from moyramouse
James really didn't know much about his Dad's early life, but he knew that to be curious about it was just not something to do if you didn't want trouble. It is remarkable that he is so grounded and sensible. It seems that he is the strength in the family. Mac is very good at handling him when he became angry. This was a very good episode as we learnt so much about Mac from the way he handled the situation. Now what will he tell James. I shall look forward to the next post. xmouse
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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James really didn't know much about his Dad's early life, but he knew that to be curious about it was just not something to do if you didn't want trouble. It is remarkable that he is so grounded and sensible. It seems that he is the strength in the family. Mac is very good at handling him when he became angry. This was a very good episode as we learnt so much about Mac from the way he handled the situation. Now what will he tell James. I shall look forward to the next post. xmouse
Comment Written 01-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2011
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I am so pleased you liked this chapter. Things will start moving a a faster pace from now on. What Mac has to say will push James to make some serious decisions.
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Can't wait :):)