haiku( jewels of spring)
signs of spring17 total reviews
Comment from Mara del Mar
Great Haiku here! The first line is the melting, the second coming of spring, and the third, and we see all the flowery environment. That are these short poems, to suggest, more to say. You've been wonderful. Congratulations and good luck in the contest!
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Great Haiku here! The first line is the melting, the second coming of spring, and the third, and we see all the flowery environment. That are these short poems, to suggest, more to say. You've been wonderful. Congratulations and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011
Comment from acajudy
I too am anticipating spring. You said a lot in a very few words This is within the guidelines of haiku. I wish you well in the contest. Thanks for sharing.,
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I too am anticipating spring. You said a lot in a very few words This is within the guidelines of haiku. I wish you well in the contest. Thanks for sharing.,
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011
Comment from Amicus
in upstate New York
ice beads are spring's jewelry ~
winter lasts 'til June :>)
I enjoyed reading your spring is coming haiku...for the most part it is well done though using "and" to connect the first two lines is somewhat weak and a construction using some stronger linkage is suggested to better the poem. Lucky you to have an early spring to look forward to...I am envious as we have currently a fresh fallen foot of snow on the ground!
Good luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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in upstate New York
ice beads are spring's jewelry ~
winter lasts 'til June :>)
I enjoyed reading your spring is coming haiku...for the most part it is well done though using "and" to connect the first two lines is somewhat weak and a construction using some stronger linkage is suggested to better the poem. Lucky you to have an early spring to look forward to...I am envious as we have currently a fresh fallen foot of snow on the ground!
Good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2011
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Hi Amicus, Thank you for inspiting me to be better. Here is the new version of the poem.....winter crystals melt...unveiling exquisite blooms...jewels of the spring. Second line read before as, "and exquisite blossoms bloom." Love to know what you think, if you don't mind. Sorry, about the snow there ours has practically melted away. You can actually see the ground. We've had 2 feet of snow or above since Dec 26th. Thanks for you review,suggestion on improving and just stopping by.
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better...it is always good to avoid "and" as a connector in my humble opinion. :>)
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Will do!...and Thank You for your help. :o) Helvi
Comment from dinoscribe
Wonderful visuals in words.
Makes me look forward to looking out for these 'jewels' I can already feel spring.
A good Haiku. The syllabic line counts really work well.
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Wonderful visuals in words.
Makes me look forward to looking out for these 'jewels' I can already feel spring.
A good Haiku. The syllabic line counts really work well.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011
Comment from dale339
Great job. I am so ready for spring - really enjoyed this poem. I loved the picture you selected for this as well. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.
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Great job. I am so ready for spring - really enjoyed this poem. I loved the picture you selected for this as well. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011
Comment from MizKat
What a nice haiku poem. I enjoyed reading it. It tells a sweet little poetic story in few words. You did a great job on this and it's great for the contest. Kat
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What a nice haiku poem. I enjoyed reading it. It tells a sweet little poetic story in few words. You did a great job on this and it's great for the contest. Kat
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011
Comment from Matoshka
So beautiful here. Loved your picture and your words. Loved how the ice melts, flowers burst forth in jewels of different colors. blessings and good luck in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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So beautiful here. Loved your picture and your words. Loved how the ice melts, flowers burst forth in jewels of different colors. blessings and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2011