The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Time to Ask for Help"A family learns their father is a serial killer
28 total reviews
Comment from whitteron
about Dad's parents
S
This is really putting me on the edge of my seat. There was only part that caused me to pause, when Charlie had to pee. I don't know a man alive that when nature calls, and they are out in the woods, well, you get my drift...they aren't going to wait twenty minutes.
I anxiously look forward to the next chapter. Cheryl
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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about Dad's parents
S
This is really putting me on the edge of my seat. There was only part that caused me to pause, when Charlie had to pee. I don't know a man alive that when nature calls, and they are out in the woods, well, you get my drift...they aren't going to wait twenty minutes.
I anxiously look forward to the next chapter. Cheryl
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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I'll shorten it to ten, but even that may be too much. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A chapter full of tension - so many questions unanswered
We all sat [down] staring at each other for several minutes - suggest lose "down"
meant Mom was at [the] breaking point - lose "the"
The silence was painful(,) giving our - add comma
I couldn't open this through my PM notification, it said there was no work posted??? And yet, I went in via your portfolio and it opened right away. Some strange things going on.
Margaret
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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A chapter full of tension - so many questions unanswered
We all sat [down] staring at each other for several minutes - suggest lose "down"
meant Mom was at [the] breaking point - lose "the"
The silence was painful(,) giving our - add comma
I couldn't open this through my PM notification, it said there was no work posted??? And yet, I went in via your portfolio and it opened right away. Some strange things going on.
Margaret
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks, as always, for catching the spags. I have no idea what is going on with the site. Everyone has complained that they cannot access this chapter by clicking the message and have to go to my portfolio. I have told Tom, the site manager and he is, hopefully working on it.
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He'll sort it - he's always supportive. M
Comment from lola29
I received notice you had posted, but when I tried to read it, nothing was there, so I found this on the front page.
It seems the family is coasting along, but I'm sure dread and panic are brewing inside each of them. Just the thought that a girl was murdered at the cabin would be enough to send me reeling. As usual, Sasha, you did an outstanding job of bringing the personal nuances into this chapter.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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I received notice you had posted, but when I tried to read it, nothing was there, so I found this on the front page.
It seems the family is coasting along, but I'm sure dread and panic are brewing inside each of them. Just the thought that a girl was murdered at the cabin would be enough to send me reeling. As usual, Sasha, you did an outstanding job of bringing the personal nuances into this chapter.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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I am glad you were able to find this post. I have no idea what is going on with the site. Everyone has complained that they cannot access this chapter by clicking the message and have to go to my portfolio. I have told Tom, the site manager and he is, hopefully working on it.
Comment from Halfree
The plot in this story is attention grabbing. The telling is a little staccato reminding me of a Mickey Spillane novel...Only an ol' head like me will know Spillane.
I should give advice..it takes me three paragraphs to to say the day was beautiful. Yours is a good story and I look forward to each chapter...flesh it up a bit and slow down. Waiting for next chapter (s).
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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The plot in this story is attention grabbing. The telling is a little staccato reminding me of a Mickey Spillane novel...Only an ol' head like me will know Spillane.
I should give advice..it takes me three paragraphs to to say the day was beautiful. Yours is a good story and I look forward to each chapter...flesh it up a bit and slow down. Waiting for next chapter (s).
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Good advice. I'll go back over this and see what I can do. Glad you still like it.
Comment from Realist101
Hi there! I had to come to your portfolio to access this chapter! When I tried to open thru notifications is said "Unable to post your own work?" ODD! SO, but this is another good one. I am amazed at how people act. Your story is neat because it is addressing the family rather than the suspect/killer. Creating wonderful "atmosphere" and intrigue. Nice work my friend. ") Love, susan
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Hi there! I had to come to your portfolio to access this chapter! When I tried to open thru notifications is said "Unable to post your own work?" ODD! SO, but this is another good one. I am amazed at how people act. Your story is neat because it is addressing the family rather than the suspect/killer. Creating wonderful "atmosphere" and intrigue. Nice work my friend. ") Love, susan
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks, I've complained to Tom about the problem. Maybe you could contact him too and he will do something.
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OH I have! I have posted a new story twice now ... paid for two treasure chests and it still isn't going to fans. I dont' know what to do.! I will contact him again later today! If you want? read "Travelers"? I bet it didn't make it to you? This is disheartening...HUGs...susan
Comment from Alaskastory
'Time to Ask for Help'was a chapter I had to go to your profile to call up, but it sure is worth it! The story moves along leaving me wanting more with no suggestions for making it better.
I think you mean 'bald' head for Reilly: '..his over sized [balled] head.
Good chapter, Sasha.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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'Time to Ask for Help'was a chapter I had to go to your profile to call up, but it sure is worth it! The story moves along leaving me wanting more with no suggestions for making it better.
I think you mean 'bald' head for Reilly: '..his over sized [balled] head.
Good chapter, Sasha.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks for catching the spag. I have told Tom/site manager several times about the problem but he can't seem to fix it. Maybe if you contact him too he will see that the problem continues.
Comment from marcellawachtel
This is a good and rather exciting chapter. We have that cabin to ponder over till you post again.
Your post did not come through properly either; it kept sending me back to'post my writing". since I knew you posted because I did get a notification, I found this chapter in your portfolio.
Hope it gets straightened out soon.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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This is a good and rather exciting chapter. We have that cabin to ponder over till you post again.
Your post did not come through properly either; it kept sending me back to'post my writing". since I knew you posted because I did get a notification, I found this chapter in your portfolio.
Hope it gets straightened out soon.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks for the great review. I have spoken with Tom about the problem but he doesn't seem to be able to find it. He says it is fine. Maybe if you contact him and tell him he will see that the problem continues.
Comment from words
Another great chapter.
Love your detailed descriptions of how James can read his mother's moods.
He is a perceptive young man. But then, I imagine that growing up in such a dysfunctional family he had to read the adults just to survive.
Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Another great chapter.
Love your detailed descriptions of how James can read his mother's moods.
He is a perceptive young man. But then, I imagine that growing up in such a dysfunctional family he had to read the adults just to survive.
Well done.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Yes, he has had lots of practice. Glad you continue to enjoy this one.
Comment from Abio
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks for the advice. I just read this new chapter and liked, just as all the other that toghether describe a life that should have gone very different since the very begining, but happend in a very different and unfair way, as many more we can find around us.
Saludos from Abio
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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I have always felt sorry for the families of these killers. They are treated so badly and blamed for what the parent did.
Comment from animatqua
This is another intriguing chapter with a good hook at the start and at the end. I did note one spag:
I immediately tied to reassure her.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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This is another intriguing chapter with a good hook at the start and at the end. I did note one spag:
I immediately tied to reassure her.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.