The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "A Visit With Susan"A family learns their father is a serial killer
28 total reviews
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
It wasn't dull.
Good dialogue.
I liked the descriptions.
It feels so real.
Interesting.
Good way to end it.
One thing to double check: 3rd line from the bottom: I think dad should be Dad
Katie
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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It wasn't dull.
Good dialogue.
I liked the descriptions.
It feels so real.
Interesting.
Good way to end it.
One thing to double check: 3rd line from the bottom: I think dad should be Dad
Katie
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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I'll double check the dad/Dad you pointed out. Glad you like this one. James meets with Dad in the next chapter so it will be a longer and more intense chapter. Glad you liked this one.
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You're welcome. I look forward to it.
Katie
Comment from whitteron
couldn't help but wonder
clue to know who Dad ???
that it would take hatred anger and sadness
six years of experience
You are building the tension perfectly and your characters have established how each one will deal with this for the time being. Can't wait for dialogue between father and son.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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couldn't help but wonder
clue to know who Dad ???
that it would take hatred anger and sadness
six years of experience
You are building the tension perfectly and your characters have established how each one will deal with this for the time being. Can't wait for dialogue between father and son.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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I intentionally used "what" instead of who to emphasize Dad's lack of humanity. Police and profilers often do this too. I hope to post the next chapter tomorrow or Wednesday. Glad you liked this one.
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interesting...as many true-crime shows I have watched, I never picked up that subtle de-humanizing. I like it.
Comment from Alaskastory
'A Visit With Susan' chapter is highly impressive with your knowledge of PTSD and logical treatment. Susan's family reacts in such a loving way.
This is a perfect chapter with no errors I can spot, Sasha. I look forward to James visiting his father. luv, Marie
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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'A Visit With Susan' chapter is highly impressive with your knowledge of PTSD and logical treatment. Susan's family reacts in such a loving way.
This is a perfect chapter with no errors I can spot, Sasha. I look forward to James visiting his father. luv, Marie
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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I have the edge with this one, I actually suffer from PTSD...once again would like to thank my highly dysfunctional family for this too. There are occasionally advantages from having a terrible childhood...lol Glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from InterestingRon
Nothing you write is ever dull, Smurphy.
This, as you say, short chapter fills in the gaps and tells us so much more about Susan.
The hospital scenes are vivid and interesting.
I'm really enjoying this book.
Ron
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Nothing you write is ever dull, Smurphy.
This, as you say, short chapter fills in the gaps and tells us so much more about Susan.
The hospital scenes are vivid and interesting.
I'm really enjoying this book.
Ron
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
it wasn't dull at all - and
it flowed perfectly - so
naturally - involving the
reader in the scene and in the
family's devastation.
Most enoyable, Sasha.
Margaret
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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it wasn't dull at all - and
it flowed perfectly - so
naturally - involving the
reader in the scene and in the
family's devastation.
Most enoyable, Sasha.
Margaret
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Thank you so very much. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha, this is not at all dull. You've introduced to us Susan's condition and its characteristics. I really feel for James and his family (excluding Dad ... :))
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Hi, Sasha, this is not at all dull. You've introduced to us Susan's condition and its characteristics. I really feel for James and his family (excluding Dad ... :))
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Thanks so very much for. I am thrilled you continue to enjoy this.
Comment from marcellawachtel
Actually it was not a dull chapter at all. We got some good information about the maturing of the kid brother, and the depths of the disillusion and anger of the mother, as she destroyed his image in the family album, plus, what I am sure is well-researched information about PTSD.
Note:
"gently" appears two times in very close proximity. You might want to change one of them. ("She gently touched each photograph as though saying goodbye to a memory long gone. When she came to a picture of Dad, she gently . . .")
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Actually it was not a dull chapter at all. We got some good information about the maturing of the kid brother, and the depths of the disillusion and anger of the mother, as she destroyed his image in the family album, plus, what I am sure is well-researched information about PTSD.
Note:
"gently" appears two times in very close proximity. You might want to change one of them. ("She gently touched each photograph as though saying goodbye to a memory long gone. When she came to a picture of Dad, she gently . . .")
Comment Written 31-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Thank you for catching that. I'll go back and fix it right away. I am pleased you didn't find this dull.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I felt as if I was right there in the hospital with Susan and the family. Your description of her condition was very real. I'm so glad I was able to catch up with this story.
Line 21-- onto (the) rug...
Line 46 - I [feel] believe...
Giddy
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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I felt as if I was right there in the hospital with Susan and the family. Your description of her condition was very real. I'm so glad I was able to catch up with this story.
Line 21-- onto (the) rug...
Line 46 - I [feel] believe...
Giddy
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Thanks for catching the spags. I am pleased you found this one interesting.
Comment from words
Another stellar write.
So glad that eddy finally released one for you.
Can't wait to see what happens when James confronts his father ... James was right, each member of the family was another of his father's victims.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Another stellar write.
So glad that eddy finally released one for you.
Can't wait to see what happens when James confronts his father ... James was right, each member of the family was another of his father's victims.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Thanks for the marvelous 6 stars. I am thrilled you enjoyed this one.
Comment from RebelRose
I [feel believe] she will make a full recovery...I think you meant to leave one of these out. Poor Susan. This is really hard on her suffering all the hurt that the rest of the family is suffering plus the fact that her boyfriend turned on her. In a way, she is better off, though, than they are. She is shut up in that hospital and not subjected to all the publicity and cruel treatment that the others are. A great chapter. I'm looking forward to James' visit with his dad.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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I [feel believe] she will make a full recovery...I think you meant to leave one of these out. Poor Susan. This is really hard on her suffering all the hurt that the rest of the family is suffering plus the fact that her boyfriend turned on her. In a way, she is better off, though, than they are. She is shut up in that hospital and not subjected to all the publicity and cruel treatment that the others are. A great chapter. I'm looking forward to James' visit with his dad.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2011
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Yes, in many ways she is better off. At least she is getting the help she so desperately needs to learn how to deal with this. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.