The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Home is Not Where the Heart is"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
It appears before Eddie went nuts, you caught any issues. I especially liked your italics for inner thoughts and you "Cleaver/mom" reference. Your "frightened animal" simile and "mask"/"monster" metaphor are quite apt.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
  |
It appears before Eddie went nuts, you caught any issues. I especially liked your italics for inner thoughts and you "Cleaver/mom" reference. Your "frightened animal" simile and "mask"/"monster" metaphor are quite apt.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
-
Thanks so much. I am pleased you liked this and you didn't find any spags. Ity is good to have you back, I missed you.
-
Thanks for the sweet comment. Hope your weekend is enjoyable. -Joan
Comment from RKagan
These characters are really fleshing out. The mother has let her guard down here. The meeting between James and the father should be quite interesting. This is an excellent novel so far.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
These characters are really fleshing out. The mother has let her guard down here. The meeting between James and the father should be quite interesting. This is an excellent novel so far.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thank you very much. Mom is slowly opening up but still a prisoner of years of brainwashing. It will be a while before her family or even she, herself, knows who she is.
Comment from light
Sasha,
This is a great chapter. The emotion is riveting. Mom is taking on a personality all her own. Where is home. It is for certain that they don't think of their house as a home. Great writing as usual.
Elaine
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
 |
Sasha,
This is a great chapter. The emotion is riveting. Mom is taking on a personality all her own. Where is home. It is for certain that they don't think of their house as a home. Great writing as usual.
Elaine
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thank you so much for your 6 stars and marvelous review. I am so pleased you felt this one deserved it.
Comment from whitteron
I like the way your characters are evolving. I think I could use a paragraph or two, here and there of the deep sinking emotions, that claustrophobic death the mother is feeling inside, but cannot express.
bloody nails to do it (I don't think you need with)
in such a way that you will feel better or in a way that you will feel better...that sentence felt awkard.
All said and done, this is a great read.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
I like the way your characters are evolving. I think I could use a paragraph or two, here and there of the deep sinking emotions, that claustrophobic death the mother is feeling inside, but cannot express.
bloody nails to do it (I don't think you need with)
in such a way that you will feel better or in a way that you will feel better...that sentence felt awkard.
All said and done, this is a great read.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
I will go back over this and see what I can do to polish it. Since this in first person it is difficult to convey what the mother is actually feeling. It needs to come from her. She will eventually open up and express her feelings more as the book progresses. For now, she remains an enigma that James can only try to figure out. Thanks for your continued support and especially the helpful suggestions.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is for all your chapters,
which I'm enjoying.
You are such a natural -
drawing the reader in from
the beginning and holding
their interest throughout.
Well ritten and so well presented.
Margaret
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
This is for all your chapters,
which I'm enjoying.
You are such a natural -
drawing the reader in from
the beginning and holding
their interest throughout.
Well ritten and so well presented.
Margaret
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thank you so very much. You opinion means a lot to me.
Comment from InterestingRon
WOW! I didn't like James much at first - too cold and distant. But he grows in stature with every chapter. He's the one to watch.
The smashing up of family photos was a powerful scene.
Each chapter gets better!
Ron
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
WOW! I didn't like James much at first - too cold and distant. But he grows in stature with every chapter. He's the one to watch.
The smashing up of family photos was a powerful scene.
Each chapter gets better!
Ron
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thanks . In time James grows on you. I just love him. He is the brother/son I never had.
Comment from misscookie
Wow, what a story..It left me speakless.
This is a very interesting story. There was never a dull moment.
It had my attention from the first sentence to the last.
this is a good write.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
Wow, what a story..It left me speakless.
This is a very interesting story. There was never a dull moment.
It had my attention from the first sentence to the last.
this is a good write.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thank you very much. I a thrilled you like this.
-
You are very welcome....Until next time.
Comment from c_lucas
Action is the best way of handling anger. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. It looks like James has a plan.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
Action is the best way of handling anger. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. It looks like James has a plan.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thanks for your continued support of this book. I sincerely appreciate it.
-
You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from penelope
I really must give you an 'exceptional' for this, Sasha. It is so well written. You've portrayed the emotions and the terrible dilemma in which the family finds itself with amazing clarity.
A few months ago a ten-year-old boy was kidnapped and presumably killed here in Germany. The police have been searcher for him and his kidnapper for months. The only real lead they had was the kidnapper's car, no licence no., nothing. This breaks my heart to think of what he must have gone through, and what the family have gone through. Just today they've announced the murderer has been found, a family father of two. I'm also thinking of his wife and kids and what it must be like for them. 'It's in the genes.' Now that's a powerful line. I'm sure one could lose ones frieds very quickly in a case like this.
I also love this line:
Goodbye June Cleaver and hello Mom!
Penelope
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
I really must give you an 'exceptional' for this, Sasha. It is so well written. You've portrayed the emotions and the terrible dilemma in which the family finds itself with amazing clarity.
A few months ago a ten-year-old boy was kidnapped and presumably killed here in Germany. The police have been searcher for him and his kidnapper for months. The only real lead they had was the kidnapper's car, no licence no., nothing. This breaks my heart to think of what he must have gone through, and what the family have gone through. Just today they've announced the murderer has been found, a family father of two. I'm also thinking of his wife and kids and what it must be like for them. 'It's in the genes.' Now that's a powerful line. I'm sure one could lose ones frieds very quickly in a case like this.
I also love this line:
Goodbye June Cleaver and hello Mom!
Penelope
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thank you so much for the awesome review and the marvelous 6 stars. It is amazing how many families have to endure the ignorant wrath of the public.
Comment from Alaskastory
'Where is Home?' chapter gives us a convincing picture of the mom in the way she reacts to James and her return to the home. You develop James with each chapter and it is clear to see him force his will in this one.
typo: ["]Mom shook her head and sighed.
Absolutely perfect job, Sasha.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
'Where is Home?' chapter gives us a convincing picture of the mom in the way she reacts to James and her return to the home. You develop James with each chapter and it is clear to see him force his will in this one.
typo: ["]Mom shook her head and sighed.
Absolutely perfect job, Sasha.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thanks for the great review. I sincerely appreciate it.