Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Joan"A complete story in written as a poem.
26 total reviews
Comment from WRITER1
This is such a story put in a poem. You did it very well. I guess we all had that envy with some other person. I am really impressed how you managed to make it so clear in this poem.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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This is such a story put in a poem. You did it very well. I guess we all had that envy with some other person. I am really impressed how you managed to make it so clear in this poem.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Wow! Thank you so much for those lovely stars. The review and the comments are deeply appreciated.
All the Best,
Beth
Comment from Helen Tan
I enjoyed this poem, brought back memories. Good luck in the contest.
For the class prize of Best Reader,
we vied with no conceding.
In dramatics we competed
each reading for the best role.
This reminds me of me and an ex classmate - we were good friends yet fiercely competitive. We vied for the lead roles in school plays and for the most outstanding student award every year. The joke is now she's in London moaning about bringing up teenagers and you guessed it, I'm here in Singapore, moaning about the same thing! Give us back our days on stage!
She wanted to confess to me
a thing that had caused her shame
Surprise was written on my face,
when she claimed she'd envied me.
We forget while we're envying others, they could well be envying us. The grass is greener on the other side - except when you're sitting on the other side!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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I enjoyed this poem, brought back memories. Good luck in the contest.
For the class prize of Best Reader,
we vied with no conceding.
In dramatics we competed
each reading for the best role.
This reminds me of me and an ex classmate - we were good friends yet fiercely competitive. We vied for the lead roles in school plays and for the most outstanding student award every year. The joke is now she's in London moaning about bringing up teenagers and you guessed it, I'm here in Singapore, moaning about the same thing! Give us back our days on stage!
She wanted to confess to me
a thing that had caused her shame
Surprise was written on my face,
when she claimed she'd envied me.
We forget while we're envying others, they could well be envying us. The grass is greener on the other side - except when you're sitting on the other side!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much Helen. I appreciate the review and your insightful comments. It never occurred to me there was any reason for her to envy me.
Beth
Comment from Realist101
HA! THis is different! I could outrun ALL The boys up until 9th grade. IN THE DUST I left them! But, then something happened, and I lost it. But jealousy is a strong emotion and it's nice that Joan became your friend? Nice work Beth, good luck in the contest too!! HUG! Susan
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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HA! THis is different! I could outrun ALL The boys up until 9th grade. IN THE DUST I left them! But, then something happened, and I lost it. But jealousy is a strong emotion and it's nice that Joan became your friend? Nice work Beth, good luck in the contest too!! HUG! Susan
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Actually Joan and I never because close friends. We were rivals all through school and I was shocked years later to find that she envied me as much as I envied her. Thanks so much for reviewing and commenting on this.
Beth
Comment from sasil
Wry grin here, as I read to the end...good for her and good for the narrator--confession turned out to be a surprising compliment. To think of the time wasted that might have been friendship. Hindsight always 20-20....thanks for the reminder!
S.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Wry grin here, as I read to the end...good for her and good for the narrator--confession turned out to be a surprising compliment. To think of the time wasted that might have been friendship. Hindsight always 20-20....thanks for the reminder!
S.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and the insightful comments. You are right about hindsight being 20/20.
Beth
Comment from alexgardiner
We hadn't been that close as friends,
so whatever could it be?
Surprise was written on my face,
when she claimed she'd envied me.
Aye Bonny lass things are not always what they seem.
The Auld Yin.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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We hadn't been that close as friends,
so whatever could it be?
Surprise was written on my face,
when she claimed she'd envied me.
Aye Bonny lass things are not always what they seem.
The Auld Yin.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Thank you Alex. I've found it to be true many times that things are not always as they seem. Thank you for the review and insightful comments.
Beth
Comment from Fiona Hymn
Love the lesson about judging that comes through in this poem. The lilting rhyme and rhythm to this verse gives it a pleasing read while not losing sight of the imagery, emotion and of course, said lesson. This is a well written poem that is a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Love the lesson about judging that comes through in this poem. The lilting rhyme and rhythm to this verse gives it a pleasing read while not losing sight of the imagery, emotion and of course, said lesson. This is a well written poem that is a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Thank you Fiona, I really appreciate your review and lovely comments.
All the best to you,
Beth
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Beth, this is a delightful and fun poem, with a surprising twist in the end. How would you guess that she envied you, while you envied her? Interesting quatrain for the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Hi, Beth, this is a delightful and fun poem, with a surprising twist in the end. How would you guess that she envied you, while you envied her? Interesting quatrain for the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Thank you Belinda. I really appreciate the review and lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from lola29
Beth, your poem is a wonderful read because I believe so many of us can relate to your story. Sometimes, we spend so much time and energy trying to out-perform those we consider our arch rivals only to find out that they felt the same about us. Very nicely done!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Beth, your poem is a wonderful read because I believe so many of us can relate to your story. Sometimes, we spend so much time and energy trying to out-perform those we consider our arch rivals only to find out that they felt the same about us. Very nicely done!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review and the insightful comments.
All the best,
Beth
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Beth Shelby ....
I enjoyed reading this poem and especially your surprise ending. It is well written with good rhyming and rhythm and your well-chosen words provide vivid imagery for your readers.
Thank you for sharing this with us and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Hullo Beth Shelby ....
I enjoyed reading this poem and especially your surprise ending. It is well written with good rhyming and rhythm and your well-chosen words provide vivid imagery for your readers.
Thank you for sharing this with us and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for the review Nanette Mary. I really appreciate you nice comments and warm wishes.
Beth
Comment from l.raven
This is well written.I like the wording.Has a good rhythm and rhyme.And a good flow.You can't go by the way someone looks doesn't always tell what they feel.And I love the picture.(Mother-in -law.)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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This is well written.I like the wording.Has a good rhythm and rhyme.And a good flow.You can't go by the way someone looks doesn't always tell what they feel.And I love the picture.(Mother-in -law.)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2011
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Thank for the review and the nice comments. I couldn't find another picture that seemed to fit as well but I figured most people would recognize it.
Beth