Pet Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Harley meets Simba and Leo"...musings on the pets I've had
87 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Sometimes animals take an instant dislike to each other! If you are lucky then they get on, but personalities exist in animals the same as humans, a joy to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Sometimes animals take an instant dislike to each other! If you are lucky then they get on, but personalities exist in animals the same as humans, a joy to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Hi Dolly; thank you for your time to read and review this short story about my pets. Harley goes on to star in a few more chapters - he was a great dog,
~patty~
Comment from jusylee72
Bringing animals into a new house is always terrifying and new. It is a definite transition and your story told through the eyes of the sweet little critters is very believable. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Bringing animals into a new house is always terrifying and new. It is a definite transition and your story told through the eyes of the sweet little critters is very believable. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I truly appreciate your encouraging words,
~patty~
Comment from TheWriteTeach
Patty,
The paragraph about Harley thinking he was going home to his mother and litter mates almost made me cry. I've always felt it must be devastating for puppies to be yanked from the known and thrown into the unknown. But it ended on a happy note with Harley cuddled, comfy, and happy in your arms.
I noticed a couple of things:
He was still in the crate, and he could smell all kinds of new things. (There is nothing technically wrong with this sentence. However, you could get rid of the excess verbiage to tighten it up and make for stronger writing. Such as: Still in the crate, he smelled all kinds of new things.)
She made the car move with a big wheel[,] and there was music coming from in front of him and a few other places, too. (Use a comma to separate two independent clauses {aka complete sentences} that are joined with a conjunction.)
She put his crate in the front seat of the car, and faced the opening towards her. (Don't need a comma after the word 'car.' You only need to use a comma when each part before and after the 'and' are each a complete sentence.)
He kept looking up at her face (I don't think you need this. You already told the reader, in the previous paragraph, that his eyes kept going back to her face. If you eliminated that part and reworded slightly, it would tighten it up and read stronger. Such as: She spoke softly to him and repeated 'Harley' on a regular basis.)
He didn't want her to know he was studying (present) her, so every time she looked(past) at him, he looked(past) away. (You made unnecessary switches in past and present tenses.)
Water was running[,] and the face set some dishes in front of him (need comma where indicated)
The grey fur was pretty[,] and Harley wanted to get closer. (need comma where indicated)
He walked very slowly with his head up, and his tail held high and wagging. (This could be just me, but this sentence doesn't seem to flow smoothly. Maybe rearrange some words, such as: Head up, he walked slowly with his tail held high and wagging.)
was met with a huge black paw. The paw batted at him (The repetition of 'paw' in close proximity is awkward to read. Maybe replace the second 'paw' with the word 'it.')
This was an easy read about Harley's coming to his new home. Glad the cats didn't beat him up too bad!
Suzanne
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Patty,
The paragraph about Harley thinking he was going home to his mother and litter mates almost made me cry. I've always felt it must be devastating for puppies to be yanked from the known and thrown into the unknown. But it ended on a happy note with Harley cuddled, comfy, and happy in your arms.
I noticed a couple of things:
He was still in the crate, and he could smell all kinds of new things. (There is nothing technically wrong with this sentence. However, you could get rid of the excess verbiage to tighten it up and make for stronger writing. Such as: Still in the crate, he smelled all kinds of new things.)
She made the car move with a big wheel[,] and there was music coming from in front of him and a few other places, too. (Use a comma to separate two independent clauses {aka complete sentences} that are joined with a conjunction.)
She put his crate in the front seat of the car, and faced the opening towards her. (Don't need a comma after the word 'car.' You only need to use a comma when each part before and after the 'and' are each a complete sentence.)
He kept looking up at her face (I don't think you need this. You already told the reader, in the previous paragraph, that his eyes kept going back to her face. If you eliminated that part and reworded slightly, it would tighten it up and read stronger. Such as: She spoke softly to him and repeated 'Harley' on a regular basis.)
He didn't want her to know he was studying (present) her, so every time she looked(past) at him, he looked(past) away. (You made unnecessary switches in past and present tenses.)
Water was running[,] and the face set some dishes in front of him (need comma where indicated)
The grey fur was pretty[,] and Harley wanted to get closer. (need comma where indicated)
He walked very slowly with his head up, and his tail held high and wagging. (This could be just me, but this sentence doesn't seem to flow smoothly. Maybe rearrange some words, such as: Head up, he walked slowly with his tail held high and wagging.)
was met with a huge black paw. The paw batted at him (The repetition of 'paw' in close proximity is awkward to read. Maybe replace the second 'paw' with the word 'it.')
This was an easy read about Harley's coming to his new home. Glad the cats didn't beat him up too bad!
Suzanne
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Hi Suzanne; thank you so much for stopping by to read, review and critique. I always appreciate your reviews - you teach me something more about writing every time you pass through. I have made the edits you suggested.
~patty~
Comment from Cmelton
I can feel the tenseness of the situation. It is almost as if you are the animal. You have a very detailed and vivid imagination. I have cats and they have been around my mother-in-laws dogs and sometimes the encounters can be a little bit tense. I love your story and have read your stories before. Great job.
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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I can feel the tenseness of the situation. It is almost as if you are the animal. You have a very detailed and vivid imagination. I have cats and they have been around my mother-in-laws dogs and sometimes the encounters can be a little bit tense. I love your story and have read your stories before. Great job.
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind words and comments,
~patty~
Comment from damommy
A new arrival is always tense. I've been very fortunate in all the years of taking in strays, we've never had a catfight or anything.
My heart went our to Harley for a moment. He thought he was going to him birth mother. I know he'll be happy now with the new face. 8-)
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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A new arrival is always tense. I've been very fortunate in all the years of taking in strays, we've never had a catfight or anything.
My heart went our to Harley for a moment. He thought he was going to him birth mother. I know he'll be happy now with the new face. 8-)
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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thank you so much for reading along. I'm glad you enjoy the collection of pet stories. Harley will be the star in several more chapters,
~patty~
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mustangpatty1029
Such a cute and well told true of the Puppy (Harley)
as I told you before I had five Siberian huskies,but never told you I also had a white huge white cat and a sweet calico cat
I got such a kick out of the part of Haley ventured on his pwn and met with your two cats (strange looking creatures.
Was excellent
Gert
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Hello Mustangpatty1029
Such a cute and well told true of the Puppy (Harley)
as I told you before I had five Siberian huskies,but never told you I also had a white huge white cat and a sweet calico cat
I got such a kick out of the part of Haley ventured on his pwn and met with your two cats (strange looking creatures.
Was excellent
Gert
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Gert, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you are enjoying the 'Pet Stories' series. Harley is the star of several more chapters - yet to come,
~patty~
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Hi patty you are so welcome
Gert
Comment from Rasmine
This was so cute! I really liked it. Thank you, for writing it.
I hope everything went and is going okay and you are all right. Hope Mother's Day was special, and all, including your furry children, helped make it wonderful!
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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This was so cute! I really liked it. Thank you, for writing it.
I hope everything went and is going okay and you are all right. Hope Mother's Day was special, and all, including your furry children, helped make it wonderful!
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 16-May-2017
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Hi Rasmine; thank you so much for the lovely review of this story - I am okay and I did have a great Mother's Day.
~patty~
THANK YOU for the lovely shining stars
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, patty.
I hope you and all of your animal fiends are having a great day today. Now if you'll be kind enough to excuse me, I'm going to go ahead and jump headlong into your latest story...
Waking up in his familiar crate, he didn't feel alarmed, but he did know something was different. The car wasn't moving anymore, and the new face was getting out. Where was she going? Would she come and get him? Would she ever be back? He couldn't help himself, Harley let out a little whine.... I've often wondered if things like a move from one home to another is a bit traumatic on our pets. What goes through their minds when they arrive, I wonder? Things like; "Am I being left alone here?" Or, "Is my best human friend going to stay here with me too?"
It has to be a bit trying for them.
I don't believe my Gidget looks at me as being her "Master". If anything, she believes that she is the Master of me, heh-heh...
The growl set Harley into action, and his pace changed to a charge. He ran up to their faces, and was met with a huge black paw. The paw batted at him - hit his face, the top of his head, and then he heard a loud hiss. Within seconds, both animals were gone. They left the room, and he didn't know how to follow them. With his tail hanging down, he walked back to his only friend, the face.... I guess Harley learned a valuable lesson that first day in his brand new home. If a big, black furry beast is taking a cat nap, it is probably wise to just leave it alone...for now.
Another entertaining story from your animal files, Patty. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Hey, patty.
I hope you and all of your animal fiends are having a great day today. Now if you'll be kind enough to excuse me, I'm going to go ahead and jump headlong into your latest story...
Waking up in his familiar crate, he didn't feel alarmed, but he did know something was different. The car wasn't moving anymore, and the new face was getting out. Where was she going? Would she come and get him? Would she ever be back? He couldn't help himself, Harley let out a little whine.... I've often wondered if things like a move from one home to another is a bit traumatic on our pets. What goes through their minds when they arrive, I wonder? Things like; "Am I being left alone here?" Or, "Is my best human friend going to stay here with me too?"
It has to be a bit trying for them.
I don't believe my Gidget looks at me as being her "Master". If anything, she believes that she is the Master of me, heh-heh...
The growl set Harley into action, and his pace changed to a charge. He ran up to their faces, and was met with a huge black paw. The paw batted at him - hit his face, the top of his head, and then he heard a loud hiss. Within seconds, both animals were gone. They left the room, and he didn't know how to follow them. With his tail hanging down, he walked back to his only friend, the face.... I guess Harley learned a valuable lesson that first day in his brand new home. If a big, black furry beast is taking a cat nap, it is probably wise to just leave it alone...for now.
Another entertaining story from your animal files, Patty. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Hi Dean; thank you so much for reading along in my 'Pet Stories' series. Harley is the star of a few more chapters - he was the first dog I'd had in years. As always, your reviews are greatly appreciated,
~patty~
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You're welcome as always, Patty.
My pleasure.
Comment from dweigt
Great story from the puppy's POV! I didn't see any spags, or any anything that caught my eye and made me pause reading. I'm guessing this is part of a larger work, with Harley settling in to his new home?
Keep writing!
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Great story from the puppy's POV! I didn't see any spags, or any anything that caught my eye and made me pause reading. I'm guessing this is part of a larger work, with Harley settling in to his new home?
Keep writing!
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Hi; yes, this is a chapter in my book, Pet Stories. Harley has the starring role in quite a few chapters. Thank you for reading,
~patty~
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this well written my friend it is hard at the beginning when new animals are brought into the fold it can be traumatic at first until they settle in I enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Yes this well written my friend it is hard at the beginning when new animals are brought into the fold it can be traumatic at first until they settle in I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 15-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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Hi Jill; thank you so much for reading along with my pet stories. There are more adventures to come,
~patty~