Comment from RKagan

Excellent

Wow, this is riviting. I can just imagine how he felt when the terrorists broke into his house. When you say he killed his wife and daughter, you mean that he caused their death, correct? Because that wasn't clear to me. But I enjoyed your story, it is filled with suspense and keeps me wanting more.

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010

They were killed to lure him out. You may want to circle back and in particular read chapter 1 and 2 which give a bit more background. Thanks for reading and your kind words.

reply by RKagan on 21-Sep-2010

I have to go back and read the other chapters. Unfortuantly I read so much that I forget some things. I will go back.

reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010

It is a problem that I suffer from as well. As you know, lots more challenge in writing a book that posting stories. I had to circle back on your fabulous book, Zigeune Chovinahini. I do often wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just go back and post stand alone stories. Regards, Bill

Comment from Eddie Z

Excellent

This is a very exciting plot and you have written it extremely well. The characters are very well outlined and placed into their individual roles. Excellent reading.

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010

Thank you very much Eddie - first for reading and then for your kind words. Regards, Bill

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great chapter to your story, i enjoyed reading it, it has a lot of meat and no fat. great job. plus i like the fact there is no cussing. are dax and beth going to get together?

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010

Dax is still a wounded soul. Beth will play an important role.

Comment from RebelRose

Excellent

"With another sip, Dax continued. [no opening quotation marks needed here)

A very interesting chapter. I am an incurable romantic and I have already imagined that Dax and Beth may get something going on. LOL.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010

Thanks for the heads up. Another case when I could have sworn I made that correction. Chapter 7 won't answer your romantic question, but will set the stage! Thanks for reading and for your support. Regards, Bill

Comment from djuan

Excellent

I really enjoyed this piece, really well written.

I thought the situation warranted the dialogue between the characters, no problems there, and I think you've also managed to do exactly what any story is supposed to. Make the reader want more. I really have nothing in regards to constructive criticism to suggest. Well done.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010

Thanks for reading and for your kind remarks. If you haven't read previous chapters, 1, 2 and 3 would probably bring you up to speed. It is always a problem with a book for people nice enough to drop in, but not really understand what's up. Regards, Bill

reply by djuan on 20-Sep-2010

Thanks Bill, I'm really looking forward to reading the first 3 chapters.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This is another good addition to your story.

this is my mom Beth (comma after mom)

"With another sip, Dax continued, "It's a bit more complicated. (Omit the first quotation mark by With)

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010

Thanks Barbara - I very much appreciate you support and input! Warm regards, Bill

Comment from K. L. Bauman

Excellent

Wow. Some powerful history there for Dax. He's so upright and blunt about it, too. Another great chapter. I didn't notice any spags.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010

Thanks KL - I very much appreciate your support. Regards, Bill

Comment from Soledadpaz

Excellent

I don't know. Dax spilling his private beans so quickly makes him seem a little gullible. Someone as high up as he got would know how to keep his mouth shut. You know, need to know basis.

That said, this is very well written and a good read.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010

Well, get your point, but this is chapter six, so he certainly has known Lael for awhile. A great observation though, which I very much appreciate!

Comment from pickthorn

Excellent

Well, I can't say that I blame Dax for shooting the ambassador's son after what they did to his wife and daughter. Reminds me of Dirty Harry.LOL What I have read is really good. I need to get caught up on some of the chapters. Looking forward to the next one.

pickthorn

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010

Thanks Pick - I've outlined some of the next chapters, so will flesh them out and post soon. I very much appreciate that you read and for your kind comments. Regards, Bill

Comment from anabelle

Excellent

I'll bet it feels good for Dax to get that out into the open. It must be horrible to go through what he went survived. Life just isn't kind to some people.

Thanks for the good read.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2010

Hi Anabelle - I'm always glad when you visit. Dax will reveal some more. He's had quite a background! Warm regards, Bill