Selfish
You can't have it all87 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Bob. I admire your writing skills and in this particular story the denouement was a little bit of a surprise. A doorbell ringing was a superb way to end that story. Robert
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Hey Bob. I admire your writing skills and in this particular story the denouement was a little bit of a surprise. A doorbell ringing was a superb way to end that story. Robert
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Robert. Glad you enjoyed this one. : ) Bob
Comment from WalkerMan
This is gruesome, but (sadly) realistic, as such individuals do exist. What they all seem to have in common is no care whatever for the lives of others. It is a big relief to the reader to think that the doorbell ring means Ramirez will not be able to hide his deed -- even if he does not answer the door. I hope his state still has capital punishment.
Well done, and aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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This is gruesome, but (sadly) realistic, as such individuals do exist. What they all seem to have in common is no care whatever for the lives of others. It is a big relief to the reader to think that the doorbell ring means Ramirez will not be able to hide his deed -- even if he does not answer the door. I hope his state still has capital punishment.
Well done, and aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Mike. I appreciate your review. : ) Bob
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You are welcome, Bob. It was uncomfortable to read your well-written story, but its final sentence made it worthwhile. -- Mike
Comment from kahpot
Another very well written story, glad you brought this one back, "suck a golf ball through a garden hose" what a gal!, your description of how greed and arrogance throughout this story is marvellous as he can-she can't and that is what brought him undone? very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Another very well written story, glad you brought this one back, "suck a golf ball through a garden hose" what a gal!, your description of how greed and arrogance throughout this story is marvellous as he can-she can't and that is what brought him undone? very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Kahpot. I appreciate your input as always. : ) Bob
Comment from susand3022
Hi Bob, Well, this guy is a pretty psychotic dude isn't he! I'd feel sorry for the girlfriend, but I'm not really sure that I can. She really should have known better than to do a stupid thing like that to someone as wound up as him! He seems like a guy who's been somewhat unstable for a long time. Is there more? Susan
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Hi Bob, Well, this guy is a pretty psychotic dude isn't he! I'd feel sorry for the girlfriend, but I'm not really sure that I can. She really should have known better than to do a stupid thing like that to someone as wound up as him! He seems like a guy who's been somewhat unstable for a long time. Is there more? Susan
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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No more, Suze. This is just a short story. Glad you liked it. (or did you?..LOL) Bob
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I did like it... psychotic is always a fun read as it is so unpredictable. Why would I ask if there was more??? ;)
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LOL Bob
Comment from dragonpoet
This Ramirez sound like a gem. He has a perfect look and temperament for a happy marriage. Ha Ha. Well Candy wasn't as dumb as she seemed but forgetful of his temper. He will now go to jail and the government will get what's his.
I think the second sentence in the last paragraph above the line of asterisks is grammatically incorrect.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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This Ramirez sound like a gem. He has a perfect look and temperament for a happy marriage. Ha Ha. Well Candy wasn't as dumb as she seemed but forgetful of his temper. He will now go to jail and the government will get what's his.
I think the second sentence in the last paragraph above the line of asterisks is grammatically incorrect.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Thanks for reviewing, Joan. Bob
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No problem, Bob.
Joan
Comment from Tootsie55
This was one of your greatest, forest bloody posts, mate. I thought I had been over here for my second look. Loved all your typically unique expressions. Another ONE OFF, mate. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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This was one of your greatest, forest bloody posts, mate. I thought I had been over here for my second look. Loved all your typically unique expressions. Another ONE OFF, mate. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Hi, Mate. Thank you again for everything. Bless you. : ) Bob
Comment from nancyjam
Wow, Bob! Congrats! I can see how this won. Strong dialogue,
vividly descriptive images and characterization.
A good starter that would definitely prompt a reader to continue
the book.
Nancy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Wow, Bob! Congrats! I can see how this won. Strong dialogue,
vividly descriptive images and characterization.
A good starter that would definitely prompt a reader to continue
the book.
Nancy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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So glad you liked dit, Nancy. Good to see you back again : ) Bob
Comment from nomi338
What a clown. I absolutely hate men like that. I have no time or sympathy for these guys as the life leaves their worthless bodies. The chair, the gas chamber, firing squad or lethal injection is too good for them. To my thinking, guys like this are not worth the precious air they breathe. Sorry, but I really hate people like this. I blame them for so much of the violence against the innocent and helpless in the world.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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What a clown. I absolutely hate men like that. I have no time or sympathy for these guys as the life leaves their worthless bodies. The chair, the gas chamber, firing squad or lethal injection is too good for them. To my thinking, guys like this are not worth the precious air they breathe. Sorry, but I really hate people like this. I blame them for so much of the violence against the innocent and helpless in the world.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Hi Nolan. I tend to agree with you. People like that would be better off living on another planet. LOL Bless you and thanks for the six stars, my friend. : ) Bob
Comment from royowen
I guess that's what one gets for not having the complete person, beauty is not quite enough, and nor are brains, one would think that a combination of both would suffice, but narcissism will have its prize, and justice, though blind, will have hers. Beautifully written Bob, a grea story, fate comes knocking should be its title, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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I guess that's what one gets for not having the complete person, beauty is not quite enough, and nor are brains, one would think that a combination of both would suffice, but narcissism will have its prize, and justice, though blind, will have hers. Beautifully written Bob, a grea story, fate comes knocking should be its title, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Thank you roy. Glad you liked this one. : ) Bob
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Welcome Bob
Comment from Sankey
Sorry, no SIXES today. I must have missed this on it's first go around.
Loved the following maybe a Bob exclusive? body of an angel, but had the brains of an oyster
All these are good hehe...The woman could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. cooking was a city in China. Plenty of special "Bob" expression and gore. No spags.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Sorry, no SIXES today. I must have missed this on it's first go around.
Loved the following maybe a Bob exclusive? body of an angel, but had the brains of an oyster
All these are good hehe...The woman could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. cooking was a city in China. Plenty of special "Bob" expression and gore. No spags.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thank you Geoff. I appreciate you checking in. Sixes not a prerequisite. : ) Bob