Ex-Wife's Outfits
Daughter plays Mom.34 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
Thesis...
what a great story will simply using dialogue...
I was clearly able to visualize the story and didn't know which way it would turn...
Excellent story for a family placed in uncomfortable situations like that!
John
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
  |
Thesis...
what a great story will simply using dialogue...
I was clearly able to visualize the story and didn't know which way it would turn...
Excellent story for a family placed in uncomfortable situations like that!
John
Comment Written 23-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
-
Thanks, John. I appreciate your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it. - Thesis
Comment from Rama Rao
That, sir, is an excellent short story indeed.
It's well written and eminently readable.
I liked the way Becky had solved the small problem.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
|
That, sir, is an excellent short story indeed.
It's well written and eminently readable.
I liked the way Becky had solved the small problem.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
-
Hi, Ramarao. Thanks for reading my story. I appreciate your comments. - Thesis
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Many of the mother's at the school I teach at are professional women, and I don't mean lawyers. Anyway, when they pick up their children they are not wearing very many cloths. The father's who pick up their children like the view. Anyway, one day another mother took it upon herself to tell a mother that she should not expose her breasts in an elementary school. Holy cow, did the cat fight ever begin. We had to call the police.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
|
Many of the mother's at the school I teach at are professional women, and I don't mean lawyers. Anyway, when they pick up their children they are not wearing very many cloths. The father's who pick up their children like the view. Anyway, one day another mother took it upon herself to tell a mother that she should not expose her breasts in an elementary school. Holy cow, did the cat fight ever begin. We had to call the police.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
-
I like how you describe the "professional women", Barbara. I'm sure the father's get an eye full. It must have been pretty intense to get the police involved. - John
Comment from misscookie
That out fit is a little to much
As the sayong goes out of the mouth of babes.
sometimes people are not aware what they are wAERING IS RUINING THEIR PERSONALITY AND RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
That out fit is a little to much
As the sayong goes out of the mouth of babes.
sometimes people are not aware what they are wAERING IS RUINING THEIR PERSONALITY AND RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
You are right, Misscookie. That dress is a little too revealing. I wanted her daughter to be the one to tell her, kind of a reverse role - that it embarassed her that her mom wore such a dress. I also wanted the daughtere to do it in a way thatthe mom would recover and maintain her relationship with the daughter. - Thesis
-
It was very well done. you did an excellcent job.
Comment from Sandollar
I liked this very much but the action tags made it a story and the contest called for dialogue between two people.
As a story, it's very good and the readers will probably love it. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Loved the photo. The ex definitely wouldn't have been allowed in my house wearing that.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
I liked this very much but the action tags made it a story and the contest called for dialogue between two people.
As a story, it's very good and the readers will probably love it. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Loved the photo. The ex definitely wouldn't have been allowed in my house wearing that.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
HA. Sand, I knew you were a tough one, lol. - Regards - John
Comment from WRITER1
It seems the girl has more sense than the father had. But then again, maybe he liked the girls hanging around. Good story and one I think some people could learn from.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
It seems the girl has more sense than the father had. But then again, maybe he liked the girls hanging around. Good story and one I think some people could learn from.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
LOL. I think that may be the case, Writer. After all, the girls are usually welcome everywhere, except in another woman's home, especially if the other woman is the new wife. - Thesis
Comment from missy98writer
John,
I know how you men love a great set of big ones and I guess the ex was proud to show hers in a slutty dress. Good for the daughter handling the situation. Excellent dialogue and writing. You've written another winning story in my opinion. Your story is a real contender in the writing prompt. Another photo of a stunning woman you've used to accompany your story. It looks line the husband was put in the middle of the ex and current wife. I really liked the spunk on the daughter's part to help out her step-mother. Most kids hate the step-mother. Stellar characterization using mainly dialogue.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
John,
I know how you men love a great set of big ones and I guess the ex was proud to show hers in a slutty dress. Good for the daughter handling the situation. Excellent dialogue and writing. You've written another winning story in my opinion. Your story is a real contender in the writing prompt. Another photo of a stunning woman you've used to accompany your story. It looks line the husband was put in the middle of the ex and current wife. I really liked the spunk on the daughter's part to help out her step-mother. Most kids hate the step-mother. Stellar characterization using mainly dialogue.
Melissa.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
Thank you, Melissa. I wanted the daughter to be he voice of reason in this story. The new wife was too angry, blaming the husband for the ex-wife's behavior. The daughter, to her credit, saw where this was going for dad, and brought closure to a volitale issue. - John
Comment from wierdgrace
This is excellent as always, and you will have a great chance at this contest, I will watch for it, thank you so much for sharing, and no errors I could see, the characters are the best, and the picture perfect.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
This is excellent as always, and you will have a great chance at this contest, I will watch for it, thank you so much for sharing, and no errors I could see, the characters are the best, and the picture perfect.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
Thanks for your encouragement, Grace. I always appreciate you stopping by. - John
Comment from irishauthorme
Ha, you had me going again there, I got stuck on the picture(Where do you keep coming up with these beautiful ladies?), the story was a great echo from the lovely blond. Neat conclusion. irish
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
Ha, you had me going again there, I got stuck on the picture(Where do you keep coming up with these beautiful ladies?), the story was a great echo from the lovely blond. Neat conclusion. irish
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
LOl. My wanton women are many. I have a whole list of women. Some I've known, others I wanted to, others, well...enough said. - John
Comment from lola29
You would think a woman would be savvy enough to know how to dress appropriately, but maybe not. The current wife, Nancy, should have grown a stronger spine spoke up for herself. Great story.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
|
You would think a woman would be savvy enough to know how to dress appropriately, but maybe not. The current wife, Nancy, should have grown a stronger spine spoke up for herself. Great story.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
-
I agree, Lola. But, some women like hanging things over their husband's head. I prefer self sufficient women. If they need back-up, I'm right there to help. - John
