POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Misty morning"When I dabble at things.....
14 total reviews
Comment from jlivory
This is a very good usage of Haiku. You can't go wrong when talking about the sun. The artwork goes very well with your scribe. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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This is a very good usage of Haiku. You can't go wrong when talking about the sun. The artwork goes very well with your scribe. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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jlivory
Thank you for the kind review. You made me feel a little better. The review just before you said I ruined the poem because I talked of an indoor sun experience but showed an outdoor sunrise.
Never heard of the sun rising inside my house..LOL Thank you so much...
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I'm sorry, I said what? "The review just before you said I ruined the poem because I talked of an indoor sun experience but showed an outdoor sunrise." I said this? I don't remember saying anything like this and if I did, sounds like i didn't say what I really meant. (Apologies)
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NO NO NO They said I ruined the poem...You are the one that was most gracious...They said I didn't write it right. Sorry if I wasn't clear. You made me feel real good....they didn't
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You did an excellent job! We have a lot of people here that majored in grammar, punctuation, etc., and their are many facets of poetry that don't go by sentence structure or what i previously mentioned. That's what makes writing a joy. One man's dislike, is another person's love, keep writing my friend!
Comment from rhymer1
I award a five and now take you to task. You offew an illustration of an outdoor sunrise and your poem offers a visual of an indoor sunrise experience. This ruins both.
Slainte, rhymer1
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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I award a five and now take you to task. You offew an illustration of an outdoor sunrise and your poem offers a visual of an indoor sunrise experience. This ruins both.
Slainte, rhymer1
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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rhymer
A poet I'm not and I guess maybe I shouldn't be if I have to pick a picture that shows an indoor sunrise...Never saw one before. But thank you for bringing it to my attention. Thanks for trying to set me straight...probably not possible. Smiles
Comment from adewpearl
I love the playful satori as the speaker greets the morning sun after a night of shadows, thunder and lightning - truly effective concrete imagery and excellent contrast between the first two lines and the happy-ending satori :-) Brooke
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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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I love the playful satori as the speaker greets the morning sun after a night of shadows, thunder and lightning - truly effective concrete imagery and excellent contrast between the first two lines and the happy-ending satori :-) Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Brooke
Thank you...thank you...thank you...I am always at odds when I post these and my first review said I messed up...Gave me a three and said my lines needed to be reversed. I am thankful that your comments boosted my confidence. Smiles, Carol
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I just realized out of habit I signed my name...sorry!
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I detest the whole blind/secret thing - I consider myself a person of integrity and assume others on the site are too - if anyone suspects my knowing a writer's identity will influence my vote, that person is insulting me. I refuse to participate in blind contests because of this and because I then give up fan notification even AFTER the contest ends. Don't get me started or I'll rant on and on. LOL
Comment from lbvern
I love the photo and the first and third lives. I am unsure about the second how it fits between the two. Are you imaginging the break in the storm? Perhaps that should be first. Would you have shadows on the wall if the sun were not already there? Food for thought, what would happen if you switched lines one and two, altering the meter in each? I'd love to see the storm break, then shadows, then the Aaah! effect. I think that could make a stronger moment. Nicely inspired. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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I love the photo and the first and third lives. I am unsure about the second how it fits between the two. Are you imaginging the break in the storm? Perhaps that should be first. Would you have shadows on the wall if the sun were not already there? Food for thought, what would happen if you switched lines one and two, altering the meter in each? I'd love to see the storm break, then shadows, then the Aaah! effect. I think that could make a stronger moment. Nicely inspired. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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obvem
Sorry my poem wasn't your cup of tea. I'll consider your suggestions. Thanks for the review. Carol