POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Sittin' an' a Rockin'"When I dabble at things.....
45 total reviews
Comment from Oatmeal
Begin Again,
Very engrossing. Very nicely written. Vivid impressions and rich narration, all lines formatted very well.The arrangement is understandable and effective.
It is completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Begin Again,
Very engrossing. Very nicely written. Vivid impressions and rich narration, all lines formatted very well.The arrangement is understandable and effective.
It is completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Oatmeal
Thanks so much for your kind review. I appreciate the comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Telperion
Ha-ha-ha. I like it!
The chorus is crazy! I would put it as a ringtone on my phone if I could. :)
And some criticism: the whole song it's too long for a blues. It's lovely, it's paced, but it's too long. Firs too long for each line, but mainly as a whole.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Ha-ha-ha. I like it!
The chorus is crazy! I would put it as a ringtone on my phone if I could. :)
And some criticism: the whole song it's too long for a blues. It's lovely, it's paced, but it's too long. Firs too long for each line, but mainly as a whole.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Telperion
Don't ask me...I know nothing about song writing. This was just one of those whims. Everyone can take it or leave for just what it is...a fun write. Carol
Comment from nora arjuna
oh you are full of talent talent, carol. now you also write interesting song lyrics. i enjoyed the fun read (with a certain tune lol). good luck to you!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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oh you are full of talent talent, carol. now you also write interesting song lyrics. i enjoyed the fun read (with a certain tune lol). good luck to you!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Arjuna
Can't believe it myself. Wrote another one this morning "We Shall Never Be Apart". I think a strange muse is placing these words in my mind at night and I simply get up and write. Thanks for the kind review. CArol
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muse, LOL. i just posted an acrostic for mine. will check yours.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
I am no good at judging songs lyrics but I could see this as a song it reads well and the presentation is very good good luck in the contest regards Fuller
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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I am no good at judging songs lyrics but I could see this as a song it reads well and the presentation is very good good luck in the contest regards Fuller
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Fuller
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I didn't think I was any good at it either, but people seem to be enjoying it. Puts a smile on my face anyway! Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from second thought
This poem has a terrible ending. I say that because i thought the guy would have learned a lesson. Instead he continues in his downfall. Nevertheless, that is real life for so many people. Sounds like a hit record to me.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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This poem has a terrible ending. I say that because i thought the guy would have learned a lesson. Instead he continues in his downfall. Nevertheless, that is real life for so many people. Sounds like a hit record to me.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Second thought
NO, actually, he did find someone new, forgot the booze and is trying again. The last stanza has him singing his song in her sweet ear. Thanks for the review. CArol
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It seems to me the last line that mentions the booze shows he continues to drink while singing. Anyway its kind of Johnny Cash kind of song.
Comment from MJMuraco
These lyrics could make for a great song. The photo was perfect for the setting of this song. You did an awesome job and I really enjoyed this read.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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These lyrics could make for a great song. The photo was perfect for the setting of this song. You did an awesome job and I really enjoyed this read.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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MJMuraco
It was real fun to write too. Glad you liked it. "Especially his toothless smile". Thanks again Carol
Comment from pixiemillie
Got a great feeling of blues in this write, Carol. Love the toothless grin- -there must be something else to this guy that he attracts a young lady in ribbon and lace- -must be that sittin', singin' and rockin' Well done- -got the music for it- -can you hum a few bars?
Good luck with this real bluesy song.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Got a great feeling of blues in this write, Carol. Love the toothless grin- -there must be something else to this guy that he attracts a young lady in ribbon and lace- -must be that sittin', singin' and rockin' Well done- -got the music for it- -can you hum a few bars?
Good luck with this real bluesy song.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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Pixie
Until I joined fanstory, I did not believe I would ever write a song, now I have written 3 or 4, BUT there is no way I am going to start humming or singing...Even the frogs might croak! Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from HalfHoff
First of all, you could not have chosen a better picture to accompany your entry ... who doesn't or still isn't in love with this man? I can hear him singing this in my mind, wish I could for realllzzzzzeeez. Best of luck to you at voting time! Lea Ann
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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First of all, you could not have chosen a better picture to accompany your entry ... who doesn't or still isn't in love with this man? I can hear him singing this in my mind, wish I could for realllzzzzzeeez. Best of luck to you at voting time! Lea Ann
Comment Written 05-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2009
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HalfHoff
Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the artwork, it came with the contest. But I am glad that you enjoyed the song. It was fun and I thought the picture perfect too. Thanks again
Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Suzie B
Carol my friend, you rock. This is a marvellous bluesy number...the rythm is what causes blues to be blues...you got it down fine...the chorus may be repeated once to often maybe? depends on the length of the verses so i'm not certain on that one.
This is a great entry...and I wish you the best of luck .
hugs
Suzie
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009
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Carol my friend, you rock. This is a marvellous bluesy number...the rythm is what causes blues to be blues...you got it down fine...the chorus may be repeated once to often maybe? depends on the length of the verses so i'm not certain on that one.
This is a great entry...and I wish you the best of luck .
hugs
Suzie
Comment Written 05-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009
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Suzie
I haven't the slightest idea of what I was doing so if someone likes it that's fine. I'm easy...It was fun and that's why I write...Thanks so much. CArol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
There's nothing like a good ol' blues song. You been taken lessons from BB King? You did a great job with it. I loved the chorus. It was fun to read. Great job. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009
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There's nothing like a good ol' blues song. You been taken lessons from BB King? You did a great job with it. I loved the chorus. It was fun to read. Great job. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009
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Barbara
So glad you enjoyed the song. It was fun to write. How's Steven and Leya doing... Thanks for the review. Carol