Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Saying Goodbye"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
43 total reviews
Comment from pixiemillie
Excellent use of the words for the contest. This is the only one I've read which didn't take place right at the beach or had somebody killed. Very appropriate artwork and the burning of the inheritance frees the soul of this abused individual- -leaving that past to the ashes where, for him, it belongs.
Well written, excellent format, the font adds a depth and of course makes it an easier read for old eyes, a very short write but the stage is set in the opener and the conclusion expresses a finality. Nothing amiss. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Excellent use of the words for the contest. This is the only one I've read which didn't take place right at the beach or had somebody killed. Very appropriate artwork and the burning of the inheritance frees the soul of this abused individual- -leaving that past to the ashes where, for him, it belongs.
Well written, excellent format, the font adds a depth and of course makes it an easier read for old eyes, a very short write but the stage is set in the opener and the conclusion expresses a finality. Nothing amiss. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Pixiemillie
I am so pleased that you understood why he needed to burn the house. Not everyone accepted that as necessary. I thought of it as removing the thorns from his rose garden. Thanks so much for reviewing. Carol
Comment from hotstuff
What a sad story. You filled the criteria very well. Continue with this story, it could lead to a book I feel sure as this chapter was gripping.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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What a sad story. You filled the criteria very well. Continue with this story, it could lead to a book I feel sure as this chapter was gripping.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Hotstuff
This was just a flash fiction story but I could see how it could be expanded. Thanks so much. Carol
Comment from fastdigits
Your entire presentation from the
choice of art work to your artful
words which flowed like the flames
of the pyre that closed the door on
this place of evil for a child that
you so well crafted.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Your entire presentation from the
choice of art work to your artful
words which flowed like the flames
of the pyre that closed the door on
this place of evil for a child that
you so well crafted.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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fastdigits
Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I enjoy how the story hints at so much more than it actually tells. I like too how he acquires his own version of peaceful solitude, by burning down all the bad memories, which the house contained.
Good luck in the contest.
Juliette
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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I enjoy how the story hints at so much more than it actually tells. I like too how he acquires his own version of peaceful solitude, by burning down all the bad memories, which the house contained.
Good luck in the contest.
Juliette
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Juliette
I am glad that you understood that his sanctuary would once more be peaceful if the structure was no longer there. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from findingmyroom
This effort deserves a top rating. You used the words seamlessly to create a powerful piece. Images like "The sting of his father's hand and every hateful word still burned inside his mind" really carry weight. Intentional or not, the word "burned" is a great foreshadow of the final act in the story.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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This effort deserves a top rating. You used the words seamlessly to create a powerful piece. Images like "The sting of his father's hand and every hateful word still burned inside his mind" really carry weight. Intentional or not, the word "burned" is a great foreshadow of the final act in the story.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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findingmyroom
Thank you so much for your review and the kind words. I too wanted to connect the abuse more directly with the actual destruction of the home. You are the only one who saw it or at least mentioned ...Bravo! Many thought I was wrong to burn the house, saying the pain would be there. I say he took the thorns from the otherwise peaceful rose garden. I am humbled by your stars. Thank you again. Carol
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You're welcome!
Comment from dmjones
Hi Carol this was a hard prompt having to use certain words. You did very well with a story that makes total sense along with having an emotional impact. Good Luck.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Hi Carol this was a hard prompt having to use certain words. You did very well with a story that makes total sense along with having an emotional impact. Good Luck.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Donna
I wanted it to show that he still loved the place, had many good memories and merely wanted to remove the "eye sore" from the setting. Taking the thorns from the roses, I guess. Thanks so much for the kind review. Carol
Comment from becky7777
oh this has a very sad undertone to it but makes one happy that he found solice in burning the place. great story. good luck in the contest.
Becky
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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oh this has a very sad undertone to it but makes one happy that he found solice in burning the place. great story. good luck in the contest.
Becky
Comment Written 21-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2009
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Becky
To him the land was beautiful and the house was a thorn. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you so much. Carol
Comment from Phil Kitom
This is an excellent contest entry Carol
that uses the words in an uncontrived
way to produce and excellent poem.
All the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2009
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This is an excellent contest entry Carol
that uses the words in an uncontrived
way to produce and excellent poem.
All the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2009
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Phil
I thank you so much for your kind review. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Carol
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I did indeed... I wrote one myself, but found there were no places left to enter. Oh well I'll put it by for now.
Excellent work Carol and congratulations on your recent win...
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Thank you so much! I never thought I'd win...Carol
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Wow, what a powerful tale you told in less than a hundred and fifty words. It was my pleasure to read, as always.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2009
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Wow, what a powerful tale you told in less than a hundred and fifty words. It was my pleasure to read, as always.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2009
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El Gato
Thank you for your kind comments. I appreciate your reading and always your reviews. Take care Carol
Comment from L.lora
It is simply amazing how much can be said with so few very well chosen words. You did an excellent job with this story, from the brief descriptions that were just enough to the closing lines..a very charged and poignant write. Lora
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2009
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It is simply amazing how much can be said with so few very well chosen words. You did an excellent job with this story, from the brief descriptions that were just enough to the closing lines..a very charged and poignant write. Lora
Comment Written 21-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2009
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Lora
I am so glad you enjoyed and understood the meaning behind the story. I really appreciate your comments. Carol
