Reviews from

POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Always One"
When I dabble at things.....

33 total reviews 
Comment from anabelle
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I know nothing about the technical aspects of poetry. To be honest I know hardly anything about anything! :-( But, this looks like a really good poem to me. It begins with two people in love, and promises are made, and then broken and one is left behind (or stays behind) and there is only one again.

Really beautiful. Thanks. Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009
    Anabelle...

    Thank you for your kind comments. They are greatly appreciated. Carol C
Comment from mslyla216
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This is a most profound poem which tells a story that all too often happens. We start so in love until we are almost one being. then something happens to change that and we are one again, having come full circle. This tetractys poem is very good, but the way you have chosen to present it makes it visually beautiful as well. mslyla

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009
    mslyla

    The story was created from my son's tragic loss after four years of being together, without warning she left. Thank you for reading and sharing your kind comments. Carol C
Comment from Soulester
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You did a gorgeous job on the tetractys, Begin Again! It reads so smoothly and is so expressive, it seems the poem form was made just for this poem. I see you did two doubles, too. Great job! Mary

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009
    Mary

    My ego grows with your kind words. Thank you so much. It is great appreciated. Carol C
Comment from Carol D Parker
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This is a beautiful set of tetractys poems. Excellent how you take the reader from the happy to the sad. Beautiful words and sentimentality. It drips like honey from the verses. Your vocabulary is amazing. Good luck in the contest.
Delora

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Delora...

    How utterly wonderful for you to say so many kind words. I greatly appreciate your comments. Thank you. Carol
Comment from LateBloomer
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Hello Begin Again,

I'm no expert on tetractys poetry, but this poem and its sentiment is excellent.

This poem reads and flows well and I have no suggestion for improvement.

Regards, LateBloomer

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    LateBloomer...

    I'm no expert either! But I greatly appreciate all your compliments. Thank you so much. Carol
Comment from words
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Well done tale of love lost.

The form seems fine to me.

Especially liked the closing set:

No longer side by side, now left behind,
teardrops falling,
sorrow comes,
I am
One.



 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Words...

    Thanks for your kind words. They are greatly appreciated. Carol C
Comment from Belinda
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Tetractys or not, this is good. You describe feelings, togetherness, fairness, which become ruined after the "one' becomes one in the true sense 0f the word. See you in future tetractys's...

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Belinda...

    Thank you for understanding the pain when forever isn't as long as we would like. I appreciate your generous comments.

    Thanks again Carol
Comment from BellaSpirit
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Begin Again,

I am not experienced at writing tetractys, as I have only written one, but this looks fantastic to me. It has a lovely presentation with an emotional tug to the heart. You put your heart into this and it shows.

Good luck in the contest.
BellaSpirit

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Bella...

    Forever doesn't last as long anymore...at least for some. Thanks for your kind and generous remarks concerning my poem. They are greatly appreciated. Carol
Comment from skye
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What a wonderful journey, but so very sad.
Love, two in love, now one left behind... always a sad image and full of pain.
Very well done. Great joining of this style of poem into a long one.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Skye...

    Thank you for your kind and generous review. This was my first attempt so I appreciate the favorable replies. Thanks again Carol
Comment from Donovan
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I think you did well, even with all of the rules. I think your messages, though sad and depressing, is real and one that many have experienced.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Donovan..

    My inspiration, unfortunately, came from my son whose fiance walked away after a four year relationship. She said forever...but just how long is anyone's idea of forever.

    Thanks for your kind and generous remarks. Carol
reply by Donovan on 30-Jun-2009
    I always thought raising teenagers was tough..then they became adult children and ..yikes...who knows..back to the teenage years.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009
    Today's world puts so many demands on them to be successful, go to college, have a home, etc. etc. the simple most impportant things get lost. My heart breaks for them. Carol