Trial Run
Perhaps it's time to see a doctor.26 total reviews
Comment from Signaler
Hello Bob, Oh my gosh! Well it is insomnia that has me up and reading, but this 100 word dash was worth it. Some flash fiction. I want to write like you when the writer in me grows up. Wonderful!
Keep Your Angel On Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler
reply by the author on 20-May-2009
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Hello Bob, Oh my gosh! Well it is insomnia that has me up and reading, but this 100 word dash was worth it. Some flash fiction. I want to write like you when the writer in me grows up. Wonderful!
Keep Your Angel On Your Shoulder,
As Always, Signaler
Comment Written 20-May-2009
reply by the author on 20-May-2009
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Wow! Good to hear from yhou again, Signaler! I have been away for 2 years, but missed your writing...Thanks for the wonderful review...Bob (Mastery)
Comment from summerbreeze80
This is a great story and although the whole dream thing is used a lot in stories, I think it fit well with the story. It makes you wonder if there is any basis for the dream as in does he really foster those thoughts while he is awake
reply by the author on 20-May-2009
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This is a great story and although the whole dream thing is used a lot in stories, I think it fit well with the story. It makes you wonder if there is any basis for the dream as in does he really foster those thoughts while he is awake
Comment Written 20-May-2009
reply by the author on 20-May-2009
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Thanks so much, Summerbreeze...I truly appreciate you taking the time to look at my work, and I will be watching for yours from now on...Thanks again...Bob (Mastery)
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Thanks so much, Summerbreeze...I truly appreciate you taking the time to look at my work, and I will be watching for yours from now on...Thanks again...Bob (Mastery)
Comment from cooljules
I loved the metaphor of the body blow sounding like a wet newspaper hitting the porch with a wet crack. That metaphor was so intense and I could picture it so clearly, it really made the story. You also used a great economy of language - you conveyed a lot of information in 100 words. Is this a current contest or did this one run already?
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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I loved the metaphor of the body blow sounding like a wet newspaper hitting the porch with a wet crack. That metaphor was so intense and I could picture it so clearly, it really made the story. You also used a great economy of language - you conveyed a lot of information in 100 words. Is this a current contest or did this one run already?
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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This is a current contest, cool one. Thanks so much for your fine review and time...Bob (Mastery)
Comment from babylonia
LOL insomnia is better than what? just kidding. nicely done. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent. made me smile. good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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LOL insomnia is better than what? just kidding. nicely done. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent. made me smile. good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Thanks so much, Barb...Glad you liked it...Bob (Mastery)
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bob,
you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
Comment from IndianaIrish
Wow, Bob, this is a doozy! I especially liked the title, as it leaves the reader thinking that perhaps it is way more than a dream. Captivating story...it's great to have you back!
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Wow, Bob, this is a doozy! I especially liked the title, as it leaves the reader thinking that perhaps it is way more than a dream. Captivating story...it's great to have you back!
Indy :>)
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Thanks so much, Irish...I love your reviews...Bob
Comment from pilarblue
Yikes! This is a very well written story that I wanted to continue reading. I would be very afraid if I knew my husband dreamt something like this. I might hide a wrench of my own. LOL. Great work. -Pilar
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Yikes! This is a very well written story that I wanted to continue reading. I would be very afraid if I knew my husband dreamt something like this. I might hide a wrench of my own. LOL. Great work. -Pilar
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Thanks so much, pilarblue...I lookforward to reviewing your work also...Bob (Mastery)
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Thanks so much, pilarblue...I lookforward to reviewing your work also...Bob (Mastery)
Comment from nor84
Good job, Bob. I'd put a period after 'fostered', though and start the next sentence with 'Instead' OR you could use a semicolon to join these two sentences, I think.
Hmm... It was all just a dream?
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Good job, Bob. I'd put a period after 'fostered', though and start the next sentence with 'Instead' OR you could use a semicolon to join these two sentences, I think.
Hmm... It was all just a dream?
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Thanks so much, Norma. I appreciate your comments. Dream on as they say...LOL...Bob
Comment from gauntlet
That was very violent, Bob. I'm glad it was just a dream. That was a lot of suspense packed into 100 words there. Is that the end of the story?
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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That was very violent, Bob. I'm glad it was just a dream. That was a lot of suspense packed into 100 words there. Is that the end of the story?
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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LOL, thanks, Gauntlet..I gues it is, however, I could build on it, eh? Thanks again, Bob
Comment from Annmuma
Insomnia is better!! Nice surprise ending, but I fear for his wife. lol. Lots of good entries in this contest. Good luck. ann
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Insomnia is better!! Nice surprise ending, but I fear for his wife. lol. Lots of good entries in this contest. Good luck. ann
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Thanks so much, Ann..Good luck to you also...Bob
Comment from hvysmker
Lately Alex's life was not shaped so much by the compulsions that he fostered, instead it was just a matter of a wrong turn in an angry moment and a disregard for consequences.
*** Should be two sentences, Bob.
He awoke up sweating in a bright shaft of sunlight through the window.
*** He woke up, sweating......
Charlie
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Lately Alex's life was not shaped so much by the compulsions that he fostered, instead it was just a matter of a wrong turn in an angry moment and a disregard for consequences.
*** Should be two sentences, Bob.
He awoke up sweating in a bright shaft of sunlight through the window.
*** He woke up, sweating......
Charlie
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Hey, Charlie...Thanks for your input.. I agree with the "awoke" thingie, in fact I thought I already had corrected it...No thanks on the sentence thing...it's really a matter of choice, I guess..Thanks again for your time...Bob (Mastery)
