CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Birth"A collection of poetry
44 total reviews
Comment from debskatz
Hey Sue,
Nice one! And love the picture. I still don't get why it has to be one or the other. Geez, who are we to know God's method of doing things?
Thanks for sharing & good luck in the contest!
smiles,
deb
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Hey Sue,
Nice one! And love the picture. I still don't get why it has to be one or the other. Geez, who are we to know God's method of doing things?
Thanks for sharing & good luck in the contest!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 04-Apr-2009
Comment from becky7777
very interesting take on the word birth. and your last line
"One atom or one God--at odds"
really makes one think.
good luck in the contest.
Becky
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very interesting take on the word birth. and your last line
"One atom or one God--at odds"
really makes one think.
good luck in the contest.
Becky
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from MJMuraco
I am fascinated by the concept of writing poetry with such strict restrictions. This clarity pyramid is done so well and the imagery is great. Good luck in this contest.
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I am fascinated by the concept of writing poetry with such strict restrictions. This clarity pyramid is done so well and the imagery is great. Good luck in this contest.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from skye
You have all the elements...
all the discussions...
in these short sharp lines.
Wonderful use of the photo....
great thought-provoking poem.
I personally believe in God's plan and creation.
Well done.
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You have all the elements...
all the discussions...
in these short sharp lines.
Wonderful use of the photo....
great thought-provoking poem.
I personally believe in God's plan and creation.
Well done.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from jmyron
You seem to have followed the format well. It was at first incomprehensible, but with the author's note it finally made sense. My only critique would be in tense. The line 'by a fluke or fashioned;' is a mixed tense. Fluke is present tense and fashioned is past tense, making this line slightly awkward. Try using fashion in your minds eye. It is the same number of syllables and in present tense.
John
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You seem to have followed the format well. It was at first incomprehensible, but with the author's note it finally made sense. My only critique would be in tense. The line 'by a fluke or fashioned;' is a mixed tense. Fluke is present tense and fashioned is past tense, making this line slightly awkward. Try using fashion in your minds eye. It is the same number of syllables and in present tense.
John
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from Soulester
This is a very interesting poetic form, Sixteezkid. The requirements seem complicated, but you did it! your last line, "One atom or one God--at odds" is the perfect defining quote. Quite remarkable, really! Good luck in the contest.
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This is a very interesting poetic form, Sixteezkid. The requirements seem complicated, but you did it! your last line, "One atom or one God--at odds" is the perfect defining quote. Quite remarkable, really! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - Very thought-provoking. I have a theory (the Charlie is God Theory) that explains the Big Bang and God. I will have post that story some day. Nicely written poem and good luck in the contest. Charlie
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Sue - Very thought-provoking. I have a theory (the Charlie is God Theory) that explains the Big Bang and God. I will have post that story some day. Nicely written poem and good luck in the contest. Charlie
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from Carol D Parker
I love the way you used the clatity poem for this excellent thought-provoking poem. I love the last line, leaving the reader to decide for himself. Very clever.
Carol
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I love the way you used the clatity poem for this excellent thought-provoking poem. I love the last line, leaving the reader to decide for himself. Very clever.
Carol
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hi kiddo,
Clever and impactful poem. You have done an excellent job. I enjoyed every well written word. It surely is a fun and challenging contest and I wish you all the best.
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Whizpurr ^-^
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Hi kiddo,
Clever and impactful poem. You have done an excellent job. I enjoyed every well written word. It surely is a fun and challenging contest and I wish you all the best.
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Whizpurr ^-^
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from jkhudson
Great job in presenting the two theories of creation. Giving the reader the chance to choose. How about that picture! If you turn your head ever so slightly to the left, the clouds look like God in His Heavens! Great writing!~:o) Jules
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Great job in presenting the two theories of creation. Giving the reader the chance to choose. How about that picture! If you turn your head ever so slightly to the left, the clouds look like God in His Heavens! Great writing!~:o) Jules
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009