Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is a frightenly heart-breaking story. You are telling it so well. I find it compelling that I keep reading. These are terrible things you are having to go through. I can only imagine how terrible it much have been for you at the time.

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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Thank you for your kind words. I may have already said this, but, it does have a happy ending.

Comment from chaswriter

Excellent

Smurphgirl - You are posting chapters faster than I can keep up. Another interesting chapter.

Some suggestions:

I was completely on my own(,) and(,) as each day passed, I sank deeper and deeper into a world of depression.

The pain continued to get worse(,) and I knew I should see a doctor

"Okay, now that you've got us all here(,) what is it you had to say that was so important?" Mom asked.

I looked Mom straight in the eyes and(, without hesitating(,) said, "I poured boiling water on it."

I hadn't seen my family for several months and suddenly having them in the same room( )filled me with a frightening sense of claustrophobia.

Instead, I felt myself start to shake(,) and(,) as the room slowly began to spin, I heard myself say, "SHIT!"

Charlie

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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2009

Again, thank you for your kind review. And also, for your suggestions. I can use all the hep I can get.