A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Things That Go Bump in the Night"Autobiography of abuse
13 total reviews
Comment from MercyWrites
I'll usually skip a book when I miss this many chapters, but I was intrigue by the start of the chapter. It was spooky when the girl try to say her prayer, then an evil voice answered her. You left the reader wanting more. I'm still learning about grammar, but I believe you should have a comma after this sentence, "As we marched into church(,)sister stood by the door.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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I'll usually skip a book when I miss this many chapters, but I was intrigue by the start of the chapter. It was spooky when the girl try to say her prayer, then an evil voice answered her. You left the reader wanting more. I'm still learning about grammar, but I believe you should have a comma after this sentence, "As we marched into church(,)sister stood by the door.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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Thanak you and you are correct, a comma is needed. Again, thank you for your input.
Comment from FredCollingwood
This story is great, and is very well written. I particularly liked the ending. Here are a couple of very minor things that you might want to look at.
Her father's abuse and the sudden (apperance) of frightening night terrors > appearance
Sitting on the front porch() I watched daddy clean the pond. I stood up and as I > add comma
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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This story is great, and is very well written. I particularly liked the ending. Here are a couple of very minor things that you might want to look at.
Her father's abuse and the sudden (apperance) of frightening night terrors > appearance
Sitting on the front porch() I watched daddy clean the pond. I stood up and as I > add comma
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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Thanks. I value your opinon. Corrections noted!
Comment from jojosug
I have read parts of this book before and I find it both distressing and riveting in equal measure. Distressing because of the content and riveting because it is so well written and clearly portrays how this child thinks and feels. Well done.
Jo
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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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I have read parts of this book before and I find it both distressing and riveting in equal measure. Distressing because of the content and riveting because it is so well written and clearly portrays how this child thinks and feels. Well done.
Jo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I realize it is difficult to read but I wanted to show the reader the horror from the child's point of view. Yes, it is distressing but necessary at times. Thank you for your input. I value your opinion.