CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 104 "Majestic"A collection of poetry
20 total reviews
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
This was a wonderful poem. For such a short and totally unpronouncable poem style, this was simply well done. (Is it pronounced, 'haku,' and sounds like 'hate u?' Who knows? Great sight to see suddenly erupt from nowhere right in front of you. Nope, wasn't saying, 'look at me,' but 'don't run over me, please. here I am.'
Well done, my friend.
Reggie
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2009
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Sue,
This was a wonderful poem. For such a short and totally unpronouncable poem style, this was simply well done. (Is it pronounced, 'haku,' and sounds like 'hate u?' Who knows? Great sight to see suddenly erupt from nowhere right in front of you. Nope, wasn't saying, 'look at me,' but 'don't run over me, please. here I am.'
Well done, my friend.
Reggie
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2009
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Pronounced HI-KOO. Now that you have that awful image of "hate" taken away from you, reading haiku and writing haiku is going to be your dream come true!!
Just wrote a haiku just for YOU! It's called "Reggie's Ranch"
Going to post it in a few minutes.
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue.
Firstly I'd suggest you go ta edit and 'center-text'.
Then click at mouse on start and finish, then 'save until the words are centralised top and bottom (as they are here, but goin ta edit sometimes dislodges the.
This is a wonderful vision and a once in a lifetime experience for you, brilliantly portrayed in vivid imagery.
I' no haiku master, but I understand no personification should be used. Not sure if that's the word I'm after, but the poem reads like it's YOU who is in the position of the occurence in the second line, whereas haiku should be a GENERAL obrevation. I'm not much good at explaining in prose, but hope ya get me drift.
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2009
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Hi, Sue.
Firstly I'd suggest you go ta edit and 'center-text'.
Then click at mouse on start and finish, then 'save until the words are centralised top and bottom (as they are here, but goin ta edit sometimes dislodges the.
This is a wonderful vision and a once in a lifetime experience for you, brilliantly portrayed in vivid imagery.
I' no haiku master, but I understand no personification should be used. Not sure if that's the word I'm after, but the poem reads like it's YOU who is in the position of the occurence in the second line, whereas haiku should be a GENERAL obrevation. I'm not much good at explaining in prose, but hope ya get me drift.
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2009
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It's now centered and looks much better. Changed 2nd line. I thank you again for your most honest review and helping me to write better! Love ya, Ray
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
What a beautiful memory. Your poem captured the moment nicely. The picture enhanced the experience for the reader. I found no errors. Good job.
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What a beautiful memory. Your poem captured the moment nicely. The picture enhanced the experience for the reader. I found no errors. Good job.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from fastdigits
Your words bring the sounds
of the parting of the ocean
to this beautiful giant who
erupts out into the open;
sights and sounds from deep
below.
Well done
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Your words bring the sounds
of the parting of the ocean
to this beautiful giant who
erupts out into the open;
sights and sounds from deep
below.
Well done
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from honeytree
I would feel the whale may be frightened after knowing of his brothers and sisters dying, in other parts of the world.
Great words written here.
Honeytree.
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I would feel the whale may be frightened after knowing of his brothers and sisters dying, in other parts of the world.
Great words written here.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from regardsTAJ
Been lucky enough to see the sight myself, actually quite a few times as I live on the South East Coast of South Africa where swimming with dolphins is not something extraordinary.
Vivid imagery in this haiku, with calm seas before the whale disrupts this in a show of all its glory, makes this a strikingly simple poetic work
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Been lucky enough to see the sight myself, actually quite a few times as I live on the South East Coast of South Africa where swimming with dolphins is not something extraordinary.
Vivid imagery in this haiku, with calm seas before the whale disrupts this in a show of all its glory, makes this a strikingly simple poetic work
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Another great one my friend. Simple, short, and straight to the point. A beautiful picture, also. The whale probably was saying -- "Going my way?" (LOL).
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Another great one my friend. Simple, short, and straight to the point. A beautiful picture, also. The whale probably was saying -- "Going my way?" (LOL).
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from easyeverett
Hi Sixteezkid. What an experience you share with us. I love whales or should I say I love the idea of whales. Not breach here in Iowa but Moby Dick is still read once a year by me and that means I have read it 59 times going back to seven years old. Loved brevity of the write in contrast to the larger than life photo. easy
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Hi Sixteezkid. What an experience you share with us. I love whales or should I say I love the idea of whales. Not breach here in Iowa but Moby Dick is still read once a year by me and that means I have read it 59 times going back to seven years old. Loved brevity of the write in contrast to the larger than life photo. easy
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from Diny
FANTASTIC picture first off!- What a sight!- this reads as a haiku and has the correct count fo rit-
you make it exciting to read with this picture along with your notes!- Write on-Diny
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FANTASTIC picture first off!- What a sight!- this reads as a haiku and has the correct count fo rit-
you make it exciting to read with this picture along with your notes!- Write on-Diny
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009
Comment from Jazh
Very nice haiku, and a perfect piece of artwork. This is something *I* have never seen, and I'm Australian! I really like the alliteration in the second line, and the rhythm of the third, contrasting. Well done. :)
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Very nice haiku, and a perfect piece of artwork. This is something *I* have never seen, and I'm Australian! I really like the alliteration in the second line, and the rhythm of the third, contrasting. Well done. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2009