CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 111 "The Great Experiment"A collection of poetry
22 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
fascinating reason for your rhyme scheme and final repetition - I like that! coming from Philly, site of the declaration and constitution and the painting, I say amen!! I like your tone of conviction.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
  |
fascinating reason for your rhyme scheme and final repetition - I like that! coming from Philly, site of the declaration and constitution and the painting, I say amen!! I like your tone of conviction.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Brooke, one of my favorite books is "John Adams" by David McCullough. The writing is so exquisite, I didn't want it to end. I do love American history. I have so much admiration for our Founding Fathers because this nation was formed in a 3 mile-an-hour world with a quill and going back and forth between here and France on rickety old boats! HA! And against the world's greatest Empire at the time. How can one not love that kind of history! And to appreciate the risks and sacrifices that faced. So, just felt like writing a bit in their honor. I have a travel goal and it is to spend at least a month in the Philly/Boston regions to really immerse myself where it all began. I'm babbling on! Thank you for your review. Much appreciated....Sue
Comment from Curt Mongold
...and miles to go before I sleep. One of my favorites too.
You did a great job witht this one cuz. I like the premise and the message is clear and strong.
Sincerely,
Curt
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
...and miles to go before I sleep. One of my favorites too.
You did a great job witht this one cuz. I like the premise and the message is clear and strong.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Cuz! Howz things?? So glad you like this piece. Thanks for your review and comments! :-)) Sue
Comment from Algernon
Great sentiments. Some are more equal than others.
Maybe America would do well on going back and building on the foundations of the founding fathers. The guys with the true grit, who fought for justice. New Orleans has shown the world an America we didn't know about. I didn't realise that you have to pay for health care, until my ex NY g/f got FBA and is high debt. I was stunned that an ambulance costs money as does having a broken leg fixed.
A patriotic poem, very well written. But it would be good to see the sick looked after, war hero's' housed. And a smaller divide between the have and have nots.
I'll be hanged for saying this. Yikes.
|
Great sentiments. Some are more equal than others.
Maybe America would do well on going back and building on the foundations of the founding fathers. The guys with the true grit, who fought for justice. New Orleans has shown the world an America we didn't know about. I didn't realise that you have to pay for health care, until my ex NY g/f got FBA and is high debt. I was stunned that an ambulance costs money as does having a broken leg fixed.
A patriotic poem, very well written. But it would be good to see the sick looked after, war hero's' housed. And a smaller divide between the have and have nots.
I'll be hanged for saying this. Yikes.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
A terrific poem, my friend. The descriptives are excellent and well written and the narration so smooth it allows us to read through it with ease. Great work, Sue.
Reggie
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
Sue,
A terrific poem, my friend. The descriptives are excellent and well written and the narration so smooth it allows us to read through it with ease. Great work, Sue.
Reggie
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Reggie, thank you for such a lovely review. So glad you like it! With warm regards, Sue
Comment from Charlie Crewes
Very well done. Appreciated the author's notes also. Liked the last two repetitive lines. " A quill to parchment" is a clever line. A story that is still unknown by many. Well written and purposeful.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
Very well done. Appreciated the author's notes also. Liked the last two repetitive lines. " A quill to parchment" is a clever line. A story that is still unknown by many. Well written and purposeful.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Charlie, thank your review and comments. And thank you for highlighting the line you enjoyed. Much appreciated...Sue
Comment from TinyTeena
Very patriotic poem. You have maintained the rhyme and rhythm throughout the poem. The story flows well. The repetition of the last two lines gives emphasis to the essence of the poem - "that all are equal,all are free"
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
Very patriotic poem. You have maintained the rhyme and rhythm throughout the poem. The story flows well. The repetition of the last two lines gives emphasis to the essence of the poem - "that all are equal,all are free"
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Thank you for review and specific comments. Am glad you liked to repetition of the last two lines :-)) Sue
Comment from Domino
Morning, Sue
Very interesting, thoughtful and clever.
Obviously I don't know much about your constitution, but the principles are spot on. Mind you, I'm not sure all are equal in any society, as the weak will always be exploited by the strong. The best we can do is put fair rules in place in a democracy, and hope for the best.
Nice one, Ray xx
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
Morning, Sue
Very interesting, thoughtful and clever.
Obviously I don't know much about your constitution, but the principles are spot on. Mind you, I'm not sure all are equal in any society, as the weak will always be exploited by the strong. The best we can do is put fair rules in place in a democracy, and hope for the best.
Nice one, Ray xx
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Yes, in reality, people will always exploit others. But, our Constitution still strives, along with it's amendments. And I'm grateful for that much. Our Founding Fathers were ever mindful of human-nature while writing it, and that is one aspect of their insight I admire. And "freedom of speech" is our most precious right.
Thank you, Ray, for your review and kind remarks.
Sue
Comment from laurelp
Very well done. You stayed within the parameters of the poem. You also put across a poem with strong mean and beauty. I really enjoyed this one.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
Very well done. You stayed within the parameters of the poem. You also put across a poem with strong mean and beauty. I really enjoyed this one.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Thank you very much for your generous review and comments. Much appreciated...Sue
-
Thank you very much for your generous review and comments. Much appreciated...Sue
Comment from Jazh
What a great rhythm and message. As an Australian, it has less patriotic impact on me, but the poem fits the history...or is it the history fits the poem? Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
What a great rhythm and message. As an Australian, it has less patriotic impact on me, but the poem fits the history...or is it the history fits the poem? Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Jazh, I think it could go both ways. - Ha! Speaking of patriotism, every Anzac day, when I hear, "And the Bank Played Waltzing Matilda", I still cry. Seriously. I remember when I first heard it at the kid's school in Sunnybank, I wept! And when I hear "Advance Australia Fair", I get to missing Oz. Must get back down there end of this year. Thanks for your very generous review. :-)) Sue
-
Hehe...well that's the problem with dividing your countries - endless ambivalence! :)
Comment from Johnny Carwash
Very thought-provoking poem. I thought it was interesting that history served as an inspiration for this. Very well-written. I see nothing in need of an edit.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
|
Very thought-provoking poem. I thought it was interesting that history served as an inspiration for this. Very well-written. I see nothing in need of an edit.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
-
Johnny, I do love the history of the founding of America. Thank you for your very generous review and comments. With regards, Sue