CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 136 "An Opening"A collection of poetry
42 total reviews
Comment from jamar2
Excellent,well done with sticking to your guns with this piece flows and reads well, no probs seen. pic sets it off well, simple but very effective.
jamar.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Excellent,well done with sticking to your guns with this piece flows and reads well, no probs seen. pic sets it off well, simple but very effective.
jamar.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Hi Jamar! I'm so glad you like this work. Thanks for saying all the things you like about it. I really appreciate it. My regards, Sue
Comment from S.Yocom
I really like this poem, Sixteezkid. The rhyme scheme is really nice, and the meter is great. The whole poem seems to flow. Excellent.
Sally
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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I really like this poem, Sixteezkid. The rhyme scheme is really nice, and the meter is great. The whole poem seems to flow. Excellent.
Sally
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Sally, so glad you enjoyed this poem. Thank you for your very kind review! With regards, Sue
Comment from LitGuru
Sixteezkid,
I'm going to have to agree with a previous reviewer; this one does not convey a whole lot of emotion. It's like a few statements put together with rhyme. I do recognize, however, that it is difficult to convey any emotion with so few words, but I do think there is room for improvement here. Love the picture, too.
Best of luck, and keep it up!
LG
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Sixteezkid,
I'm going to have to agree with a previous reviewer; this one does not convey a whole lot of emotion. It's like a few statements put together with rhyme. I do recognize, however, that it is difficult to convey any emotion with so few words, but I do think there is room for improvement here. Love the picture, too.
Best of luck, and keep it up!
LG
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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LitGuru, thank you very much for your kind review. Maybe some of the heart's reticence is seeping into the work - hmmmm....... Will always keep working at it, though. Very much appreciated, Sue
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - Love your poems. This one shows the struggle some have with trying to keep another out. It reminds me of the old adage, "You can't help who you fall in love with." Enjoyed it. Charlie.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Sue - Love your poems. This one shows the struggle some have with trying to keep another out. It reminds me of the old adage, "You can't help who you fall in love with." Enjoyed it. Charlie.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Charlie, yes we do sometimes keep the tools on hand to build and keep those fences mended! HA! But, you're right...the heart will do its own thing. Thanks for the great review and all your lovely comments. With regards, Sue
Comment from Always Hope
Hi, six. This is a hard one for me to rate, but I must be honest with in you, in hopes to help.
I'm reading rhymes and it flows along smoothly, but I'm feeling no emotion from the piece. I think you should expand the poem.
Best wishes, and no harm intended.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Hi, six. This is a hard one for me to rate, but I must be honest with in you, in hopes to help.
I'm reading rhymes and it flows along smoothly, but I'm feeling no emotion from the piece. I think you should expand the poem.
Best wishes, and no harm intended.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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No harm taken! I always want honest reviews with specific comments. It is the only way I've been able to learn. Am taking all your remarks on board. Perhaps this one won't be changed, but maybe I'll stretch myself further in the next one. Thank you for your honesty. With regards, Sue
Comment from bard owl
Letting love back in after being hurt is a very tough decision to make. For love, with all its many passageways, can never be truly judged before actually accepting it. Very lovely triolet. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Letting love back in after being hurt is a very tough decision to make. For love, with all its many passageways, can never be truly judged before actually accepting it. Very lovely triolet. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Linda, you are an owl of wisdom....."can never be truly judged before actually accepting it." Never thought of it in that light. Thanks for that! And thank you for such a great review. With regards, Sue
Comment from debskatz
Hey kid,
Nice one! Only one line not in iambic & all the rhymes are dead on. And I like the subject; vowing not to love again to keep from getting hurt except you found the one exception. Good job!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Hey kid,
Nice one! Only one line not in iambic & all the rhymes are dead on. And I like the subject; vowing not to love again to keep from getting hurt except you found the one exception. Good job!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Think you may be referring to "not being one to play the fool". I am reading it as "be -ing". Those pesky, subtle syllables! HA! Thanks so much for your great review. Glad you liked it! With regards, Sue
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Hey,
Actually, it is: "You're my exception to the rule"
Instead of da dum, da dum, da dum, da dum I'm reading it as:
dum, da da dum, da dum, da dum
But, what the heck, ya gotta have variety! And this just isn't that bad!!
deb :-)
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Thanks for pointing that out to me. Will re-visit. But, probably not much I can do about it now, since I wrote the whole poem around that line! HA!!!
Sue
Comment from Algernon
Rules, PAH! It's great to see someone pushing the boundaries. I read for enjoyment and never for technique.
Sometimes the self imposed boundaries can imprison us, unless we are flexible with them.
Often times it favourite to jump and take risks in this unrehearsed short life. As sometimes those safe grounds are thin ice.. Well done with your poem and knowing that which works best for you....
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Rules, PAH! It's great to see someone pushing the boundaries. I read for enjoyment and never for technique.
Sometimes the self imposed boundaries can imprison us, unless we are flexible with them.
Often times it favourite to jump and take risks in this unrehearsed short life. As sometimes those safe grounds are thin ice.. Well done with your poem and knowing that which works best for you....
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Thank you for taking the time to write so much, which HOLDS so much!
I'm getting more confident to just drop all the guards in writing and let it rip with honesty. I'm learning a new freedom that I've never had and that is in poetry. Thanks for the PAH!
You should write a poem with your words, "this unrehearsed short life". Great phrase!
Most sincerely,
Sue
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Indeed, poetry can help release the shackles from the chain of pain and thus the poet soars with liberation and freedom...
Comment from Fleedleflump
We're all suckers when the right person comes along. This poem doesn't need a structure to convey a message wrapped in a flow, and you've proved that resoundingly. Very nicely written.
Mike
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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We're all suckers when the right person comes along. This poem doesn't need a structure to convey a message wrapped in a flow, and you've proved that resoundingly. Very nicely written.
Mike
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Mike, your review is SO encouraging! Your words only give me more gumption to stretch myself. Thanks so much for that! (Laughing at the suckers part! HA!) With regards, Sue
Comment from honeytree
I liked the words here and know how a heart yearns for another even though one may not have seen this person, for a while.
"Now caving, craving, my heart pounds
You're my exception to the rule
That long ago, I made with bounds
And warnings both of sight and sounds
To build defenses - safer grounds
Not being one to play the fool...
Now caving, craving, my heart pounds
You're my exception to the rule"
Great usuage of words.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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I liked the words here and know how a heart yearns for another even though one may not have seen this person, for a while.
"Now caving, craving, my heart pounds
You're my exception to the rule
That long ago, I made with bounds
And warnings both of sight and sounds
To build defenses - safer grounds
Not being one to play the fool...
Now caving, craving, my heart pounds
You're my exception to the rule"
Great usuage of words.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2008
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Honeytree, so glad you enjoyed this piece. Thanks for your very nice review. With regards, Sue
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I am glad you likedthe review.All the best. Honeytree.