CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 147 "Nuclear Family and the Divorce"A collection of poetry
93 total reviews
Comment from raimie
Yes, we call it fragile. What a truly genuine and inspiring approach to this poem. Well thought out and planned. You did excellent. no spag from what I can see.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Yes, we call it fragile. What a truly genuine and inspiring approach to this poem. Well thought out and planned. You did excellent. no spag from what I can see.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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raimie, I really appreciate your generous review and comments. Glad the last stanza resonated with you. Most sincerely, Sue
Comment from Brian S. Pratt
The Outpost - dare they claim victory(need a space, or make it another line)With its brightness and color
And Beyond - Its name is Future
Not looking back,
We call it Fragile
thought your poem was very good.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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The Outpost - dare they claim victory(need a space, or make it another line)With its brightness and color
And Beyond - Its name is Future
Not looking back,
We call it Fragile
thought your poem was very good.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Hello Brian...thank you for your great review and specific comments! And thank you for highlighting the stanza you liked. About the "space" needed....you may be referring to some faulty spacing that my poems have been getting on the site?? I've been emailing the administrator about them. As, "With its brightness and color" is a separate line. Is that what you mean? With kindest regards, Sue
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Yes, that's what I mean.
And in the short time I've been here at FanStory, I've come to realize that I need to check what my post looks like before afterward. It's annoying when you get spaces, lose spaces, have added characters that were never in there before.
It's a learning thin all right.
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Yes, that's what I mean.
And in the short time I've been here at FanStory, I've come to realize that I need to check what my post looks like before afterward. It's annoying when you get spaces, lose spaces, have added characters that were never in there before.
It's a learning thin all right.
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Thanks for letting me know that. I'll have it corrected right away.
Cheers,
Sue
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If you'd like, you can read it again....I discovered that the entire stanza was messed up. It only had 2 lines and not 3. Again, thank YOU!!!
Comment from Gramma Kathy
I really like the way you combined the "nuclear family" with nuclear testing. Divorce is, indeed, a nuclear-sized test. You have clearly portrayed the devastation, despair and eventual fragile hope.
Your poem is tremendously moving. Though I have not experienced that particular pain myself, I have observed it within my family, and your portrayal is dead on. Well done!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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I really like the way you combined the "nuclear family" with nuclear testing. Divorce is, indeed, a nuclear-sized test. You have clearly portrayed the devastation, despair and eventual fragile hope.
Your poem is tremendously moving. Though I have not experienced that particular pain myself, I have observed it within my family, and your portrayal is dead on. Well done!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Hello Gramma Kathy, I am so glad you appreciate my poem. And I thank you for your very generous review and comments. It took over a decade to write this after my family's experience. I moved on along time ago, but it is only with time can one look back and see it clearly enough to even find a metaphor. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Leah H
Great analogy - very original in format - your use of alliteration effective - I'm still not sure about the very last line but it's growing on me. All the best, Leah
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Great analogy - very original in format - your use of alliteration effective - I'm still not sure about the very last line but it's growing on me. All the best, Leah
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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It's fragile, but there's always hope! Ha! Thank you very much for your great review and comments. I'm glad you liked it. Best to you, Sue
Comment from Artasylum
well i'm hoping or maybe i'm not it is never too late to heal and i hope the outpost is not so fragile...thanks so much yours, diana
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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well i'm hoping or maybe i'm not it is never too late to heal and i hope the outpost is not so fragile...thanks so much yours, diana
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Fragile upon the beginning of healing.......but with time and hope, we are renewed after this left turn...and off to our new-chosen life. I could only write this a few years after the divorce; with the new eyes I now have. Thank you for your very generous review and comments. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from phild
You have done a good job here and nailed the different levels of divorce as time goes by. I love the way you used a nuclear blast language to describe each level. This was one poem I could definitely relate to.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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You have done a good job here and nailed the different levels of divorce as time goes by. I love the way you used a nuclear blast language to describe each level. This was one poem I could definitely relate to.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Well, I know one thing; I'm not alone on this one! The comments here from all those who have been through it do not need anymore explaining.....Thank you for your very generous review and comments. Best regards, Sue
Comment from Penpal
Oh, my God! This piece resonates true destruction and implements the outcome of real lives and their adaptations. Well conceived and very creative, though sooooo bitterly taken by this reader the poem wreaks of desolation and disaster. But it also conforms to hope with the ending results of adaptation. Good work. I like the dark side of realities put into poetry... they are eye openers.
Penpal
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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Oh, my God! This piece resonates true destruction and implements the outcome of real lives and their adaptations. Well conceived and very creative, though sooooo bitterly taken by this reader the poem wreaks of desolation and disaster. But it also conforms to hope with the ending results of adaptation. Good work. I like the dark side of realities put into poetry... they are eye openers.
Penpal
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2008
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So glad you read the hope there! Because it is always there. Thank you very much for your most generous review and comments, Penpal. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Wow, that's pretty thought provoking. You describe destruction well and your descriptions can be applied to basically anything that destroys the heart.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
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Wow, that's pretty thought provoking. You describe destruction well and your descriptions can be applied to basically anything that destroys the heart.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
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This is true. It does not have to only pertain to divorce. We can all be devastated by so many events throughout life and it does take time to heal. Thank you so much for your most kind review and comments. With my warmest regards, Sue
Comment from daviwake
Love this. It shines like a nugget of gold among a lot of manure that I have read on this site. Sorry for the language. I have used my six star allocation for this week or I would have awarded them.
First some startling imagery: "Dreams lying flat" and then "broken in scorched scapes" - the alliteration working well here.
Ground Zero plus five - no dream alive
You pick up on the motif of the dream and the internal rhyme re-inforces the meaning.
I may not share your optimism of survivors ten days after a nuclear holocaust but the ideas are well expressed. It goes back in tone to the days I remember in the 1960s when we thought such a scenario was likely. Now I fear my prostate more than nuclear annhilation. LOL.
Thanks for the poem.
David
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
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Love this. It shines like a nugget of gold among a lot of manure that I have read on this site. Sorry for the language. I have used my six star allocation for this week or I would have awarded them.
First some startling imagery: "Dreams lying flat" and then "broken in scorched scapes" - the alliteration working well here.
Ground Zero plus five - no dream alive
You pick up on the motif of the dream and the internal rhyme re-inforces the meaning.
I may not share your optimism of survivors ten days after a nuclear holocaust but the ideas are well expressed. It goes back in tone to the days I remember in the 1960s when we thought such a scenario was likely. Now I fear my prostate more than nuclear annhilation. LOL.
Thanks for the poem.
David
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
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LMAO.....your prostate!!!!! Funny, I never worried about an exchange between USSR & US. Even in those days, I worried much more about the Middle East. But now, with Putin about to take the reins over again.......another cold war on its way.
Thank you SO much for this most generous review. And thanks for highlighting the parts you liked. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Karen Fay
While a little hard to understand this is a good poem and it flows nicely. I enjoy your writing very much and look forward to reading more...God Bless...Karen
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
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While a little hard to understand this is a good poem and it flows nicely. I enjoy your writing very much and look forward to reading more...God Bless...Karen
Comment Written 22-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
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Karen, have a read of my "blurb" describing the metaphor. May help in understanding it. I am very happy that you liked it. Thank you very much for your most generous review and comments. With regards, Sue