How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Micro-Critting"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
97 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
I thought this chapter was very well written and interesting. Perhaps, some people need to learn how to assess, review or like a book, I already know what I am looking for in a book-instantly I know when I see the topic or setting or style of language I am going to enjoy it. The first paragraph or page doesn't have to jump out at me, as long as I like the premise of the story. I would not have liked that book, Magical Mormon. I am sure I would have clicked on skip.
Reading is for enjoyment, reviewing should also be equally enjoyable. If one gets too technical it detracts from the enjoyment. Today I read mikey's prologue, it was excellent. There might have been some errors in his writing-I wasn't looking even- I just love his creativity, the writing flows, the premise and theme of the story are excellent. That has the potential to be a best seller or a screenplay for a movie. He made some spelling errors, I didn't point them out, I am here to assess its potential. He knows it needs some editing. I only offer my editing skills (it is my profession)when I feel people have no clue about sentence construction/punctuation/grammar etc.
Hope you don't mind me waxing poetic (I am a poet, after all) but it is good for knowledgeable people to share ideas. We actually learn from each other.
I liked your use of anecdotes and wit, interspersed with the more serious aspects. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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I thought this chapter was very well written and interesting. Perhaps, some people need to learn how to assess, review or like a book, I already know what I am looking for in a book-instantly I know when I see the topic or setting or style of language I am going to enjoy it. The first paragraph or page doesn't have to jump out at me, as long as I like the premise of the story. I would not have liked that book, Magical Mormon. I am sure I would have clicked on skip.
Reading is for enjoyment, reviewing should also be equally enjoyable. If one gets too technical it detracts from the enjoyment. Today I read mikey's prologue, it was excellent. There might have been some errors in his writing-I wasn't looking even- I just love his creativity, the writing flows, the premise and theme of the story are excellent. That has the potential to be a best seller or a screenplay for a movie. He made some spelling errors, I didn't point them out, I am here to assess its potential. He knows it needs some editing. I only offer my editing skills (it is my profession)when I feel people have no clue about sentence construction/punctuation/grammar etc.
Hope you don't mind me waxing poetic (I am a poet, after all) but it is good for knowledgeable people to share ideas. We actually learn from each other.
I liked your use of anecdotes and wit, interspersed with the more serious aspects. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you, Faye. I'm gratified you enjoyed my chapter. I do know you are a poet, and a dang good one, too. I didn't know you were an editor. I can understand why you wouldn't want to get into the nuts and bolts of Mikey's writing. That's like a postman going on long walks during his day off.
I would feel privileged to share ideas with you any day.
Comment from Donya Quijote
No words of wisdom when it comes to writing were true nor better said. Nice concrete example aid the reader's understanding of this reviewer's method of reviewing. Good advice to follow. Fine definitions that show the differences between the short story and the novel. I, too, have read novels that have less than a hundred pages and, though those novels could be easily read in one setting, I regretted doing so. One novel by Georthe, The Book of Werther (an approximation of the actual title) about made me suicidal and did not end with the character's own suicide. Depressing novel to say the least. German Romanticism, ugh.
As a teacher I know that examples are very helpful in fostering understanding. I found your entertaining and helpful. The school girl's attempt at getting noticed by a boy was especially entertaining, as stupid cupid as been making rounds in the school and the unfortunate girls are sadly and firmly under his spell. I couldn't help but laugh. It's is middle school after all.
I did find on nit for you to investigate after all this time:
Fiction that can comfortably (be) read in one sitting.
Nice touch of humor throughout. Fine read...
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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No words of wisdom when it comes to writing were true nor better said. Nice concrete example aid the reader's understanding of this reviewer's method of reviewing. Good advice to follow. Fine definitions that show the differences between the short story and the novel. I, too, have read novels that have less than a hundred pages and, though those novels could be easily read in one setting, I regretted doing so. One novel by Georthe, The Book of Werther (an approximation of the actual title) about made me suicidal and did not end with the character's own suicide. Depressing novel to say the least. German Romanticism, ugh.
As a teacher I know that examples are very helpful in fostering understanding. I found your entertaining and helpful. The school girl's attempt at getting noticed by a boy was especially entertaining, as stupid cupid as been making rounds in the school and the unfortunate girls are sadly and firmly under his spell. I couldn't help but laugh. It's is middle school after all.
I did find on nit for you to investigate after all this time:
Fiction that can comfortably (be) read in one sitting.
Nice touch of humor throughout. Fine read...
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you, Donya for reading and giving this piece such high praise and generous rating. On top of that you found a nit. Do you know how many picky, picky people have read this piece using very narrow-pronged grammatical rakes, looking for such nits (including myself, I might add, who has read it probably a dozen times)? I am indebted to you, my friend. It has been corrected.
Comment from krprice
This is another good essay. You might check it for unnecessary 'that's, and punctuation, particularly commas in a series of words, phrases, and clauses.
Many years ago, I learned about what is/was called 'the narrative hook.' You summed it up very nicely.
Karlene
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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This is another good essay. You might check it for unnecessary 'that's, and punctuation, particularly commas in a series of words, phrases, and clauses.
Many years ago, I learned about what is/was called 'the narrative hook.' You summed it up very nicely.
Karlene
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thank you, Karlene. Comma problems I'm gonna have. I've resigned myself to that, though I try to learn. I just don't get it! The THATS, thanks to you I thought I had a good handle on. I look through every one, chapter by chapter. Some are needed as bridges, some aren't. Those that aren't get yanked. I must say, I'm surprised it keeps coming up in your crits. Next time, if you have a moment, show me instances of its misuse. That way I can blush and say ooops!, or I can defend its presence.
Thanks for the compliment on the narrative hook.
When do we get to read about the witches tale again?
Comment from Delahay
I am extremely disappointed now. How am I ever to know what happened to Derrick the Magical Mormon now? You piqued my interest and left me hanging. I agree that the title of a chapter can certainly intrigue me enough to make me want to read, just as the title of a book will get me to take a look. But of course neither is guaranteed to fulfill their promise. But if they don't capture our attention somehow we would not feel compelled to take a look in the first place.
I must say thought that my attention wandered about a bit while reading this chapter on micro critting. Perhaps I am just tired and in pain so my mind is not as focused as it should be. I just didn't follow this one as well as I did the previous ones.
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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I am extremely disappointed now. How am I ever to know what happened to Derrick the Magical Mormon now? You piqued my interest and left me hanging. I agree that the title of a chapter can certainly intrigue me enough to make me want to read, just as the title of a book will get me to take a look. But of course neither is guaranteed to fulfill their promise. But if they don't capture our attention somehow we would not feel compelled to take a look in the first place.
I must say thought that my attention wandered about a bit while reading this chapter on micro critting. Perhaps I am just tired and in pain so my mind is not as focused as it should be. I just didn't follow this one as well as I did the previous ones.
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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I'm glad you told me about your lapse of concentration. Here, take one of these pills. Seriously, you weren't the first to mention it. One brave soul chewed me out for it. But we're friends and I've been harsh on a few of her chapters. We're honest, just as you were, and I appreciate it. I tend toward chattiness. I'm afraid you'll get more of it in the remaining chapters. My English teacher accused me of padding my chapters, but I accused her of padding her bras. See? I can't get away from it. Actually she needed no padding. This was the fifties, and if she got close enough to slap you, you got slapped by more than her hand. God! I got a million of 'em. Sorry you were an audience of one.
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Hmmm. What's in that little pill? So I'm not the only one who got lost? Just how old were you when you were taking that English class anyway?
Hey, I'm not a captive audience. I can walk off if I want so don't worry about it.
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I was 17 and innocent to the core.
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Uh huh!
Comment from Walu Feral
Hahahaha! G'day Jay. You are indeed the master strategist mate. I feel like I am in a university lecture when I read this series of yours, and the thing that gets me is that you always do as you advise, when the chapter is finished, I'm always enthralled and wish it were longer. That's a skill Sir, and to do it with no spags is simply brilliant. Well done my friend. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Hahahaha! G'day Jay. You are indeed the master strategist mate. I feel like I am in a university lecture when I read this series of yours, and the thing that gets me is that you always do as you advise, when the chapter is finished, I'm always enthralled and wish it were longer. That's a skill Sir, and to do it with no spags is simply brilliant. Well done my friend. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 12-May-2015
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Thanking you to the max, Fez! A bit chatty, but most people liked it.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Jsy,
You are a fantastic critter - I've been at the receiving end!
This is a great piece. You've given excellent examples ... now, if only several dozen people would avail themselves of the advice!
I won't be regular for the next few weeks. Will pop in when I can.
Hope your day was wonderful.
Sonali
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Hi Jsy,
You are a fantastic critter - I've been at the receiving end!
This is a great piece. You've given excellent examples ... now, if only several dozen people would avail themselves of the advice!
I won't be regular for the next few weeks. Will pop in when I can.
Hope your day was wonderful.
Sonali
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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It was wonderful Sonali, and continues to be with your crit. I miss you.
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I miss being on FA, Jay. I've been away so much this year. Still recovering from the long journeys and my mom's passing. I'm horribly backed up. Right now trying to get the garden in order and deal with a dozen other things that have had to remain unattended to. Dying to be back.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Jay
I think writers today have to be salespeople, whether they like it or not. You express that in a succinct manner here:
'... but it took me years to accept the lesson that you can't make the sale until you get in front of the customer. And you won't get in front a customer until you first get his attention and then his interest.'
This entire chapter is filled with great practical advice. It's obvious that you've educated yourself on the elements of great storytelling, and you present this in a very entertaining way.
Well done!
Bev
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Hi, Jay
I think writers today have to be salespeople, whether they like it or not. You express that in a succinct manner here:
'... but it took me years to accept the lesson that you can't make the sale until you get in front of the customer. And you won't get in front a customer until you first get his attention and then his interest.'
This entire chapter is filled with great practical advice. It's obvious that you've educated yourself on the elements of great storytelling, and you present this in a very entertaining way.
Well done!
Bev
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Bev, are you trying to make me cry? Thank you so much for your fine, detailed crit. I appreciate it more than you know.
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Aw, you've very welcome, Jay. :)
Comment from Eigle Rull
My friend, I have been happy with each of the chapters I've read so far. This one is no different. Also, in each of your chapters, I felt as though it had been written for me, personally. This one, like the others, involved designing my stories in the right way. This one being the beginning and my story's ability to hook the reader right off the bat. I read my chapter and wonder if it says enough, quick enough. I'm sure the story will hook the reader - if they read far enough. When I return to the story I'm writing, I will see what I can do to hook the reader sooner, because of what you have written in this chapter.
This chapter was very interesting and covered the information in ways that kept it interesting. It gave examples too, which help when the reader is a bit slow, as I am. This chapter, as the others, held my attention very well and it was my pleasure to be able to read it. Thank you for sharing it, my friend.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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My friend, I have been happy with each of the chapters I've read so far. This one is no different. Also, in each of your chapters, I felt as though it had been written for me, personally. This one, like the others, involved designing my stories in the right way. This one being the beginning and my story's ability to hook the reader right off the bat. I read my chapter and wonder if it says enough, quick enough. I'm sure the story will hook the reader - if they read far enough. When I return to the story I'm writing, I will see what I can do to hook the reader sooner, because of what you have written in this chapter.
This chapter was very interesting and covered the information in ways that kept it interesting. It gave examples too, which help when the reader is a bit slow, as I am. This chapter, as the others, held my attention very well and it was my pleasure to be able to read it. Thank you for sharing it, my friend.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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First of all, Elgie, you're not slow. But, you stinker, you know that. You may be inexperienced in writing, but if you keep after it you'll get the experience you need. Thank you so much for your confidence in me. Hopefully, you'll continue to get useful stuff from it.
Comment from jpduck
A most entertaining essay, I thought -- almost to the point where the entertainment got in the way of the lessons to be learned; almost, but not quite. Anyway, the entertainment was more than enough for me to teach my bladder who is the boss.
One SPAG (* *=insert; [ ]=delete):
'should be read in no [less] *fewer* increments than one chapter at a time'
Adrian
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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A most entertaining essay, I thought -- almost to the point where the entertainment got in the way of the lessons to be learned; almost, but not quite. Anyway, the entertainment was more than enough for me to teach my bladder who is the boss.
One SPAG (* *=insert; [ ]=delete):
'should be read in no [less] *fewer* increments than one chapter at a time'
Adrian
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thanks, Adrian, for kindly overlooking the fact that it was less than crammed with information. I made the suggested change. I don't know what rule I violated, but "no fewer" just sounds right! Thanks for pointed that out. So happy you are aboard.
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I certainly didn't overlook it. But your 'padding' is always such a delight that I would never dream of complaining about it.
The rule about when to use 'less' or 'fewer' is:
As a general principle, fewer is used to qualify discreet items (eg people, coins, hills, increments -- generally plural nouns) and less is used to qualify continuous, non-discreet 'stuff' (eg water, time, value, idea -- generally singular nouns).
But there are some exceptions (well it is English, isn't it?). Particularly, 'less should be used with plural nouns when these denote something closer to an amount than a numerical quantity, as with distances, periods of time, age and sums of money: less than 5 miles to go/ less than six weeks/children less than three years old/less than £100 ['Fowler's Modern English Usage']
Adrian
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You are a gem, Adrian, for looking up that rule and offering examples. I just now pasted it in my grammar folder. Thanks much!
Comment from Annette Gulliver
Jay, I love your wit! You manage to get your message across with humour. But I do pay attention, and can see through the cracks. Your advice is so helpful, and I can hear your written words ringing in my ears as I stare at the blank page, fingers ready to pound the keyboard in a frenzy, as a myriad of plots and characters invade my mind. Please carry on with your critting lessons..
regards,
Annette
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Jay, I love your wit! You manage to get your message across with humour. But I do pay attention, and can see through the cracks. Your advice is so helpful, and I can hear your written words ringing in my ears as I stare at the blank page, fingers ready to pound the keyboard in a frenzy, as a myriad of plots and characters invade my mind. Please carry on with your critting lessons..
regards,
Annette
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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I am definitely continuing with it, Annette. Thank you for being its supporter.