The Devil Fights Back
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "The Devil Fights Back - Ch. 21"Challenges in the pharmaceutical field
16 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Great Alphonse dialogue, making him sound like someone we might have known or run across on the street. People make choices, but they aren't always good ones. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Great Alphonse dialogue, making him sound like someone we might have known or run across on the street. People make choices, but they aren't always good ones. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Ric. He represents the plight of most addicts. He's found something that feels so good to him, he's willing to throw everything else away for it. I've just taken it to the nth degree with this drug that no one seems able to resist.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is a hard task to get the genie back in the bottle once it has been released and I applaud the efforts to stop Dipraxa and wonder if this will be successful. It is so sad that people lose everything just by taking a stupid drug. I bet Brian felt some guilt here. Another fine chapter Jim, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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It is a hard task to get the genie back in the bottle once it has been released and I applaud the efforts to stop Dipraxa and wonder if this will be successful. It is so sad that people lose everything just by taking a stupid drug. I bet Brian felt some guilt here. Another fine chapter Jim, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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He may feel some guilt, although I would think Fran would feel more because it was she who first suggested using it, which made Kevin Glazer (the mole) aware of it in the first place, and then he came up with the idea to steal it and sell it. They can assuage their guilt somewhat if successful in this quest.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
That's exactly why they are working so hard to stop Dipraxa. It was a great idea putting this in the story, so we don't forget what problem is. This is another good write.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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That's exactly why they are working so hard to stop Dipraxa. It was a great idea putting this in the story, so we don't forget what problem is. This is another good write.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Barbara. I thought the team needed reminding of why they are working so hard. We'll get to see a couple more instances of this later on too.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed how you brought the characters to life in this chapter! I felt like I was right there with Fran, Julia, and the others. I loved how you had lighthearted moments as well as the more serious conversation with Alphonse. The way you wrote his dialogue felt real. I could really feel the weight of the situation. Your writing keeps me hooked! Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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I really enjoyed how you brought the characters to life in this chapter! I felt like I was right there with Fran, Julia, and the others. I loved how you had lighthearted moments as well as the more serious conversation with Alphonse. The way you wrote his dialogue felt real. I could really feel the weight of the situation. Your writing keeps me hooked! Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thanks once again, Michael, for your very encouraging review. I thought it was important for the team to get some perspective on the detrimental effects of this drug they are working so hard to stop. We will see Alphonse's story played out a couple more times by different people in subsequent chapters.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good progress.
I hope they got naps.
Very accommodating of the Philippine president. Too bad real life isn't that simple. I would expect he would either bow up at poisoning his islands, or demand many millions.
Best wishes.
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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Good progress.
I hope they got naps.
Very accommodating of the Philippine president. Too bad real life isn't that simple. I would expect he would either bow up at poisoning his islands, or demand many millions.
Best wishes.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Yeah, I somehow don't think he would be very successful in getting millions from our president in 2026. More likely he would be told he will stop getting foreign aid from the US if they fail to comply!
Comment from samandlancelot
Hi Jim,
Overall, you have an interesting storyline that addresses the problems of drug abuse and how simple it can be to relapse into that world again, even after experiencing a more successful lifestyle. Your dialogue and dialect are very good.
Suggestions for improvement:
It was difficult to orient to your settings because of limited details. The rule is to include at least three of the five senses--sight, touch, smell, sound, and taste--for every setting. The homeless man probably has a strong, noticeable scent when your characters meet him. Also, instead of him "leaning against a building," name the building. Is it in a back alley? Is it part of a business district? Is it run down, or is the homeless man out of place in a ritzy neighborhood? It is better to avoid generic locations that add nothing to your story.
Pay attention to your setting wherever you go. Consider how it affects your thoughts and reactions. Notice how your five senses respond.
I hope this helps.
Patricia
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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Hi Jim,
Overall, you have an interesting storyline that addresses the problems of drug abuse and how simple it can be to relapse into that world again, even after experiencing a more successful lifestyle. Your dialogue and dialect are very good.
Suggestions for improvement:
It was difficult to orient to your settings because of limited details. The rule is to include at least three of the five senses--sight, touch, smell, sound, and taste--for every setting. The homeless man probably has a strong, noticeable scent when your characters meet him. Also, instead of him "leaning against a building," name the building. Is it in a back alley? Is it part of a business district? Is it run down, or is the homeless man out of place in a ritzy neighborhood? It is better to avoid generic locations that add nothing to your story.
Pay attention to your setting wherever you go. Consider how it affects your thoughts and reactions. Notice how your five senses respond.
I hope this helps.
Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for your great review, Patricia. That's all good advice.
Just to let you know, description of settings is not my strong suit, and I typically devote very little time to it. Personally, when I read novels, I often skim through that because it just doesn't interest me as much as character and plot.
Your comments are excellent, though. It's just not the way I write.
