Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

You are to be commended here, Jim, for all the thought and research gone into this story. Dana is getting some valuable information on Big Pharma's smear campaign and it would be just a matter of time before their activities would justify the involvement of the FBI. Meanwhile, discussions continue and work is being carried out with the express purpose of adapting the drug to make it unfit for consumption. It's all a complex operation but so far things appear to be going to plan. Thank you for sharing, Jim, and a very Happy New Year to you! Debbie

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2024

Thank you so much, Debbie. It's encouraging to know that the research is paying off in making an authentic-sounding tale. I'm way out of my experience and comfort zone with a lot of this, hence all of the research, but I've found it to be fun to learn how the world works. You have to have at least a little bit of knowledge to ask the right questions, but it's fun to try to incorporate what I've learned into the story.

Hope you have a very Happy New Year too, Debbie.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

A well written chapter. Things are moving along, with Dana, and her getting information for the team. The character POV switches within a chapter feel natural, as the readers are getting details from all sides of the team.

Although, since you are changing POVs of characters, why not show a few bad guys, to give them more depth.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2024

Thanks, Lance. I appreciate the feedback about the POV switches.

I decided when I started the story to keep it just between the three characters Fran, Dana, and Marie. I was advised by a professional developmental editor on one of the early drafts of one of my earlier novels to keep the number of POVs down when writing in first person, because I had too many.

So far, I've only written novels in first person, but I may try third person omniscient sometime in which I can share many different POVs. In retrospect, maybe I should have written this one that way, because I find myself wanting to share some of the minor characters thoughts too. I'll think more about your suggestion.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

It is funny how things work out. I really enjoy reading this story. You are doing a wonderful job writing it. I do have the feeling that things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

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 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2024

Thank you so much for your very kind words, Barbara. Your suspicions are right on. We can't let things be too easy. Some definite challenges ahead.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Good writing. Couldn't find a thing to point out or improve upon (not that I could anyway).
You offer more good reasons to distrust (despise) big pharma. I know they have saved a lot of lives, and that R & D has to be paid for, but their profit margins belie their altruism.
Best wishes.

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 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2024

Thanks, Wayne. I feel much the same way you do about Big Pharma. Drugs have certainly improved and extended our lives, but you're right about the profit margins. And I don't completely trust industries that play footsie with the government and require a lot of lobbyists.