Going Back in Time
Lesson in life and love.26 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I know when there's a beautiful woman with green eyes your main character is in big trouble. Somehow this feels like there is more real biographical information than fiction. I like how you always manage to twist the plot and surprise us with the ending.
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I know when there's a beautiful woman with green eyes your main character is in big trouble. Somehow this feels like there is more real biographical information than fiction. I like how you always manage to twist the plot and surprise us with the ending.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from Yardier
An incredible write with clarity, twists and turns. You have crafted an intriguing story with a balanced flow of visualization. Engrossing, truthful, and great geography back story.
In Saigon women like that were called 'Tea Girls'.
Merry Christmas and may the next year be the very best of your life.
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An incredible write with clarity, twists and turns. You have crafted an intriguing story with a balanced flow of visualization. Engrossing, truthful, and great geography back story.
In Saigon women like that were called 'Tea Girls'.
Merry Christmas and may the next year be the very best of your life.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You leave the scene for a month or two and then write what many will presume to be a biographical writ. I am glad the ending cleared what the beginning and middle left out.
Being a horse guy, did you ever do Aiken Ga. They were and may still be a trotter centre.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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You leave the scene for a month or two and then write what many will presume to be a biographical writ. I am glad the ending cleared what the beginning and middle left out.
Being a horse guy, did you ever do Aiken Ga. They were and may still be a trotter centre.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Tom, for your generous review and kind words. Luckily, this wasn't autobiographical. Thank goodness. Yes, I've been to Aiken. There are lots of trotters there. But there used to be lots of thoroughbreds around there too back in the 1970s and 1980. I haven't been there since, but I know people who have. I spent most of my winters in New Orleans and Miami. Much appreciated!
Comment from T B Botts
Holy Cats Ric,
what a story!. It's worthy of a six, but it's Saturday evening, and I still don't have any yet. It's a good thing our guy had a handle on his emotions and could control himself, or there might have been an even stickier situation to deal with. I've never heard of the cops arresting someone without having a more valid reason, but then I'm not a cop, so I don't know. What a terrible wake up call there at the end. What does a fellow do with information like that? Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Holy Cats Ric,
what a story!. It's worthy of a six, but it's Saturday evening, and I still don't have any yet. It's a good thing our guy had a handle on his emotions and could control himself, or there might have been an even stickier situation to deal with. I've never heard of the cops arresting someone without having a more valid reason, but then I'm not a cop, so I don't know. What a terrible wake up call there at the end. What does a fellow do with information like that? Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Tom, for your generous review and kind words. As with most of my stories there is more truth in this than I care to admit. But luckily, it wasn't me I'm writing about. LOL. But I witnessed most of it. I appreciate YOU! Happy Holidays!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your stories always work because they demonstrate your understanding of human nature. You weave a tale that could happen to anyone. Anything can happen when a man engages a drunken young woman. Your protagonist ended up locked up, only to find out he had been locked out of his offspring's life. What a painful lesson.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Your stories always work because they demonstrate your understanding of human nature. You weave a tale that could happen to anyone. Anything can happen when a man engages a drunken young woman. Your protagonist ended up locked up, only to find out he had been locked out of his offspring's life. What a painful lesson.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Lorraine, for your generous review and kind words. I try to write mostly about real to life happenings, but keep them as much fiction as possible. LOL. I hope they just put people to thinking of things that could and do happen to people. I always appreciate YOU! Whether I'm reading your stories or getting your reviews. :-)
Comment from Julie Helms
Ric, this is a good story. You've got tension, backstory, and a mammoth twist.
Amanda should be ashamed of putting her daughter on that task. What mother would do that? And double shame since she knew he was the father.
The narrator showed himself to be a stand up kind of guy for protecting the drunk girl despite her behavior.
My only suggestion story-wise is that all that detailed horse stuff in the beginning had little to do with the story so could be abbreviated to get to the action sooner.
My nerdy grammar comments:
"Sailfish Capitol of the World,"
(Capital)
Shenanigan's had become a scaled down eastside pub.
(scaled-down)
"What if she has aids?"
(AIDS)
searching for observers to collaborate my story
(I think you may have meant corroborate)
Great job, Ric!
Julie
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Ric, this is a good story. You've got tension, backstory, and a mammoth twist.
Amanda should be ashamed of putting her daughter on that task. What mother would do that? And double shame since she knew he was the father.
The narrator showed himself to be a stand up kind of guy for protecting the drunk girl despite her behavior.
My only suggestion story-wise is that all that detailed horse stuff in the beginning had little to do with the story so could be abbreviated to get to the action sooner.
My nerdy grammar comments:
"Sailfish Capitol of the World,"
(Capital)
Shenanigan's had become a scaled down eastside pub.
(scaled-down)
"What if she has aids?"
(AIDS)
searching for observers to collaborate my story
(I think you may have meant corroborate)
Great job, Ric!
Julie
** This reviewer has pledged to rate in accordance with site guidelines.**
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Julie, for your generous review, kind words, and helpful comments and suggestions. I thought long and hard for a way to start this really slow. Knowing it was going to be nonstop once it got started, and might wear people out. So, I explained the setting in a lot of detail. Also, it is supposed to show the relation to "where" it took place, "why" they came there, "who," and "what" they do, and "where" they liked to go for fun. These people are a different breed. So, I did have a reason for it, however lame it might have been. Yes, that was pretty rotten for the mother to put your daughter up to something so nasty; but, she'd had 24-years to brood about him deserting her. So, even I could sympathize with her anger. I'll get right after those corrections. And believe it or not, I really tried to clean this one up before I posted it. Something I almost never do. But you can take credit for my attempt. Thanks again for everything! Much appreciated!
Comment from Sandollar
Wow! What a tale. Amanda needs a little help--maybe some therapy. Plotting and scheming that way and using the daughter is a bit much. It flowed very well, although a little long.
Character descriptions were excellent. Those buffoons wouldn't be my friends for long. They just kept right on partying. And the way they talked about the daughter. Very realistic. I loved the kicker at the end when he discovers Amanda's daughter is also his daughter.
Life lessons, for sure.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Wow! What a tale. Amanda needs a little help--maybe some therapy. Plotting and scheming that way and using the daughter is a bit much. It flowed very well, although a little long.
Character descriptions were excellent. Those buffoons wouldn't be my friends for long. They just kept right on partying. And the way they talked about the daughter. Very realistic. I loved the kicker at the end when he discovers Amanda's daughter is also his daughter.
Life lessons, for sure.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Sandollar, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. Yes, most of these characters are a different breed and not very desirable, but they make a non-stop story. LOL. I'm so glad you liked my story. I've certainly been enjoying yours. Much appreciated!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
What a bummer.
First, he was arrested for something he didn't do, but wanted to (until she passed out). Then he finds out he was bagged and tagged. Then he learned that he'd been ogling his daughter's boobs, as well as the fact that he'd missed out completely on raising his daughter.
I'll bet he's 'really' glad he was a protective gentleman now.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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What a bummer.
First, he was arrested for something he didn't do, but wanted to (until she passed out). Then he finds out he was bagged and tagged. Then he learned that he'd been ogling his daughter's boobs, as well as the fact that he'd missed out completely on raising his daughter.
I'll bet he's 'really' glad he was a protective gentleman now.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Wayne, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. Yes, this poor fellow got caught up in it from the beginning, and then find out everything he'd missed for all those years. Happy Holidays! I appreciate your stories and your reviews!
Comment from jim vecchio
I drank enough in bars over the U.S. to last ten lifetimes. When I met my wife I promised her I'd never come home drunk. And I didn't. So that's my experience in those circles. On one occasion, my wife and daughter and I were on vacation, on a fireworks cruise in Lake George. My wife and daughter went to the rest room. While they were gone, one of the most beautiful girls in the world came over to me with a platter full of drinks. I didn't realize it was Capt. Morgan night. I politely refused before my wife returned.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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I drank enough in bars over the U.S. to last ten lifetimes. When I met my wife I promised her I'd never come home drunk. And I didn't. So that's my experience in those circles. On one occasion, my wife and daughter and I were on vacation, on a fireworks cruise in Lake George. My wife and daughter went to the rest room. While they were gone, one of the most beautiful girls in the world came over to me with a platter full of drinks. I didn't realize it was Capt. Morgan night. I politely refused before my wife returned.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Jim, for you generous review and kind words. Yes, we've all done things we wish we hadn't, but if we lucky, they didn't come back to haunt us. Much appreciated!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, Ric, you tell one hell of a story with a punch line that brings the reader back to the beginning where the mistake was made long before. This had me on the edge of my seat with suspense and intrigue to boot. Thanks for teaching us all a lesson on life and regret and how it can turn your head around when you least suspect it.
Jesse
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Wow, Ric, you tell one hell of a story with a punch line that brings the reader back to the beginning where the mistake was made long before. This had me on the edge of my seat with suspense and intrigue to boot. Thanks for teaching us all a lesson on life and regret and how it can turn your head around when you least suspect it.
Jesse
Comment Written 21-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much, Jesse, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I'm so glad you liked it. Yes, this fellow had a rough stretch, and then he finds out he'd missed out on so much more than he ever could have imagined. Much appreciated!
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I haven't read your work in a while but now that I have read this story I can say you are a top-notch writer!
Jesse
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Thank you so much, Jesse!