Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

That sounds like an impossible task for Brian, now that the drug is already widespread. I hope Marie won't learnt of it and believe Brian is responsible for illicitly spreading it, and believe that's his second income. Well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

Now that's an intriguing idea that never occurred to me! Oo, I like that, Wendy.

Perhaps we need Nadia the cat to suggest an idea to Brian to stop the spread. Nah. Been there, done that. He'll have to come up with this one on his own.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

It was a really nice party for the christening, but maybe Marie wasn't impressed, especially with the music as she didn't make it to the christening. The way her mother treated her is certainly the reason she was so cold to her daughter. The project Fran tasked her brother with sounds insolvable. Hope you have a good plan to pull this off.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

Yeah, I don't know if Marie will ever embrace bluegrass the way Julia has. I think she enjoys looking down on various things.

I consulted with my trusty AI bot, Poe, to see if he thought Brian's idea was any good, and he gave me assurances that it could work the way he envisions it.

Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary

Excellent

Jim,

Another fine chapter of your book. It seems like Fran and Brian are going to need to put their ti=hinking caps on to solve this problem. Since her brother made it he has to know of a way to stop it from being effective.

Well done

Cecilia

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

Thanks, Cecilia. Brian is probably in the best position to find a solution if there's one to be found. It will certainly be a challenge, though since he is no longer making the drug.

reply by Cecilia A Heiskary on 04-Dec-2024

You're welcome

Cecilia

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

There is a thin line separating the good and bad of all things in life, tiptoeing that line very carefully is often required, but things in the wrong hands of uncaring types can be a nightmare. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024

Those are some prophetic words there, Ric, and something that will concern Brian and his solution to the problem of Dipraxa. I'm not sure if that's what you were intimating with this, but it is certainly applicable to his situation too.

Comment from Julie G1

Excellent

This chapter presents some mystery to follow. The reader is anticipating the subsequent story, as a plot unfolds. The characters and tale add to the imagery of this whole chapter. Well expressed.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024

Thank you, Julie. I have certainly posed a challenge for Brian to come up with a way to stop the effectiveness of a drug that he is not even manufacturing now. We'll see if there is a plausible way to do that.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I can't wait to see what part Maria plays in all of this. I know she will. Now, we need to find a way to dismantle Dipraxa. I know it can be done but won't be easy. This is another good write.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024

This will be a real challenge for Brian since he isn't even the one manufacturing the drug now. Let's see if I can come up with a believable way for him to do this.

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

Kevin is in some serious trouble now. I love the phrase Incapacitate the drug. Brilliant work my friend. When I'm reading, I visualize the characters and the scene, and when I heard they were going to play "Deliverance" I spoke out loud "Hell Yeah!" Lol.
This would make a great movie, Jim.
God bless,
Steve

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 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024

Thanks so much, Steve. I always loved that scene from Deliverance. I read something interesting about it. That kid in the movie isn't really the one playing the banjo. It's being played by a real banjo player whose arms are playing it, and through a lot of good photography, it looks like the kid is playing it. The kid had the look they wanted, though.

reply by Neonewman on 06-Dec-2024

That's crazy. Great photography on their part. The kid looked the part for sure.

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024

Yeah, he sure did.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

I don't know for sure, but I felt a tense change that didn't seem real, bona fide. The first part, aside from too much passive writing was past, then after the spacing break became a mix of past and present.
It will be interesting to see how you change a drug's formula after the fact.
Best wishes.

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 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024

The "tense change" was intensetional :-) to show how the first part was a recollection of what happened a week ago. The chapter begins with "It's been a little over a week since the raid on Kevin Glazer's apartment..." Then we switch to the present in the next section.

My purpose for doing it this way is to try to keep the timeline of the story always moving forward and to not jump around in time, which sometimes can be confusing unless you immediately pick up what's going on. By treating action in the past as a remembrance, it can eliminate this jumping around and avoid confusion.

Yes, indeed, I had to challenge myself to think of a way Brian could change the drug, especially since he's not the one manufacturing it. Let's see if I can make it semi-plausible sounding.