Animal House Revisited
My life, my fraternal experiences14 total reviews
Comment from write hand blue
Thank you for the account of your time at Uni. in higher education. I managed to read it all, I'm sure you have been already reviewed on the para brakes etc. I would like to add that the text is too small for my 14 inch screen so I suggest you use a bigger one. You certainly got up to a lot and I suspect this was to do with the fact that you have left home for the first time. An interesting account and well thought out. Mel
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
Thank you for the account of your time at Uni. in higher education. I managed to read it all, I'm sure you have been already reviewed on the para brakes etc. I would like to add that the text is too small for my 14 inch screen so I suggest you use a bigger one. You certainly got up to a lot and I suspect this was to do with the fact that you have left home for the first time. An interesting account and well thought out. Mel
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Thanks, had to move on, the fun had to end. Veterinary school required you to behave, you were basically under a microscope at all times. Discipline was expected and rules were to be followed.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed the story, but it was difficult to read. I strongly suggest you put paragraph breaks in. On FanStory you need to physically put a space between them. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed the story, but it was difficult to read. I strongly suggest you put paragraph breaks in. On FanStory you need to physically put a space between them. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Thanks, did as you said, again your advice helped.
Comment from royowen
Well done Rick, your adventures, because I left school when I was 14, with poorish working class parents we weren't able to further education. Although I did a drink a lot, but really only smoked one joint, but I had no idea the affect, I was too drunk. Just a tiny bit of advice, try to space your writing, observe other writers, see what they, seperate your paragraphs, it's very difficult as a reader to maintain one's spot on the page, but thanks for sharing Rick, excellent post. blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
Well done Rick, your adventures, because I left school when I was 14, with poorish working class parents we weren't able to further education. Although I did a drink a lot, but really only smoked one joint, but I had no idea the affect, I was too drunk. Just a tiny bit of advice, try to space your writing, observe other writers, see what they, seperate your paragraphs, it's very difficult as a reader to maintain one's spot on the page, but thanks for sharing Rick, excellent post. blessings Roy
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Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Thanks again, I really enjoy your reviews. A mistake not making some paragraphs. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and start writing, as with this one. When starting I cannot stop and words just form themselves. Everything else is a blank. Will edit and add paragraphs.
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Thanks again, I really enjoy your reviews. A mistake not making some paragraphs. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and start writing, as with this one. When starting I cannot stop and words just form themselves. Everything else is a blank. Will edit and add paragraphs.
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Bless you
Comment from Y. M. Roger
I tried, but it is difficult to read through a single paragraph without any differentiation for event separation or time passage/change... What portions I did read reveal incomplete sentences and comma splices... Although it is first person by design, it should be written to be read by a stranger/person unfamiliar with you/your personality not written to be spoken to an in-person audience that can gain from your facial expressions/voice inflections... Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
I tried, but it is difficult to read through a single paragraph without any differentiation for event separation or time passage/change... What portions I did read reveal incomplete sentences and comma splices... Although it is first person by design, it should be written to be read by a stranger/person unfamiliar with you/your personality not written to be spoken to an in-person audience that can gain from your facial expressions/voice inflections... Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024