Reviews from

Animal House Revisited

My life, my fraternal experiences

14 total reviews 
Comment from write hand blue
Excellent
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Thank you for the account of your time at Uni. in higher education. I managed to read it all, I'm sure you have been already reviewed on the para brakes etc. I would like to add that the text is too small for my 14 inch screen so I suggest you use a bigger one. You certainly got up to a lot and I suspect this was to do with the fact that you have left home for the first time. An interesting account and well thought out. Mel

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
    Thanks, had to move on, the fun had to end. Veterinary school required you to behave, you were basically under a microscope at all times. Discipline was expected and rules were to be followed.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed the story, but it was difficult to read. I strongly suggest you put paragraph breaks in. On FanStory you need to physically put a space between them. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
    Thanks, did as you said, again your advice helped.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Well done Rick, your adventures, because I left school when I was 14, with poorish working class parents we weren't able to further education. Although I did a drink a lot, but really only smoked one joint, but I had no idea the affect, I was too drunk. Just a tiny bit of advice, try to space your writing, observe other writers, see what they, seperate your paragraphs, it's very difficult as a reader to maintain one's spot on the page, but thanks for sharing Rick, excellent post. blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 19-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
    Thanks again, I really enjoy your reviews. A mistake not making some paragraphs. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and start writing, as with this one. When starting I cannot stop and words just form themselves. Everything else is a blank. Will edit and add paragraphs.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
    Thanks again, I really enjoy your reviews. A mistake not making some paragraphs. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and start writing, as with this one. When starting I cannot stop and words just form themselves. Everything else is a blank. Will edit and add paragraphs.
reply by royowen on 19-Nov-2024
    Bless you
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Average
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I tried, but it is difficult to read through a single paragraph without any differentiation for event separation or time passage/change... What portions I did read reveal incomplete sentences and comma splices... Although it is first person by design, it should be written to be read by a stranger/person unfamiliar with you/your personality not written to be spoken to an in-person audience that can gain from your facial expressions/voice inflections... Good luck in the contest.

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 Comment Written 19-Nov-2024