Reviews from

Anatomy of a Marriage

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Anatomy of a Marriage Ch 11"
A story of a couple whose marriage is in trouble.

22 total reviews 
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Recently, I read in AARP of a divorce case where the woman suddenly found out how much her husband really made, affording him a second house and a mistress! I thought of your book here. Glad Marsha got some peace after talking with her kids.

there is apples and grapes in the fruit bowl. There is also milk (There are) since plural subjects follow

Since we are all together. Maybe (comma instead of a period as it's the same sentence)

He's just a guy from school. I did like him for a while. It's not like we're dating or anything. ( Needs open and close quotes)

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Helen. I wouldn't be surprised if that doesn't happen a I started the Anatomy of a Marriage as a first chapter thinking I wouldn't go further with it,but I'm still going. If I finish it, I can't publish it unless under an assumed name, because people might recognize the story. My friend wanted me to write her story but she is no longer alive, and I don't know how her sister and children would feel about it.
reply by lyenochka on 18-Nov-2024
    I understand. My Elise character is different from the woman who inspired it but I will have her say something she always said. I'll have to get her daughter's permission if I ever publish the script.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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Yes, Marsha is loyal to the end and is doing her best to keep the ship afloat. Some excellent dialogue credibly expressed and another worry dealt with for the moment, allowing her to focus more exclusively on Trenton. Well done, Beth. Debbie
there (are) apples and grapes...

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate the review and comments This is fictionalized true story of my friend's marriage.
    Beth
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate the review and comments This is fictionalized true story of my friend's marriage.
    Beth
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate the review and comments This is fictionalized true story of my friend's marriage.
    Beth
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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That's the trouble with disease, it tends to infect everyone around the place, when the relationship with parent starts to weaken, it can affect the kids, if mum and dad aren't right, well you know, poor Marsha, being a single parent has its problems, well done, Beth, great writing, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Roy. I appreciate the review and comments.
    Beth
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Roy. I appreciate the review and comments.
    Beth
reply by royowen on 17-Nov-2024
    Welcome
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
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The way Marsha dealt with the drugs was a lot more humane, even polite, than it would have been with my mom and dad. I know I would have been called every name under the sun. Glad you kept it PG rated.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Jim. It probably never occurred to you and I to try drugs. Drugs like LSD wasn't even around when I was growing and I didn't anyone on drugs except a few doctors she had access to pain killers.
    Beth
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Jim. It probably never occurred to you and I to try drugs. Drugs like LSD wasn't even around when I was growing and I didn't anyone on drugs except a few doctors she had access to pain killers.
    Beth
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Jim. It probably never occurred to you and I to try drugs. Drugs like LSD wasn't even around when I was growing and I didn't anyone on drugs except a few doctors she had access to pain killers.
    Beth
reply by jim vecchio on 18-Nov-2024
    I did go to a Rod Stewart concert where LSD and drugs were very available, but I did not try any.
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
Excellent
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This continues at a good pace and holds my interest. I don't see much good in the kids' promises. They are not handy with the truth, and obviously, Marcia is not being realistic about her husband's affair.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Verna. You are very perceptive. Marsha doesn't want to give up on her husband and the children may mean well but the are typical for many in city public schools.
    Beth
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Verna. You are very perceptive. Marsha doesn't want to give up on her husband and the children may mean well but the are typical for many in city public schools.
    Beth
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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"If she ever asked you to do her a favor, tell her no." I would change to "asks" you

". . . she'd gotten more of the story than would have . . ." - "than she would have"

"and the checking the refrigerator" - and checking the refrigerator

"I didn't even to go to that party." - I didn't even go to that party.

"It's not like we dating . . ." - It's not like we are dating

Hi Beth,

This is a good chapter, just lots of things you might want to check for corrections.

I like your fiction novel; it's interesting and has a great pace. Good characters, and real-life situations.

See you next time,
xo
Pam

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Pam. I hate that I make mistakes these days. Back when I worked as a proofreader, I never missed anything. I see errors in others writing but I'm missing them in my own.
    Beth
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Pam. I hate that I make mistakes these days. Back when I worked as a proofreader, I never missed anything. I see errors in others writing but I'm missing them in my own.
    Beth
Comment from Charles D Ezell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

sounds as if modern day school kids. When we were in school, if marijuana was mentioned, we thought it was a town in Mexico. How innocent we were. Good story. I hope the guy makes it.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you for the review. There are many things we know of now that were unheard of in the 50's. Thank you for the six stars.
    Beth
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
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Marsha sure has her hands full right now. Enjoyed this chapter. found a few minor typos.

---> It's not like we (WERE) dating or anything.
---> Weren't you smart not to weight (WEIGH) in?"

Nicely written. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Marilyn. I appreciate you pointing out what you find so I can correct them.
    Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this addition with us. I doubt if Trenton will honestly change his behavior. He might beat the alcoholism but not the playing around.

Now that your dad is in a rehab facility, you're my sold responsibility. (sole)

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Barbara. You are very perceptive. I appreciate the review.
    Beth
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Well done.
She had alerted the car pool driver, that Tracie wouldn't be with them - This comma isn't needed.
I cannot imagine the 'don't know how to live without an active cheater.'
Best wishes.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2024


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2024
    Thank you, Wayne. I glad you're reading and reviewing it. It may be harder for women to let go of love. Sometimes that deal with quite a bit of mental abuse before they decide they've had enough.
reply by Wayne Fowler on 17-Nov-2024
    One hit,- that's it, gone
    One horrible verbal onslaught w/o apology - that's it. gone
    Love somebody else.