The Last Conversation
A free verse poem27 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
It helped to read your notes and appreciate the full poignancy of this verse and the devastation caused to the surviving twin. Two tragedies in one. Your imagery is excellent. So often the conclusion can be quite disappointing but yours was my favourite part of this impressive verse. Well done and good luck! Debbie
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It helped to read your notes and appreciate the full poignancy of this verse and the devastation caused to the surviving twin. Two tragedies in one. Your imagery is excellent. So often the conclusion can be quite disappointing but yours was my favourite part of this impressive verse. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from karenina
You have an exquisite way with words... There is no fat here to trim. Every line is gravid with grief, regret, bewilderment and loss. My mind flew to a dialogue, in free verse, between two lovers...
Once I read your author's notes and read through this again it became clear what a stunning clue this line was:
"...another glimpse of you in this face that we once shared..."
Twins! Of course!
Six-star work and me with only five to give...
I've lost five family members to suicide.
I can't imagine what that pain must do to a twin!
Bravo, sir.
Karenina
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You have an exquisite way with words... There is no fat here to trim. Every line is gravid with grief, regret, bewilderment and loss. My mind flew to a dialogue, in free verse, between two lovers...
Once I read your author's notes and read through this again it became clear what a stunning clue this line was:
"...another glimpse of you in this face that we once shared..."
Twins! Of course!
Six-star work and me with only five to give...
I've lost five family members to suicide.
I can't imagine what that pain must do to a twin!
Bravo, sir.
Karenina
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from royowen
What a wonderfully written and thoughtful poem, yes, apparently some twins think as the other thinks, not only are some identical, but they seem to share exactly the same memories and thoughts of one another, almost like they drink from the same Gene pool, beautifully written, blessings Roy,
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What a wonderfully written and thoughtful poem, yes, apparently some twins think as the other thinks, not only are some identical, but they seem to share exactly the same memories and thoughts of one another, almost like they drink from the same Gene pool, beautifully written, blessings Roy,
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem. You have used great descriptive words and imagery. Great imagery from the artwork and your words. Thank you for sharing! Teri
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This is a very well written poem. You have used great descriptive words and imagery. Great imagery from the artwork and your words. Thank you for sharing! Teri
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Barry Penfold
Excellent. Different. Clever. Thanks for the notes. I sort of had this as a murder/suicide. Two lovers. One gone. The other still around but searching for a connection. But as you say, leaving it vague allows people to make up their own mind.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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Excellent. Different. Clever. Thanks for the notes. I sort of had this as a murder/suicide. Two lovers. One gone. The other still around but searching for a connection. But as you say, leaving it vague allows people to make up their own mind.
Thanks for sharing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Nicki.B
Wow this is an intense read and done brilliantly. The depth of feelings and emotions captured through the stanzas had me gripped. I loved phrases like ,'a silence yawned between us' and 'caught in the barrell of a bullet'. You have a way with words, it's quite dark aswell, well done excellent piece of work, good luck with the contest
Best Wishes
Nixki
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Wow this is an intense read and done brilliantly. The depth of feelings and emotions captured through the stanzas had me gripped. I loved phrases like ,'a silence yawned between us' and 'caught in the barrell of a bullet'. You have a way with words, it's quite dark aswell, well done excellent piece of work, good luck with the contest
Best Wishes
Nixki
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
How very sad this story is. Twins are usually friends for life as they think the same and have a warm and lasting connection. Here there is much regret on both sides as the one could not save the other. This is a very deep and meaningful poem, love Dolly x
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How very sad this story is. Twins are usually friends for life as they think the same and have a warm and lasting connection. Here there is much regret on both sides as the one could not save the other. This is a very deep and meaningful poem, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from Sarah Probe S.
many thanks for your thriller story, would that be a script in a form of a prose then ?
It's very dark and captivating at the same time, even though i do not like violence at all ....
I hope you win the contest
Best wishes
Sarah
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many thanks for your thriller story, would that be a script in a form of a prose then ?
It's very dark and captivating at the same time, even though i do not like violence at all ....
I hope you win the contest
Best wishes
Sarah
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
Comment from pome lover
well, it's a good story and I liked it, but I'm glad you explained it. It's a neat idea and intriguing, really, trying to figure it out.
I'm not sure I get the meaning of the fish, though, unless the bottom one represents the dead twin. And speaking of twins, in your author's notes you say two twins. Twins means two, so you don't need the two.
Anyway, great entry for the contest. Good luck.
Katharine
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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well, it's a good story and I liked it, but I'm glad you explained it. It's a neat idea and intriguing, really, trying to figure it out.
I'm not sure I get the meaning of the fish, though, unless the bottom one represents the dead twin. And speaking of twins, in your author's notes you say two twins. Twins means two, so you don't need the two.
Anyway, great entry for the contest. Good luck.
Katharine
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much for the review and the clarification! I didn't even notice I did that haha. As for the fish, I actually tried to find images that showed a loss of one twin, but I was having a hard time! I ended up using the fish because they look them same - apart from the color, which you could depict the dark one as being 'depressed' while the other was not - and I thought that the image of one swimming forward (the survivor) and the one swimming backwards made a cool contrast! I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem and I hope you have an amazing week!
Best,
Videl
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now that you explained it, that's a good example about the fish. thanks.
Katharine
Comment from DonandVicki
A very well constructed poem that speaks of loss. I read your authors notes and had to re-read your poem and it took me to a deeper,a darker place.
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A very well constructed poem that speaks of loss. I read your authors notes and had to re-read your poem and it took me to a deeper,a darker place.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2024