Comment from AliMom

Excellent

Chilling. Pun intended. What a cool (pun unintended) short story with an unexpected twist. It did have a "twilight zone" feel. The weather conditions set us up for a very different turn. Snow in October? I guess that is contingent upon where you live. But a blizzard, great plot device. A very nice way to develop your opening words, "seemed like a good idea at the time". In spite of the outcome, her actions seemed clear and rational at the outset. Good job.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2024

Hi Aimom and thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted so it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again. Love, Debi

Comment from Marilyn Hamilton

Excellent

An excellent entry for the A Good Idea writing prompt. I liked this Halloween flash partial fiction. The twist/surprise ending was perfect for this style of story. good luck.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2024

Hi Marilyn, and thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted so it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again. Love, Debo

reply by Marilyn Hamilton on 10-Oct-2024

Check out the new limerick. A naughty one just for you and Dolly lol

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Debi, I enjoyed reading this short story. This could have really been a twilight zone ending for real. Thanks for sharing sweet friend. love and blessings,Teri

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024

Hi Teri, thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it as it was not supposed to be bad, and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted but it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again,
my dear friend.
Love Debi

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is a cool flash. You never know what may happen unexpectedly with the weather. That ending was like the twilight zone. It would be freaky to hear on the news of your own demise.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024

Hi Beth, thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it as it was not supposed to be bad, and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted but it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again,
my dear friend.
Love Debi

Comment from Nicki.B

Excellent

Oh dear oh dear oh dear!!! You were adamant in fairness to you that Annie got to go out trick or treating! You must have been so distracted by your mission you probably missed potential weather warnings! Great story, I hope she got lots of candy and it was worth it lol!
Best Wishes
Nicki x

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024

Hi Nicki, thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. It told right away in the story that we weren't supposed to get much snow. So no, there were no warnings. Thats why they called it a surprise. This is all true except my daughter's name which is really Bridget, and the ending, obviously. But the surprise Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it as it was not supposed to be bad, and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted but it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again,
my dear friend.
Love Debi

Comment from Robert Zimmerman

Excellent

The prompt is an interesting concept. It unfortunately ended up like many good ideas start. You complied well with the prompt. You told the story with good descriptives, and your last line shocks the reader. Well done.

Robert

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2024

Hi Robert, and thanks so much for the kind review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it as it was not supposed to be bad, and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted but it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again,
my dear friend.
Love Debi

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 09-Oct-2024

You're welcome, Debi.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Oh that's a quite different ending! Interesting story, with a touch of eeriness. Well written. Sending you best wishes for the contest. Wendy

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted so it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again, Wendy.

Comment from gramalot8

Excellent

Well, dang... that was definitely not the ending I expected.
Definitely wasn't a good idea at all. Reminds me of a trip from Idaho to Utah one very wintry Thanksgiving time. We drove so slow it took almost 2 hours longer than usual to get there... a nail biting experience.
Thank you for sharing your experience with.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted so it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again, gramalot.

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

Your story caught my attention as I have just watched the disturbing movie "Megan" ( Amazon Prime). The movie starts out just like your poem. Nicely written.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

Thanks so much for the lovely review and comments. This is all true except my daughter's name and the ending, obviously. But the Halloween Blizzard of the Century was a thing. My friend and I took both our daughters out in it and they jumped out of the back and trampled through the snow just to trick or treat. We only took them to the people we knew and trusted so it was scary driving in it. Anyway, thanks again, Don and Vicki

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Where I live, it would be hard even to imagine a snowstorm in October, but I'm sure they happen. You tell your story in as much detail as you can with the 100 word limit. I am a bit unsure about the ending. If the narrator is a casualty, how are we able to hear his story? You did a great job relating the necessity of the trip in the snowstorm. The narrator was willing to risk a lot for Annie. Best of luck in the contest. judi

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

LOL, Judi, it is supposed to be a little like Twilight Zone ending. It is supposed to be creepy, like she is hearing the future of what is to come. It may be a minute or even an hour ahead of her. It was really hard to make my point in 100 words tho. You know?
Thank you for the kind words though. I do appreciate the feedback too.

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024

LOL, Judi, it is supposed to be a little like Twilight Zone ending. It is supposed to be creepy, like she is hearing the future of what is to come. It may be a minute or even an hour ahead of her. It was really hard to make my point in 100 words tho. You know?
Thank you for the kind words though. I do appreciate the feedback too.