Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

I don't expect you to get many accolades from this post. The writing was good, though. For me, it was too close to the behavior of my meth addicted 'friend-closer-than-a-brother'.
I don't believe Julia would have been fooled by the camera/Skype thing. The change in Brian would have come across, especially in long conversations. And Brian could not have kept from lying in response to pointed questions. I expect you're going to say that Julia's unexpected appearance was due to her suspicions. I can't see how she wouldn't leave him and cut off funding.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Exactly so. I wanted this chapter to be his downfall into pure hedonism to see if he will ever be able to triumph over this internal demon and win back his life. That's the battle that all addicts have, and it's very sad that some, like your friend, lose that battle.

Brian will go through a lot of soul searching in the coming chapters, and we'll get to see Julia's perception of things in the next chapter which will be from her POV.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Exceptional

"I'll do it tomorrow" - the constant refrain of an addict. Has Julia been calling from the road? Does she realize that something is amiss?

Brian speaks of "the failure of Dipraxa", but it's his failure, not the drug's. I wonder if he will realize that later on.

Julia is home. I'm thinking she may have realized something was up. No matter, she knows now.

At the beginning of the book, I really thought Brian was in a place where a loved one had left him and he was alone. But he still has Julia, and I know she will fight for him instead of deserting him.

Having Fran and Mike go on missions was smart, as they were not able to check up on him.

Now the story really begins!

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

You'll see in the next chapter, which will be from her POV, what she has been thinking since they've been apart for two months.

Nicely put: It's really his failure, not the drug's.

Absolutely correct. When I originally wrote the prologue, that was my intention--that his wife would have gotten fed up and left him, but as the character of Julia developed and their great love for each other blossomed, I decided to change the context. I'm glad you picked up on that and you predict that she will fight for him. That shows me you really understand the character I've tried to portray. We'll get more clarification of this in the next chapter.

And you also picked up that Fran and Mike couldn't be around or Fran surely would have known something was wrong. I had to provide a reason for her not being there.

Thanks very much for the 6 stars, Pam. It means a lot coming from you.

Comment from Wendy G

Exceptional

What a cliffhanger! And, it's probably appropriate, despite what will undoubtedly follow, that she can see the full imact of what he has done to himself. Excellent writing - I knew this would happen but it's still devastating.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Thank you so much, Wendy. It wasn't going to be this way when I first wrote the Prologue many months ago. Being a "pantser," I didn't have any concept of what his wife would be like then, and it sounded like she had become fed up with him and left two months ago. But as I developed the character of Julia and their love affair, I decided to give that a different context and turn it into a surprise for her to see him like that.

We'll see how she processes this in the next chapter, which I temporarily change to be from her POV.

Thanks for those 6 stars too.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

What a slob he has begun and how happy he is with his huge doses of Dipraxa. He has created a drug that takes away all pain, even the pain of a conscience. And then his wife arrives early. He doesn't feel any embarrassment that his drug has failed because he feels so good. Sadly, now he has to deal with a lot of problems.

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Perfect summary of where we are now, Carol. Do you think there's any hope of resurrecting a normal life now, or does this lead to the end for Brian and Julia? We'll see.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Well, I will say, I think the writing and editing are sound, and this chapter is in keeping with the how the story, and Brian have been crafted so far. It does wrap back around to the prologue in a way that is also in keeping with tone of the story.

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 Comment Written 23-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

You're holding back here, Lance. Or you're reserving judgment until you see how this unfolds. I look forward to your real take on things.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

I am disappointed in Briam who left the path intended to be drwan into the weeds and brambles to be ensnared as some of the souls in pre-mortality were by Lucifer's cunningness. Damn. I would let Brian go if I was Julia. We'll see.
P.S. -I had a piece released today.

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 Comment Written 23-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Good thing he's not married to you! We'll get Julia's take on things in the next chapter.