Autumn Joys
A beautiful season44 total reviews
Comment from jake cosmos aller
you nailed the form my dear. don't undersell yourself. Try writing more poetry the more you try the easier it gets. I liked the image chosen and the nature theme
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
  |
you nailed the form my dear. don't undersell yourself. Try writing more poetry the more you try the easier it gets. I liked the image chosen and the nature theme
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the support and encouragement. I appreciate both.
Comment from SimianSavant
Yup this works just fine as a Haiku. The presentation though: avoid black on blue, unless it is a lighter blue. Too hard to read. If using dark blue background, I suggest white text.
Thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
|
Yup this works just fine as a Haiku. The presentation though: avoid black on blue, unless it is a lighter blue. Too hard to read. If using dark blue background, I suggest white text.
Thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the support and the help. I appreciate both.
Comment from Sanku
I am so happy to read a poem by you .Yes the syllable count is perfect and Haiku is about nature.And if one link a human emotion or state ,it would be fine .Please do more .
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
|
I am so happy to read a poem by you .Yes the syllable count is perfect and Haiku is about nature.And if one link a human emotion or state ,it would be fine .Please do more .
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the support and encouragement.
Comment from Gloria ....
Good for you Barbara giving your hand a try at poetry and with one of the more difficult poetic forms--the haiku.
Here are a few simple guidelines for a classic haiku. The first two lines define two concrete images, (two images you could take a photograph of) which you have with the breeze and the trees. These two lines are grammatically connected.
And the third line gives a syntactical break often separated by an Em-dash. The purpose of the third line is show awe or insight the poet gained from "seeing" the two concrete images interacting in a new way.
Your poem would then read something like this:
cool autumn breezes
remove hues adorning trees--
snuggly weather temps
This is a simple template for the form and as you become more adept at the form guidelines can be bent to give a more surprising element to the third line satori component of the form.
That said, great job! Aussie gave you some good advice. My guess is you will be a poet in no time.
Much enjoyed. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
 |
Good for you Barbara giving your hand a try at poetry and with one of the more difficult poetic forms--the haiku.
Here are a few simple guidelines for a classic haiku. The first two lines define two concrete images, (two images you could take a photograph of) which you have with the breeze and the trees. These two lines are grammatically connected.
And the third line gives a syntactical break often separated by an Em-dash. The purpose of the third line is show awe or insight the poet gained from "seeing" the two concrete images interacting in a new way.
Your poem would then read something like this:
cool autumn breezes
remove hues adorning trees--
snuggly weather temps
This is a simple template for the form and as you become more adept at the form guidelines can be bent to give a more surprising element to the third line satori component of the form.
That said, great job! Aussie gave you some good advice. My guess is you will be a poet in no time.
Much enjoyed. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the support and help.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow, you should try poetry more often, you're haiku is very good. A lovely presentation and nature imagery. You put me in the mood for Autumn.... we need cooler weather around here. At least it's not 3 digits anymore. I pray it stays this way.
Good syllables count. I would add a dash after the end of the second line....
Autumn breezes blow
Stunning rich hues adorn trees --
Snuggly weather temps
Well done!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
|
Wow, you should try poetry more often, you're haiku is very good. A lovely presentation and nature imagery. You put me in the mood for Autumn.... we need cooler weather around here. At least it's not 3 digits anymore. I pray it stays this way.
Good syllables count. I would add a dash after the end of the second line....
Autumn breezes blow
Stunning rich hues adorn trees --
Snuggly weather temps
Well done!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
-
I have added the dash. Thank you for the support and the encouragement.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Little ones are hard to do. How do we cram everything in?
The blue matting is way too loud and abrasive. It takes away from the beauty of the leaves and puts us off the poem. Try a olive, khaki, buckskin, or amber. We want to blend in with nature.
Haiku is nature, usually in a 5-7-5 senryn is about emotion and people also usually a 5-7-5
The best ones have phrases that meld into each other like this:
Breeze blows autumn trees
Stunning colors seen in flight
We grab a sweater
I see a Haiku poem as an action poem if that helps.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
|
Little ones are hard to do. How do we cram everything in?
The blue matting is way too loud and abrasive. It takes away from the beauty of the leaves and puts us off the poem. Try a olive, khaki, buckskin, or amber. We want to blend in with nature.
Haiku is nature, usually in a 5-7-5 senryn is about emotion and people also usually a 5-7-5
The best ones have phrases that meld into each other like this:
Breeze blows autumn trees
Stunning colors seen in flight
We grab a sweater
I see a Haiku poem as an action poem if that helps.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the support and the help.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Oh, I'm sure you can write anything, and see, you've just proved it with your Haiku, which I often refer to as a sneeze poem, hai--ku. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
|
Oh, I'm sure you can write anything, and see, you've just proved it with your Haiku, which I often refer to as a sneeze poem, hai--ku. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
-
That's sweet. Thank you.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This was your first attempt at this poetry form?? Well, you're a natural then, because you absolutely nailedcit! I am duly impressed. Aussie was right to encourage you. You did great!! Xoxo
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
|
This was your first attempt at this poetry form?? Well, you're a natural then, because you absolutely nailedcit! I am duly impressed. Aussie was right to encourage you. You did great!! Xoxo
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
-
I've written a few others over the years, but realize I'm no very good. Thank you for the encouragement.
-
Barbara Wilkey!! You would never in a million years use those words to review anyone else's work, so no fair saying them about yours! I thought your poem was lovely. Xoxo Give credit where it's due.
-
HUGS!!!!
For one of my very early poems a reviewer told it read like a laundry list. For real.
-
A pox on his or her head!!
-
LOL
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a good haiku if it is your very first one ever. The imagery includes a reference to the time of year. Your syllable count is just right. Haiku are a great warm-up exercise to writing more poetry. You can even put several haiku together.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
|
This is a good haiku if it is your very first one ever. The imagery includes a reference to the time of year. Your syllable count is just right. Haiku are a great warm-up exercise to writing more poetry. You can even put several haiku together.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, 17 syllables, normally split into 5,7,5 as you have done here, and about nature. Your words are beautiful as is the image - so you have made an excellent start. Keep going!
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
|
Yes, 17 syllables, normally split into 5,7,5 as you have done here, and about nature. Your words are beautiful as is the image - so you have made an excellent start. Keep going!
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
